Author note: It's been a long time coming. I finally put it together. So here it is. Episode 5 of Valhalla chronicles.
Episode 5: My Big Fat Moron Wedding
Blue base had been converted into a wedding with ease; witch frankly freaked Church the fuck out. Wedding bells were ringing up above. When the fuck did they put those up there!? All the guests were arriving. Where did all the freaking limos come from?! The Priest was preparing for the ceremony and The Blushing Bride to be, Sheila was in a beautiful flowing wedding gown, left hand bedecked with wedding ring.
"where the Fuck did she get a wedding dress form!?" Church shouted completely flabbergasted. "How the fuck are all these people?! How is blue base a god damn chapel now!? Why is sister wearing the dress over her fucking Armor!?"
"Dude Chill! It's a wedding bra!" tucker commented, strolling up to the Blue Team Defacto leader. "Besides I eyed a few totally rockin' brides maids over there."
"I don't think so mister." Sister appeared next to the green clad blue. "You are going to be a daddy in nine month's. You are officially a one-woman man now. Me being the only woman." Sister nodded her head with a hmph and walked off. "OOOOOH MUFFINS!"
"Man" tucker moaned. "Monogamy fucking blows man!"
"Oh quit you bitching for once Tucker!" Church snapped back. "It's about time you had to pay the piper in my opinion any way."
"I bet Tex is doing something way cooler than this." tucker sighed.
Freelancer HQ Mainframe hub
Tex dodged another Sniper round from the sadistic white armor-clad Wyoming when a sudden urge hit her.
"I suddenly want to fucking murder tucker for some reason." Tex muttered slightly surprised. "He probably said something stupid in regards to me. Yeah I'll kill that stupid fuck when I'm done here. Got it." Tex then charged into the open expertly tossing a grenade up at Wyoming, forcing him off his vantage point.
"Well played Allison" Wyoming laughed, " But you'll have to do better than that!" He then un-holstered an assault riffle, running toward Tex as he fired. Tex was forced to duck behind another mainframe server; firing a few quick shots form her rifle. Oh no, the flash drive! Tex suddenly realized that Wyoming had forced her away from the usb port. Shit, shit, shit, shit!
"Oh My Allison you weren't looking for something in her ewer you?" Tex felt her blood boil as she heard that. "And it's done! I do hope you don't mind me taking this little doodad off you. My employers were also very keen on getting what was left of the data here you see." Wyoming's smug voice only added fuel to Tex's anger.
"NO!" Tex screamed as she leapt out of cover just as Wyoming slipped the thumb drive into a waist pouch. She emptied the entire clip at Wyoming only for him to burst in a shower of static. A hologram decoy!
"Sorry to cut this short." Wyoming called from high above Tex's position. "But My employers are quite insistent on getting this information. So I'll have to postpone your second death till later. TATA!" Wyoming laughed as he disappeared.
"WYOMING!" Tex roared in impotent fury at her most hated enemy. NO she was supposed to get the data no problem! Then… then That fucker Wyoming… who should be DEAD…. Shows up and steals here ticket to answers! MOTHER FUCKER!
"I bet the blues aren't putting up with any shit like this."
BLUES BASE
"Why do I have to put up with shit like this?" Church asked out loud as a bright pink pony skipped by. The wedding Party was in full swing, Caboose and Sheila, that's flesh and blood Sheila, were nuzzling up on the dance floor, since when did that appear? There were drinks and food and Music. Tucker was trying to hit on some of the brides maids, while Sister tried to run them off by declaring she was his "Baby Mama". Church didn't know any of the fucking people, or animals for tat matter. That had shown up. What really got to church is HOW they fucking got here in the first place! They just sorted of appeared like they were conjured from the either.
Also, Small Technicolor horses had been sporadically showed up and leaving for the past hour. Technicolor horses that freaking talked. A purple one walked up to church.
"Sorry that things got out of hand like this/" She apologized. My friend the.."
"Pink one?" Church offered back. Eyed the purple unicorn. Freaking purple unicorn man.
"Yes she kind be a little odd sometimes." The Purple unicorn continued.
"You want to hear odd." Tucker snorted. "You should have been here that one time Tucker gave birth to an alien baby."
Fade to black
"Wow sounds like quite the… Wait what?"
"You don't want to know. You REALLY don't want to know."