The Hanukkah Story: South Park Style
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or its characters, if I did I'd be a millionaire, but I do own Mutt if you want to use him please ask me first thank you.
It was that special time of year once again, Thanksgiving was over Black Friday had arrived, and before you knew it Christmas had its grip on the community. The radios spouted out 24 hour Christmas music, TV stuffed with stale TV specials and advertisement to get people to spend money on expensive crap, innocent trees being chopped down to be decorated and doom to dry in some dude's apartment, and a major Christmas party being set for the town of South Park.
The majority of the town as well, as the country, loved Christmas and during the middle of December decided to throw a major Christmas party. Not everybody celebrated Christmas of course but there was really only one family that didn't, the Broflovskis. The Broflovskis were the only Jewish family in all of South Park and therefore the only ones who celebrated Hanukkah. Their son Kyle, being amongst Christians who were doing their Christmas thing, often felt like a lonely outcast this time of year. His friends Stan, Cartman, and Kenny would go off to the mall to tell Santa what to bring them but there was no point for Kyle to follow them so he often staid behind. And now there was a party which would only make things worst.
The night of the Christmas party everyone was in the community hall minus the Jews. Kyle's family really didn't want him mingling with the Christmas crowd less he feel worst and worst about his Jewish heritage. But despite his mother's wishes Kyle hesitantly went to the party he wanted to be his friends or so he thought. As soon as he entered through the doors he was met with a silent stare from the crowd and one Anti-Semitic fat ass that wouldn't have any Jew ruining his Christmas.
"HEY!!" Cartman angrily greeted Kyle as he failed to blend in.
"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE THIS IS A CHRISTMAS PARTY NO JEWS ALLOWED!!"Cartman added.
"But I just wanted to hang with you guys…everyone in the town is in here…" Kyle replied "It's ok with you guys right???" He asked Stan and Kenny who only responded with awkward stares that only told him they weren't all that comfortable with his presence.
"Um Kyle…you know we're best friends and I have no problems with your religion…it's just that well….." Stan began searching for words.
"Yeah you know it just doesn't seem…umm…I don't know" Kenny added. Neither knew how to finish their sentence so Cartman did it for them.
"JEWS DON'T BELONG HERE THIS IS A CHRISTMAS PARTY NOT A FAGGY HANUKKAH CRAP PARTY!!" Cartman yelled out.
Normally Kyle was able to handle Cartman's remarks but with the added bonus of his friend's unwelcoming responses was a tad too much. Doing his best to hide a tear he turned back towards the door.
"Sure I understand..." Kyle said before opening the doors and leaving the hall.
"DUDE! That wasn't right! "Stan yelled at Cartman
"Yeah you fucking ass!" Kenny added
"Who cares he should find other Jew rats to celebrate Hanukkah and not ruin Christmas parties..." Cartman responded with his hateful tone. A brief silence ensued before the party continued everyone but two guilty friends and a friend fed up with Xmas went back to celebrating their beloved Christmas.
Kyle quietly stood outside the halls trying his best not to weep out his pain. He sighed as he stared into the window and watched everyone having a blast without him. Unknownst to him a friend had left the party and was standing beside Kyle as he continued to gaze into the window and began tearfully singing "It's hard to be a Jew on Xmas, my friends won't let me join in any games, I'm a Jew a lonely Jew on Xmas.."
After listening for a while the friend responded"Hey I'll be a lonely Jew with you."
Startled Kyle jumped a bit almost falling over himself; he turned around to find Mutt standing behind him.
"You scared the shit out of me Mutt!!" Kyle replied in a slightly angered tone as he wiped some of the tears in his eyes trying to hide is pain. "What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be in there enjoying the Christmas party?" he then asked.
"Eh well I'm pretty much tired of Christmas…It gets shoved down your throat everyday and well besides I'm Jewish anyway…" Mutt replied, now those who don't know Mutt should know that he has a strong interest and curiosity in Judaism and claims to be Jewish though his family is Catholic and he can't prove he has a Jewish ancestor.
"Sorry to say this Mutt but you and I both know you're not Jewish…." Kyle replied.
"Hey I could be you never know! I'm mixed with everything else…" Mutt responded defensively.
"Whatever dude…I have to go home my mom would have my ass if I were late for Hanukkah." Kyle sighed as he began walking off.
"Hey can I join you? I mean if it's ok…" Mutt asked
Kyle stopped for a moment and looked back at Mutt. "You mean you want to join us for Hanukkah?"
"Yeah, I always wanted to see what it was like. I mean I don't hear much about it I know there are dreidels and latkes and they sound cool but I'd like to actually you know, share the holiday, can I join you…then you wouldn't have to be a lonely Jew." Mutt replied
"Really, wow, none of my other friends ever asked to share my holiday with them. All the care about is Christmas..." Kyle answered.
"Well can I?" Mutt asked again.
"Ok sure…I don't think my family would mind." Kyle answered feeling a bit happier since he wasn't alone this holiday season. And so they left the community hall to its Christmas thing and as they began walking to Kyle's house the two guilty friends in the hall were sitting in the corner feeling badly for not defending their Jewish comrade.
"Dude that just wasn't right...I mean so what if he's Jewish he's our friend and he needed us!" Stan said to Kenny as they sat in gloom.
"Yeah, we're not really good friends we just stood there as Cartman insulted him and I knew he was hurting…we should have done something…" Kenny replies
"Maybe it's not too late…there's got to be something we can do…" Stan said…"But what?" And the two friends sat and began thinking of a way to cheer and make amends with Kyle.
"Hey I think I know what we can do!" Kenny shouted with a "eureka expression". He whispered his idea into Stan's ear.
"Hey that just might work, we'll need help though." Stan said "Hold on." He then proceeded to walk onto the stage in front of the hall and spoke in to the microphone. "Um…hello could I please get everyone's attention." He shouted as loud as he could. The crowd stopped everything it was doing to listen to Stan,
"Thank you; I don't know how anyone with a conscience could enjoy a party knowing that there is a lonely kid who was just kicked out moments ago just because he was Jewish. I know Kyle was hurting and almost to the point of crying, imagine it him and his family are the only Jews in South Park and each holiday season they're out casted because they don't celebrate the same holiday we do. Imagine if you were in that situation. They're pretty much all alone every holiday season." Stan told the crowd. Everyone thought about his words for awhile, except for Cartman who was just glaring at Stan, how anyone could sympathize with a Jew was beyond fat ass's comprehension.
"Gee w-w-hen you put it that way I feel kind of bad for kicking out Kyle. I didn't mean to make him cry" Butters replied.
"Yeah..." The crowd added with Butters' remorse.
"I think we should something for the Broflovksis to show them that they don't have to feel out casted and that we do care about their traditions." Stan added.
"Wait…wait…" Fat ass yelled and began talking to the crowd from where he stood. "You honestly can't be fooled by his speech he's working for that sneaky Jew rat! The Broflovskis deserve to be out casted and lonely for being Jew rats!" Cartman added in an almost demonic tone. (perhaps Mutt targeted the wrong person for being a demon..)
"You see this, by kicking out Kyle and out casting his family you are becoming more like him." Stan said as he pointed directly at Cartman.
Everyone gasped and widened their eyes in shock. Obviously they didn't want to end up like Eric Cartman. Cartman just groaned.
"How could we have been so intolerant??" Wendy asked out loud. "Stan you're right we have to be more sensitive to others of different religions and traditions. But what can we do?" She asked Stan who was doing his best holding back some vomit. He couldn't handle it and just stepped off to puke. Kenny quickly got up to continue what Stan had started.
"Stan and I came up with an idea, with your help we can pull this off. Now it'd be easier if our true Judaic expert Mutt was here but he disappeared so we'll have to do some research on our own." Kenny told everyone. "Now here's the plan…"(which one be revealed until later hehe)
Away from the Christmas party and the plan being hatched unknownst to themKyle and Mutt arrived at his house, along the way Mutt couldn't help but notice all the Christmas trees in the windows and the decorations on the front lawn and the Broflovskis' house stood out like a sore thumb the only one with Stars of David streamed from the roof, a Happy Hanukkah sign, and a beautiful gold menorah in the window. It was a simple but beautiful sight especially for Mutt who got an all time high from everything Jewish.
"Well here we are." Kyle announced as he got the key to his house and opened to door. His mother and father were preparing for the third night of Hanukkah.
His mother welcoming with opening arms "Kyle! You're home bubeh and just in time. *And it was at that time that Sheila noticed Mutt* Jake what are you doing here?"
"Mom, Mutt wants to join us for Hanukkah tonight." Kyle answered her.
"Yeah I need an escape from Christmas for a while. Is that ok?" Mutt asked
The Broflovskis first looked at each other and then back at me.
"Why sure you can Jake, it's nice to see a young man like you open to other cultures unlike some of the folks around here." Sheila responded with a groan. "Well don't just stand there in the snow come on in make yourself at home you're just in time for us to light the menorah and we have latkes in the pan."
Smiling Mutt followed Kyle into his house, as he did Mutt felt as if the stresses of Christmas were left outside the door. It felt as if Hanukkah had fit him perfectly, there was no chaos. No 24hr Christmas music, no rush to the crowded malls with the crowded parking lots and the crowded streets, no getting running over by shopping carts, no fighting over expensive crap, just a simple family tradition. If only the rest of the country would feel this way Mutt thought to himself.
"What do we do first?" Mutt asked Kyle
"Well first we have to light the menorah; it's the third night so we have to light three candles tonight." Kyle explained as he and his family circled around their golden menorah, eagerly Mutt stood by Kyle and watched and listened as they sung the Blessing of the Candles (not going to post the whole thing lol) as they lit the three candles. The glowing flames brightened the room and added a spirit to the golden menorah it was a mesmerizing sight Mutt could have gazed at it all night.
"Come Jake, it's now time for the latkes." Gerald invited him; Mutt entered the kitchen where the warm small of fresh potato pancakes greeted him. Mrs. Broflovksi handed Mutt a plate with a small stack of the latkes. Within no time at all the latkes had been eaten.
"Wow those latkes were really good! I've had potato pancakes before so I can say those were excellent." Mutt complimented
"Yeah Mom cooks the best latkes ever." Kyle added.
"Glad you enjoyed them boys now go in the living room for your presents." Sheila responded, with that Mutt followed Kyle into the living room where Mutt watched Kyle and his brother Ike each opening up a small gift.
Ike opened his to find a small blue teddy bear which he hugged with glee. Kyle opened his present to find an iPod.
"Sweeeet! Thanx mom & dad!" Kyle said gratefully as he hugged his parents. Mutt watching just as happy as Kyle was just to join in on the Hanukkah spirit.
"I'm sorry we don't have any gifts for Jake, we really weren't expecting you but you can have this." Mrs. Broflovski said as she handed Mutt something, he opened it up to find a blue dreidel. To some a dreidel doesn't seem all that much but too Mutt it was much more, no one would be able to understand it.
"Wow a dreidel Thanx!"Mutt replied graciously as he took the dreidel out for a spin (ha get it a spin! Bad joke lol) Through all of this Mutt was pondering he knew the traditions celebrated on Hanukkah but he wondered why. Why the menorah, why the latkes, why the dreidel? For awhile he looked at the menorah and finally asked.
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but I'm curious why do you light the candles, why the latkes, why dreidels? Why is Hanukkah important to you?" Mutt asked, was always the curious one and well he couldn't help that he didn't know the story of Hanukkah back in his own town in Pennsylvania he went to Catholic school and was surrounded by Christianity, they wouldn't teach the story of Hanukkah and if they did they most likely got it wrong.
"Well I'm glad you're willing to learn about our traditions." Mrs. Broflovski replied as she grabbed a book from a top shelf and sat on the couch. Gerald sat next to her while Kyle and Ike took a pillow to sit on, Mutt sat next to Kyle and everyone eagerly waited to listen.
Mrs. Broflovski opened the dusty but sturdy book "I hope you're comfortable and in the mood for a good tale because I'm about to tell you the story of Hanukkah."
(To be continued…..)
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