Category: Twilight
Title: Teasing
Genre: Humor
Rating: M for sexy talk, no action
Summary: Edward returns to the Cullen house from a sexytime with Bella and has to face the teasing of his family members.
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE IT WOULD BE.
POV: Edward because he's my favorite…no Emmett is…no Edward…no Emmett…gah! I'll take either…or both…mmm.
EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD
EPOV
As I was driving home from Bella's I looked down and noticed that my four bottom buttons of my shirt were missing. I smirked as I recalled how that happened.
I got out of the car and walked inside. Only to be embarrassed beyond belief.
"Nice sex hair Edward," said Rosalie. That started it. Now they were all going to join in.
Esme: "Sex? Him and Bella?"
Carlisle: "Is she okay? She's not hurt is she?"
Alice's panicked face relaxed and she said, "Oh. Good. She's fine," before I could even open my mouth to answer. Psychics.
Emmett: "Did you really have sex?"
Jasper came down the stairs suddenly and said "Oh yeah. He's definitely post-orgasm." Why is no one allowing me to speak today?
Emmett says with a coy smile: "You do that thing I told you about?"
I didn't answer. I just smirked. Oh yeah. Emmett knew the answer simply from the look on my face.
Me: "Does anyone else have a comment? Or can I go upstairs now and—."
Emmett: "Sniff your fingers?" Rosalie laughed hysterically.
Me, annoyed: "…change. So I can go to Bella's and—."
Alice (Damn all psychics to hell): "Return her panties?"
Jasper and Emmett howled with laughter and simultaneously thought, NICE, kid!
That did it for me. I grabbed the closest thing I could get my hands on and chucked it at Alice's tiny head. She didn't bother catching it and it fell to the floor. It was shattered into tiny pieces. Fuck. It was one of Esme's antique…something or others.
Jasper's thoughts: Oooooh she's pissed. Get outta here.
I fled upstairs, changed, and was back in my car before Carlisle could get his arms around Esme to restrain her. But I could still hear her.
Esme: "EDWARD! I'VE HAD THAT SINCE THE 20s!!!! WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A NEW ONE!?"
Carlisle's thoughts: Thanks Edward.
EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD EMMETTEDWARD
I got back to Bella's around 6 AM, right when Charlie pulled out of the driveway to go fishing.
I climbed in her window, kissed her forehead, and headed to her decrepit computer.
I was searching for Esme's antique on websites—in several languages, I might add—and I finally found one that could be shipped to the house. Thank, God. One problem solved. 8,000 dollars and 4 hours later.
Bella awoke and when she noticed me in her room, she came over and curled onto my lap.
Me: "Nice sheet." I smirked.
Bella: "I was tired."
Me: "I would hope so."
I reached into my pocket. "Here, these are yours."
She repeated, "I would hope so."
I laughed and picked her up and walked to the bed. "You still tired?"
"Definitely not." She kissed my neck. "And don't steal my panties this time."
I chuckled and laid her down. "No promises."
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