Disclaimer: The Harry Potter series does not belong to me.

A/N: WHOOP! I finally finished. i've been working on this oneshot for quite a while. I totally want to thank LarrytheStapler and MissMarySue for all their help and betaing and idea throwing. ANyways, they both rock and are really good authors themselves. (Hint Hint: Go read some of their stories after you finish this)

"If men were equally at risk for this condition- if they knew their bellies might swell as if they were suffering from end-stage cirrhosis, that they would have to go nearly a year without a stiff drink, a cigarette, or even an aspirin, that they would be subject to fainting and unable to fight their way onto commuter trains- then I am sure pregnancy would be classified as a sexually transmitted disease and abortions would be no more controversial that emergency appendectomies."

1st month:

[Suspicions]

"Hey Draco. I need you to go run down to Walgreens and get a home pregnancy test," Hermione told Draco.

"A home pregnancy test? Why? Do you think your pregnant?" Draco questioned curiously.

"I don't know…I have a suspicion. I mean…I've been throwing up. And my period was supposed to be a week ago!" Hermione stammered. Draco could see the worry lines on her forehead. He came up to her and enveloped her in his arms.

"So…? That's okay. Your periods are icky. You're all pissy and bossy. Well, even more than usual. And all the blood. Eww. Gross," Draco gave a small shudder and chuckled.

"Draco. Shut up. This is serious. I could be pregnant!" Hermione pushed his arms away and glared at him.

"And…? My parents a have been wanting grandchildren for quite a while now," Draco commented smoothly pulling out a kitchen chair and taking a seat.

"Quite a while? We've only been married for a year! We're only 20!" Hermione exclaimed angrily, stomping her foot. Draco just raised an eyebrow at her two-year-old-like antics.

"Honey. My parents got married and had me right after they got out of Hogwarts," informed Draco as he leaned back in his chair.

"WELL WE ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS. NOW GO GET THE TEST!" Hermione shrieked furiously. Draco's chair toppled over sending him sprawling onto the floor.

"Okay! I'll go. No need to yell. Oh yeah…Can I apparate there? You know how much I hate driving the Ferrari. It looks funny," he remarked as he got up off the floor, brushing the nonexistent dirt off his pants.

"We are supposed to blend in with the muggles! You can't just pop out of thin air and not expect them to say anything. Take the car and go!" Hermione yelled throwing the keys at him. Draco caught them and ran out the door in fright.

Draco walked up to the Ferrari and got in, slamming the door angrily.

"And she says I need therapy! Look at her. She's the one throwing a fit!" He mumbled to himself as he pulled up in the Walgreens parking lot. He got out, slamming the door, and walked into the store.

"Hmm now where would I find it?" Draco's eyes scanned the signs hanging above the aisles.

An employee walked by, "Do you need help?"

"Umm…yes. Where are the pregnancy tests?" Draco asked.

"Oh…there's the Health section. It's probably there. Aren't you a little young to be buying a pregnancy test? You're like what? 17?"

"For your information, I am 20," Draco responded angrily.

"20? Yeah right munchkin," The employee replied smirking.

"Shut up and leave me alone," Draco remarked, walking away toward the Health section.

Quickly, he grabbed a box of pregnancy tests, and walked over to the cash register. He put down the pregnancy test. The cashier looked at him strangely as he ran it through the scanner. "3 dollars and 24 cents. Hey. Aren't you a little-"

Draco's patented Malfoy Death Glare shut the man up. Draco shoved 5 dollars into the man's hands saying "Keep the change." He grabbed the box, walking to his car.

2nd month:

[Finding Out]

Draco and Hermione walked through the corridor of Hogwarts. What were they doing in Hogwarts? Well, they were going to see Madame Pomfrey, of course. There was only one healer that Hermione trusted. Madame Pomfrey. So, that's where they went to check if the home pregnancy test was correct when it said that Hermione was pregnant. After all, it only said 99% accurate on the box.

They entered the hospital wing, to see Madame Pomfrey huddled over a Slytherin who was laying in bed. "Madame?" Draco called trying to gain her attention.

"Just wait a moment Mr. Malfoy," the healer called, without looking up. A minute later, she sent the boy off, and turned to face the couple. "So…Long time no see Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy. So what are you here for? A pregnancy test, right?" She questioned, glancing at her clipboard.

"Yeah," Draco answered. Hermione just nodded.

"Okay, let's get you into a private room," She said, as she led them through a corridor. "Now lie down on the bed," Madame Pomfrey ordered. Hermione laid down. "Pull up your shirt," She added. Hermione did as she said, blushing.

Madame Pomfrey put her wand tip on Hermione's stomach and mumbled a spell. A white light emitted from Hermione's stomach.

"Yup. You are pregnant."

"So it's true? I really am pregnant?" Hermione asked.

"Yes it is true. How many times do I have to tell you?" Madame Pomfrey replied with a hint of annoyance.

"Like twenty," Hermione whispered, still in shock.

"Well I don't have enough time to tell you that you are pregnant twenty times. I'll let your husband do that," the healer informed, looking at her clipboard.

"Me? Why me? I believe it!" Draco whined.

Madame Pomfrey glared at him, "Too bad. You have to." And with that, she left.

"Fine. You are pregnant. You're pregnant. I knocked you up. There's a bun in your oven. You're preggers. You're expecting. Your parents are going to be grandparents. My parents will soon be grandparents. You are going to be a parent. You are going to be a mother. You are going to have our baby. You are going to be giving birth 8 months from now. You're going to introduce the Malfoy heir to the world. My sperm plus your egg equaled a baby. There is a fetus inside you right now. Our love child is growing in you. I am going to be a father. You are soon going to be holding our child in your arms. I am soon going to be holding our child in my arms. In 8 months, our child will be born into this world. There you go. I told you twenty times. Happy?" Draco asked.

"No. I still can't believe it. About 30 more times should suffice," Hermione remarked, in a daze.

"30?!" Draco cried in alarm. Then he gave a sigh, "Fine…"

3rd month:

[Fretting]

"Oh I can't believe it!" Hermione exclaimed excitedly.

"Hermione. Please relax. I've already told you 50 different ways. That's enough," Draco complained form his seat on the couch.

"I know. I mean. It just seems so unrealistic. Like a dream. There's a baby inside me," Hermione replied, putting a hand to her stomach.

"I know. Now come down and take a seat," Draco said, patting the empty spot on the couch.

"But I can't. There's so much to do! We need to get ready! We need to get a nursery ready. And a crib. And get bottles. And cloths. And we still need to tell everyone! Oh there's sooo much to do!" Hermione exclaimed!

"Uggh. Can't we just relax? I feel like taking a nap. I need to keep up my beauty sleep you know," Draco said in his usual, conceited manner.

"No. Get up. Let's go shopping," Hermione demanded, grabbing her coat off the rack.

"Wow. You actually want to go shopping. Normally when I mention it, you run over to Harry's house," Draco commented in surprise.

"Draco. Shut up and get your ass into the car," Hermione ordered.

"Wow. Pushy," Draco muttered, getting up off the couch. He grabbed the keys and followed Hermione to the car. Both of them got in, and Hermione told him to drive to Target. Draco complied. And Hermione started her rambling.

"Okay. So first of all. We need to get a room ready for the baby. We need a crib, paint, curtains, and anything cute that we can put inside. And we need to get toys. And stuffed animals. A stroller would be good. And of course, a car seat. Maybe one of those one-way walkie-talkies that they have for baby rooms. Oh and blankets, and bibs, cloths, diapers. And a diaper pail. A few bottles. And pacifiers. A first aid kit would be good. And a few parenthood books," Hermione rambled, ticking off her fingers as she went. Draco just drove on, rolling his eyes.

"I don't think we should check the gender of the baby. I want it to be a surprise. Oh No! Then what color do we paint the nursery. Hmmm. What about yellow? It's a pretty neutral color. Not too boyish and not too girly. What do you think?"

"Sure…I think whatever you just said is fine," Draco replied.

"What do you mean by that? You have to help chose too. You are the father," Hermione responded.
"Umm…I just meant that I love your ideas and I can't think of any better ones myself," Draco remarked. Hermione just raised an eyebrow. "Hermione, I'm a guy. I really, really don't care."

"You don't care? This is your child and you don't care?!" Hermione exclaimed angrily.

"Oops! I didn't mean that. I just meant that.." Draco hurried to explain.

"That what?" Hermione asked angrily.

"That…Umm…That…"

"Exactly."

4th month:

[Telling Everyone]

Little Amy Weasley wandered absently through the hall. Where are Aunt Hermione and Uncle Draco? She stopped in her tracks, hearing a muffled sound on the other side of the door. Arguing…Hmm they must be in there.

"No. I think it should be in a more personal manner," Hermione explained calmly. Personal?

"So what? You want to go to everyone's house one by one and tell them that you are pregnant?" Draco scoffed. Pregnant? Aunty is pregnant? Wow! I got to go tell everybody! Rose sped off to go inform everyone of the new development.

"Yes! It's better than your idea!" Hermione responded.

"What is wrong with announcing it at a party?" Draco asked.

"It's so aloof. It sounds so…mean," Hermione told him.

"Mean? It does not sound mean. It's the professional way to do it," Draco replied.

"Draco! We are going to tell everyone separately. And that is final," Hermione declared.

"Fine," Draco hmphed, crossing his arms.

Later that Day

"We have something to tell you," Hermione announced, holding Draco's hand.

"We already know. You are pregnant," Ginny declared.

Hermione's and Draco's eyes widened in surprise. "How do you know?"

"Magic."

5th month:

[Bloating]

"Draco…You. Me. Bed…Now," Hermione purred into Draco's ear.

"Hermione…What are you doing?" Draco asked.

"I, my dear, am trying to get you into bed. We haven't made love in forever," Hermione whispered, nuzzling Draco's neck.

"It hasn't been forever," Draco confronted, slightly nudging Hermione away.

"That was a hyperbole," Hermione scoffed, putting her arms around Draco's neck.

"A what?" asked Draco.

"Nothing. Forget it. That doesn't matter. I just want you to make love to me," Hermione whispered once again.

"No Hermione. It's not good for the baby. We might hurt it," Draco insisted.

"No we won't!" Hermione yelled, objecting.

"Hermione…" Draco said, trying to reason with his wife.

"This is because I'm fat isn't it?!" Hermione yelled hysterically.

"No! It's not. Calm down," Draco defended.

"How can I calm down if you don't even love me anymore?!" Hermione screamed, crying.

"Hemrione…I love you. And you are not fat," Draco said softly, taking Hermione into his arms.

"No you don't. You hate me because of this fat," Hermione sobbed.

"No. I don't. You are carrying our baby. And I love you even more because of that. No matter how fat you get," Draco explained softly, wiping his wife's tears.

"Aww…Thanks. I love you too," Hermione said. Draco just smiled and gave her a soft kiss.

"Wait a minute, you just said that I was fat!"

6th month:

[Cravings]

"I want tacos and Jello and Jamba Juice!"

"What the hell? It's 3 in the morning!"

"No! I want Tacos and Jello and Jamba Juice!"

"Hermione…go back to sleep."

"No! Get your ass out of bed and into the car!"

"Hermione. Please don't make me go."

"Go!"

"Fine then. But just one question, are you going to eat them all together?"

"Yeah. Of course. I'm going to take the tacos, put Jello in them, and dump the Jamba Juice on top. Mmmm yummy."

"Are you sure that that's healthy?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a fever or something?"

"No I don't. Now go get me my food!"

"Can't I get it in an hour or something?"

"No. GO NOW!"

"Okay. Okay. I'm going."

7th month:

[Mood Swings]

This time of November found Draco Malfoy sitting on the roof, trying to put up Christmas lights. The key word being trying. The Great Draco Malfoy was not a very good Christmas lights putter-upper. He wiped the sweat from his brow, and bit his lip, frowning in concentration, as his hand slowly inched closer and closer to the stack of lights on the ladder. Slowly. Slowly. Slo-

"I love you!"

Draco jerked, losing his footing and scrambling to grab onto something. Once he got himself resituated, he looked down to see his wife staring up at him waving. He just gave a tight smile and waved back. Then he turned around to grab the lights. Once again, he bit his lip, frowning in concentration, as his hand slowly inched closer and closer to the stack of lights on the ladder. Slowly. Slowly. Slo-

"Why aren't you saying it back?"

And once again, Draco lost his footing, this time, not being able to grab onto something. He landed on the floor at Hermione's feet with a big THUMP.

"Uggh," Draco groaned, sitting up slowly. "Hermione…I was a bit busy," He commented, looking up at his wife.

"I hate you!" Hermione screamed in his face, giving him a kick in the side.

Draco groaned once again, rolling over. He nursed his bruised ribcage, pouting slightly. "What was that for?" He questioned.

"Why do you hate me?" Hermione yelled. And amazingly, she started crying.

"Hermione? Are you okay?" Draco asked cautiously, reaching a hand up to his wife.

"No! Leave me alone!" She gave a loud sob and turned around to run back into the house, wiping her tears as she went.

Draco just stared after her, open mouthed, "What was that all about?"

8th month:

[The Birth]

"Draco, I'm having pains."

"Pains?"

"Yes. I think there's something wrong with the baby. Can we go to St. Mungos? I'm worried."

"Okay. Let's go."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Premature birth?"

"Yes. It seems that her body is trying to reject the fetus."

"But…Isn't that dangerous?"

"Yes, for the mother and the baby. But it's the only thing we can do. As we speak, some of our best healers are delivering the baby."

"…"

"I'm sorry Mr. Malfoy, but there's nothing else we can do."

"No potions? Spells? Anything?"

"No."

"Your wife is in pain. You should go be with her."

"Okay…."

After:

"She's now fully healthy. You can take her home." The healer declared as he walked into the room.

"Are you serious?" Draco asked, unbelieving. It had been 2 weeks since they had to do the emergency birth. Hermione made it through safely, though very tired. The baby pulled through the birth, but she was born underdeveloped. Her heart had almost failed her three times, sending her family into fits of worry.

"Yes. I am. She's your Christmas miracle. Merry Christmas," The healer said, smiling broadly.

"Thank you. Thank you so much! Merry Christmas to you too," Hermione exclaimed, rushing to the nursery eagerly to pick up her baby for the first time. Draco sped off after her, both of them grinning madly.

A/N: Haha I got a bit lazy at the end. But anywyas, this is like my longest oneshot ever! Yay! My first fanfic of the new year. I wanted to put some thought behind it. I wanted somehting life changing to happen. And it did. And its still in the Christmas spirit too. Hope you liked.

Reviews make my world go 'round. Please don't make my world stop spinning. Review!

XOXO

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