Sparkle

….

Summary: "How old are you?" "Seventeen." "How long have you been seventeen?" Blink. "Three months? You planned my freaking surprise party." SasuSaku AU.

Author-person: I woke up one morning and this idea just came to me. Seriously. DO NOT LAUGH.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Twilight.

OOC-ness.

….

"So,"

Sasuke glared at the pink-haired girl sitting across from him. You know, the one who always aced her Physics tests. The one who used to pelt Tic Tacs at the back of his head. The one who was his bestfriend (secret crush -cough--cough-) The one who, much to his annoyance, slammed a thick, black, hardbound on his lunch table and almost -almost- knocked over his can of tomato juice.

"So," he echoed, onyx eyes not quite leaving Haruno Sakura's face. "what?"

It wasn't usual for Sakura to look so serious or reflective. It was illogical, really, since she was a chatterbox and would openly rant about anything that caught her eye. Sasuke was pretty much used to it though, since he'd been stuck with her and Uzumaki Naruto for almost half of his life.

The past few days have been slightly quiet, though. Partly because Sakura was busy burying her nose into some book. Partly. But the stoic Uchiha thought that it was mainly because Naruto had a bad case of tonsillitis.

It was about freaking time, Sasuke thought inwardly.

Sakura pursed her lips and leaned forward, pink brows creased, viridian eyes calculating and awfully contemplative-looking. She drummed her painted nails onto the abnormally thick volume (who carries those things around, anyway?) and gave Sasuke a strange look. Like she'd come upon the newest scientific discovery, and that it was SO much better than the cure for cancer.

Sasuke felt like a freak.

A totally hot freak.

"Uchiha Sasuke," she pointed at him- for more dramatic effect, the quiet boy guessed. "you're a vampire."

The accused vampire stopped in mid-chew and unintentionally swallowed a huge chunk of his sandwich. He choked, and Sakura was thoughtful enough to push his tomato juice towards him.

Naruto, who was hiding under the table for reasons unknown to his friends (he was really just comfortable there), spat out his instant ramen and sprayed it all over the Uchiha's leg.

"Oh god, I think a noodle came through my nostril." The blonde croaked.

"You're delusional." Sasuke said, his calm facade betraying his inner bewilderment. "A whacko nut-job that used to think that Tic Tacs could be used to alter the cell composition of my brain."

"And you are overreacting." Sakura, who had a fine pink brow raised, gave him a very dry look and decided to pursue her pointless tirade. "It's pretty obvious, really. You have the makings of a blood-sucking leech." The Uchiha grimaced at that, but Sakura paid no attention to him. "You're pale, and cold. You like to distance yourself from others, you're abnormally good-looking and you hardly ever sleep."

"That doesn't explain anything. Besides, I don't drink blood, and I go out in the sun."

"It's not that you don't drink blood. It's that you hardly ever do. That explains why your eyes are always black, and it partially justifies your being socially incapacitated. You isolate yourself to avoid being tempted to feed." Sakura crossed her arms over her chest, looking very pleased with her twisted sense of logic. She beamed proudly and Sasuke just deadpanned.

"Just… stop, okay? Stop right there." He ran a hand down his face, obviously exasperated and wanting very much to go home. It didn't help that Naruto was now sitting beside him, laughing his guts out and looking like a complete idiot because there was hardly any sound coming out of his mouth. Just weird rasping, and sharp intakes of breath.

Like a dying frog, Sasuke thought.

He glanced at the book that was lying innocently in all its black, special-edition glory, on their lunch table. Sasuke picked it up and glanced at the cover, only to slam it back down and squirm away from the thing. Like it was some repulsive, disease-infecting... thingamabob. "Twilight." He hissed, glaring at the image of paper-white hands holding a bright red apple.

Naruto shuddered and gave the pink-haired girl a very disapproving look. "THAT is what this is all about? Sakura, please don't tell me you're obsessing over Edward Cullen too. He's already got Hinata!"

"Of course not!" She flushed and snatched the book away, holding it protectively over her chest. "I'm merely using Stephenie Meyer's descriptions of vampires as a reference to distinguish what Uchiha Sasuke truly is."

"Hn."

"How old are you?"

Sasuke gave the girl a very sour look. He'd heard that before, and decided that it was probably better not to answer her question. It was probably rhetorical. Or at least he hoped it was.

"Sasuke,"

He sighed. "Seventeen."

"How long have you been seventeen?"

Blink. "Three months? You planned my freaking surprise party."

"You weren't supposed to answer that!"

"This is pointless, Sakura. I am not a vampire. I don't drink blood, nor do I explode when hit by UV rays."

"You won't explode. You'll sparkle."

"What?"

"That's just his body glitter, Sakura." Naruto managed to rasp out.

"Shut up, Dobe."

"Look, there's one way to prove me wrong about this." Sakura stood up and propped one hand on her hip. "Hug me."

Sasuke stared. "You're kidding."

"No. Hug me. I'd like to see for myself if you're not the littlest bit tempted to drink my blood." She had her arms outstretched, fully ready to receive an embrace. Sasuke only continued to stare at her, feeling very uncomfortable and looking slightly constipated.

"You're joking."

"Damnit, Uchiha! Just hug me!"

He hesitated for a few good seconds, thinking if agreeing to do this was such a good idea… Considering that fact that most of the occupants of the cafeteria were already looking at them with curious and intrigued expressions plastered on their faces, it would be best if he didn't do it. Especially since he saw that familiar shade of red bobbing all over the place.

Karin would probably spend the rest of Biology screeching at his ear.

Then again, it wouldn't be right if he left Sakura standing and waiting like an idiot, either. She'd be laughed at, for sure.

Decisions, decisions.

He sighed, visibly frustrated, but resolved to just get it over with. With an audible grunt, the Uchiha stood up and moved to wrapped his arms around her.

Unexpectedly though, Sasuke seemed to have taken too long contemplating things and the ever impatient Naruto had decided to take matters into his own hands. So, with all the strength he could muster, he pushed the Uchiha just as he stood up to hug Sakura, causing him to stumble and flail and result to an inevitable crashing of his and Sakura's soft -impossibly soft- lips.

And before he knew it, he was hearing an applause, numerous cat calls and some mindless shrieking from god knows where.

The pink-haired girl flushed as Sasuke pulled away, his hands still tight on her shoulders. "Oh. I-. You... pass? I think."

Sasuke only swallowed the lump in his throat and inclined his head to the side. Without thinking, he blurted out, "So, do I dazzle you?"

Sakura blinked, and forced his words to register into her brain. "Wow. That so does not work on you."

He made a face and she laughed, and hugged him again. Sasuke smirked and thought that maybe, just maybe, Twilight wasn't such a bad thing after all.

"Sasuke, are you wearing body glitter?"

….

Author-person: Ye-ah. I have absolutely no idea where this came from. I think I sniffed paint again or something.

Just so you know, I am neither a Twilight-hater, nor am I overly obsessed with it. :D I do think, however, that Carlisle is incredibly hawt.

Please Review!