Disclaimer: Rowling owns Snape and Lupin. Naoko Takeuchi owns Sailor Moon.

Snape

Everything passed before his eyes so quickly that before he knew it, he was a smiling idiot (with perfect teeth, mind) when his drag queen bride leaned forward for the sealing kiss. It was about that time that recognition struck him as he lifted his dark eyes to his lover's face.

Merlin wasn't a strong enough wizard to swear upon.

Blood and hell also would not suit.

Severus wasn't sure if there was any word he could possibly use to swear upon the great prank narcotics and alcohol had played on his mind: he was on the fucking moon marrying Remus Lupin (in an absurdly light gown) with zoo animals as witness and priest. And there was still Edith Piaf warbling in the distance.

How the hell did he not realize that when the priest was saying their na--oh right, the hippopotamus didn't speak English!

His gloved hands dropped from clasping the werewolf's hand and suddenly he felt a jerk like one when apparating and saw nothing but darkness and stars in his eyes.

...

Severus groaned as he lifted himself from the stone floor, robes half unbuttoned and with a garish brandy stain on his white shirt. Sitting up, he realized he was still in his office and there was a werewolf sprawled over his chair face-down.

...

Then everything that happened in his trip to the moon came back to him and Severus ignored the blistering headache that was starting to build and grabbed the half-filled whiskey bottle. No pensive would alleviate him of that dream.