Hi there. So this is just a short one-shot, my silly attempt at rationalizing Nathan's behavior in the latest episode. My first non-AU Heroes story, so I hope it's up to snuff. Please understand, I'm not trying to justify beating Peter with a pipe he he he, but I do think Nathan's had a rough few years…that's all I'm saying! Please enjoy and review.

Sibling Rivalry

Nathan would never understand the significance behind the phrase "turning over a new leaf". Oh, he understood the meaning people intended to convey by using that particular proverb. They spoke of new beginnings, of disembarking from the rocky valleys of yesterday for greener sun-dappled pastures. Yet these words constantly evoked rather different imagery for Nathan. He would picture his childhood vacations spent in the country with his parents, where he loved to explore the groves of trees and lush bouquets of wild flowers lining the nearby creek where he was sometimes allowed to play. He would inspect each plant closely, his analytical mind already hard at work. What he found upon the turning of a leaf was rarely a sight to behold. No, he didn't recall ever finding anything insightful or visionary on the underside of a leaf, whether it was willow or oak or maple; deciduous or evergreen. Rather, there were bugs. Copious amounts of creepy crawlies in an unending variety of insects, slugs and snails. Slimy, gross things, the stuff of a young boy's delight, but not often associated with hopeful innovation or reform.

However, in the time since learning of his unusual gift, Nathan began to have an entirely new appreciation for that troublesome idiom. People can try to change. They fight to better themselves or their lives, but all they find on the other side is a new kind of slime.

Nathan was a perfect example. Constantly trying to do the right thing but eternally misunderstood. The decisions he had made had resulted in his being dubbed cold, stoic and heartless and, if he was honest, in the beginning it didn't really bother him. He understood that he was respected rather than cherished, admired rather than loved. Personal sacrifice is mandatory for achieving greatness, and, besides, those niceties were more along Peter's line.

Unfortunately, he reflected, somewhere along the carefully outlined path to his destiny something had changed. He'd lost part of himself. Had he so wholly given over to the things he had once only put up with out of necessity? When had the dirty dealings and backroom politics stopped leaving that ugly taste in his mouth? Most importantly, he had to ask himself "When did I become a walking punch line?"

Question: What is a criminal lawyer?

Answer: Redundant!

Question: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?

Answer: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

Ha ha. It got old. And yet, how very close he had been to justifying the jeers and scoffs.

That damn campaign…

The disbelief that flitted across Heidi's face at the mention of the Vegas incident.

Linderman's cool calculating tone as he explained the meaning of 0.07%

The flush of shame in Heidi's cheeks when she was told that she made Nathan look weak.

Hiro's cries of "Villain!" echoing in his mind long after they had pulled away from that curb.

Angela's look of satisfaction as she watched her son fall into line with her megalomaniacal overtures.

Claire, her body crumpled on the street, willing to jump out of a window in order to get away from him.

The pain, anger and betrayal expressed across every line in Peter's face during and after that ridiculous speech.

But hadn't he learned from his mistakes? He had faced his demons in those difficult months following his miraculous recovery. He tried to do what was right, to fix the mistakes of the past. He willingly and voluntarily put his name and reputation on the chopping block that day in Odessa. It was so clear that exposing the company was their only option; it would benefit so many frightened people.

At least it would have, if it hadn't been for Peter stopping him. Of course, Peter always did the right thing. As a kid he was always bring home strays (human and canine), volunteering at any place that would take him. So selfless, so noble. People loved Peter for his generosity and boundless optimism, for his staunch refusal to go against his heart even if it meant bucking off the traditional yoke handpicked by his father. When the future was in danger whose help had been sought? Hiro had manipulated time and space, consequences be damned, to beseech Peter's aide on behalf of their cause.

"Save the cheerleader, save the world." Others would scoff at the improbability of the situation from their heights of intellect and reason, but Hiro knew Peter. He knew that Peter was the only one who would take the word of a time traveler, tirelessly dedicating his every resource to following this cryptic advice. Even when his beloved big brother mocked and sneered, when he refused his help and went so far as to put up barriers between Peter and his goal: the snap of latex gloves, the smell of turpentine and that splash of black throwing back flecks at him in reprimand of his underhandedness. Threatening to have Peter detained…stop. Nathan shuddered at that memory, pushing it into the furthest corner of his mind. All of that was gone and done. Over. He'd made up for that by showing up at the right moment to save New York and the world.

Peter. That's right, he was thinking about Peter. Perfect Peter. Playful Peter. Pretty Peter. Precious Peter. What did that leave him? Naughty, neglectful, neurotic Nathan. God, his name even alliterated better than Nathan's. Peter was always the good guy. The nurse. The dreamer.

Did there have to be this disparity between the siblings? Why was Nathan doomed to play the stale role of Cain forever, just because he aspired to more in life? He'd never thought of himself as a bad person. Sure he was a lawyer, but he was a DA for goodness sake. He prosecuted the criminals, so why was he counted among their ranks? He served his country as a pilot, however ironically that may be. The desires spurring him toward politics were entirely humanitarian, in the beginning.

He'd never shot anyone. Could Peter say that? Right at the moment when Nathan was in the limelight for something other than scandal or self promotion, Peter shot him. Shot him. With a gun. He could have died because Peter couldn't stand to share the glory. And what was with that little mind trick Peter played on him, allowing him to spout off nonsense about angels and being chosen by God. He'd made a fool of himself on national television because of that sonoffa…

But…naturally…Peter was only doing what was best. What was right. Self-righteous prick.

He could sit at the head of their dead father, holding the gun that killed the man who had raised them and dare to suggest that it was the right thing.

Everyone was wrong. Peter wasn't a virtuous crusader or a bleeding heart good Samaritan.

He was insane. A sane man doesn't heedlessly rush unarmed into the path of a known serial killer. Or jump off of a building because a dream told him that he would fly. He was losing it and his mania was going to destroy the world. Nathan's only thought as he had swung that cold metal pipe at his little brother was that he'd had enough lunacy. Peter wouldn't stop him again. He'd have his moment, his time in the sun. It was Nathan's turn to be the hero.

And then Peter saved him. Again. Over the years Peter had saved his brother's sanity, his hope, his life and his family, but as he turned to face Peter from the perimeter of that dirt circle something changed. Rage over needless destruction of a plan that would have saved the world under Nathan's direction pounded in his ears, setting his blood to burn through his veins. As always he was confronted with those doe-like eyes and the familiar victimized expression, but rather than bowing to their cooling powers, Nathan was surprised to find he had achieved an unexpected enlightenment.

Peter saw himself as a martyr, trying to protect his foolish brother from yet another mistake, but what did he know about anything? A spoiled kid still in his 20's trying to create some sense of importance in an otherwise mundane existence. For all his posturing, vehement protestation and eager lectures, he was wrong.

The image of a little girl in chains floated across Nathan's vision. This time, Peter was wrong about how to save the world. His hero complex had grown out of proportion. Sure, they'd stopped Linderman. He'd stopped their father. He'd tried to stop Nathan and he had succeeded for the moment, but it wasn't over yet. Pinehearst was in ashes, but the goal, salvation for the world, was alive in Nathan.

He was plagued with the burden of his decision. Memories, like ghosts, floated through the attic of his mind, their ephemeral forms stalwartly maintaining their positions despite his every attempt to forget. He'd debated with himself all night about whether or not he should go through with it, but that little girl wouldn't leave him alone. Peter wasn't around to warp his mind, shoot or punch him now, and by the time he found out about Nathan's plan, it would be too late. Nathan picked up the phone.

"This is Senator Nathan Petrelli. I have an urgent message for the President. It's a matter of national security."

Well, let me know what you thought. :) thanks for reading.