*Note - a lot of the first part of this chapter is just recalling the events up to this point. I won't feel offended if you decide to skim over it, though I encourage you to read it; it's helped me to clear up a lot of things in my head, and it's quite likely to help you as well, if you've forgotten some things since the start of this fanfic about five months ago.*

"Azami, what do you think I should get for the Guardians?" I asked as I walked through the mall. It was the day before Christmas, and I had only remembered today that I really needed to get something for everyone. Money wasn't an issue - I had plenty from working for Easter - but as I passed store after store, I hardly no idea as to what I could actually buy for them.

Azami shrugged. "I haven't got the slightest clue. The only things that dragons really like are treasure hoards, though I kind of doubt that they'd need that."

I sighed. "Thanks for the great advice."

"Well, it can't be too hard. I mean, there's a ton of stores here. And they say it's the thought that counts, anyway." Azami said.

"We've already been looking for an hour."

"But you haven't even gone into any of the stores." Azami pointed out. "If you just actually try to look harder, then maybe we can finish early and get out of here more quickly."

"I know, I know... I'm just not in the mood for shopping right now." I said.

Azami flew around my head. "Then let's do something else."

"But I've gotta get presents!"

"But nothing." Azami said. "Let's go eat lunch or something, and then if you can get in the mood so that you're actually looking, then we can try again."

My stomach grumbled at the mention of lunch. "Yeah, that might help. Where should we eat?"

We ended up deciding on a popular fast food restaurant. I ordered a chicken sandwich thing, with some fries for Azami to snack on. I ate slowly. My mind seemed preoccupied with other things. I suppose that was partially due to all the action from just a couple days ago. For that matter, perhaps it was from all the action I'd had these past few months since Azami had hatched.

Once I had finished eating, I picked up my cell phone. Not like I needed to call anyone - I was simply going to pretend I was talking into it. I did this every now and then when I needed to talk to Azami in public, and when I didn't want to deal with the uncomfortable glances of people thinking that I'm crazy.

"Azami, do you remember when you first hatched?" I asked, feeling slightly stupid.

Azami dropped the fry she was holding and glared at me. "You mean you've been distracted all this time because you feel like reminiscing? I must have told you a hundred times that a dragon lives in the present! I don't want to waste my time here if all you're going to do is go off into some stupid daydream."

"Actually, I started keeping a tally of how many times you've said that." I replied. "If I remember correctly, that's somewhere around time number fifty-two that you've told me to live in the present. A hundred is a bit of an exaggeration."

Azami rolled her eyes. "And yet, you never seem to listen. Anyway, as I said, if all you're going to do is sift through your recollections, then I'm leaving."

"Aw, come on, Azami! I think I've just got to get this out of my system, and then I'll never need to mention it again. But since I can't talk about it all with Amu or Mai, I've got to turn to you."

Azami shook her head. "Forget it. I'll catch up with you in a while. You can talk to yourself, and get it out of your system that way. I don't want to have to put up with it for however long it takes you to sort through all your thoughts." And with that, she flew off to who knows where.

Well... I'm still not in the mood for shopping. I guess I might as well think on my own.

I threw away the wrapping from my sandwich and the last of the fries, and then began wandering around the mall.

"Well... I guess it didn't all start with Azami's hatching. It started on the first day I went to Seiyo... the day I found the egg." I said to myself as I walked, barely mumbling the words so that no one else would notice that I was talking to myself. I just needed to voice what I was thinking. If I just thought about it, I'd probably get hopelessly sidetracked.

"So... that first day. I was so excited when I found Azami's egg. I got to school, and Amu showed up late... and that's when I first saw a shugo chara. I was so confused then, but still completely happy. Up until then, I'd had to make my own excitement - even if it meant having to light a few explosive chemicals." I laughed a bit at the thought. "After school, I finally got to talk to Amu, and then I met all the Guardians. If anything, their explanation about everything confused me even more. But I understood it all eventually. Even then, while she was still in her egg, Azami still managed to make trouble. Hitting Kiseki after calling her a commoner... that was so great. I had more fun that day then I could ever remember before."

I reflected over those good memories for a couple minutes, but then a shred of doubt entered my thoughts. "But even then, I was planning on betraying them. I don't think I necessarily wanted to hurt them, but... But they were all so goody-goody. I wanted more than that. And I still want more than that. At least, I think I do."

I shook that train of thought from my head, then continued going through the events of the past. "Later that night was when Azami hatched... that was amazing. And especially that whole chara-change experience. No matter what has happened since then, or what might happen in the future, I doubt I will ever regret having Azami as my shugo chara. Perhaps I would be better off with a nicer would-be self, but... well, to be honest, that's simply not as fun."

"And then the next day... the next day was when we learned about Easter. I didn't have any misgivings then about joining up with the evil guys. It was something I'd wanted to do for so long. If I had the chance, would I do it again? Would I risk my friendship with the Guardians just for power and a bit of evil 'fun'? But... I don't think answer that question. Unless I really had the choice again, I don't know how I'd really act. But if I had to decide, based on what I know now... I think I would. The Guardians are important to me, but I'd hate myself forever if I gave up the dark side of me that I know is there."

"But anyway, then... I don't know how soon, but sometime after that I had a really busy day. I met Mai in the morning. I hardly cared about who she was at the time, but now look at us. After school I ended up wandering to the planetarium. That was a really magnificent place. And I met that guy... what was his name? I think it was Amakawa, or something like that. Maybe he was a bit odd, but now that I think about it, his prediction had been kind of accurate. I wish I could remember more of what he said now. Then later that night, I met Ikuto. So many emotions... but what were they, really? Just anger and mischievousness, or something more?"

I shook my head for a moment at the thought, then noticed my surroundings for the first time in a while. I had only a vague idea as to where I was in the mall, but it didn't really matter. Right next to me was an ice cream shop (with really good ice cream, if I remembered correctly), and so I decided to stop in and get an ice cream cone. Once I paid for my double-fudge chocolate ice cream (I really like chocolate ice cream), I kept walking around the mall, hoping that there wasn't some rule about eating outside of the food court.

Between bites of ice cream, I continued on to where my memories began to grow unpleasant. "Right after that, I got my power from Easter. It's led to a lot of bad things happening and many hard choices, but that had to be the best day of my life. With that power, I was able to character transform with Azami. We flew for a long time that day... the feeling was indescribable. It wasn't just the freedom that came with flight - it was also the complete confidence in myself that I got from the chara-nari, as well as my new X-energy fueled power coursing through my veins."

"The next thing that happened was the revelation of Nikaido as evil. I'd never noticed his less-than-nice self before then, but once I knew about it, I was never comfortable around him again. I only wish I knew why. I mean, I'm bothered by next to nothing; snakes, spiders, the dark - I actually rather like all those things, and I am certainly not afraid of them. So why my irrational fear of Nikaido?"

Something tugged at my memory, as if in response to my question. I paused in my walking for a moment, attempting to figure out just what it was. But the more I thought about it, the farther away it seemed to drift. In the end, I licked up the ice cream that was beginning to drip down the side of the cone, then continued on my way.

It took me about a minute to figure out where I had been in my recollections, and what came next. But once I figured it out, I grinned. "Next was that whole conflict with Ikuto... perhaps it didn't end all that pleasantly for me, but I have to admit that having a real battle was kind of fun. Though I feel kind of bad that I hurt Ikuto..." I mentally shook myself. "But he was the one who mocked Azami and me, and a dragon certainly doesn't take that sort of talk from a cat! But now that I think about it, that was the first time that my X-energy gave me trouble - with Azami's help, it practically forced me to chase after Ikuto. Then all that depressing poetry Nikaido assigned me started my main problems with the X-energy. Making me feel like there was no point in living. Definitely not pleasant, but if that's the price of my X-energy, then I can live with it. Plus, I haven't had to worry about it for a while - I wonder if I'm getting better at controlling it?" I decided that that had to be the case. Now that I realized it, it seemed like a huge accomplishment. I had my power, and I was able to keep it from overwhelming me. Most of the time. Perhaps I was misjudging the facts, but I had a good feeling that I was right. But whether I was right or not, I continued with my recollections.

"I got more X-energy sometime soon after that, and that was when I met Hoshina Utau. But since I'm hardly ever in the Easter building itself, I've never really talked to her since then. I wonder what she's like? And how did she get involved with Easter? Now that I think about it, I also have no idea why Ikuto was working for them. Next time I see either of them, I'll try to remember to ask."

"And then... that night in the park, when I ran into Ikuto and Yoru. They told me that Easter has some way to control me. I'm still worried about that. But if it was true, why didn't Nikaido use it to threaten me when I betrayed him? It would've meant that his scheme would have worked. I think Nikaido may be prideful, but not so much that he would fight me if he could control me instead. Ikuto must have been lying; there's no other explanation for it. Still, I'll stay on my guard - even if Ikuto was lying specifically about that, I'm sure Easter will do whatever they can to get power over me, especially after that whole thing with Nikaido."

"That next morning was weird - I had completely forgotten everything that had happened the night before. Without Azami, I would have no idea that it had occurred. Azami was probably right: I must have forced myself to forget something that was too unpleasant to think about. But if I was able to forget that, who knows what else I've forgotten from before Azami hatched or whenever she wasn't around? That worries me almost as much as the thought of Easter controlling me, but I suppose there's nothing I can do about it. And who knows? Maybe that really was the first time I'd made myself forget."

I finished off my ice cream, then sat down on a bench. I was somewhere near the center of the mall, where four of the main hallways intersected. By now, my train of thought was organized enough that I stopped talking to myself - the next part was almost too difficult to speak aloud, anyway.

Then things began to spiral out of my control. Under the influence of the X-energy, I actually attacked Amu and Ikuto. But I still wonder if there isn't some part of me other than the Darkness that truly wanted to do it. I don't think that I'm in love with Ikuto, but what if it was jealousy that motivated me? But that's really silly. Ikuto has got to be at least five years older than me, and a know-it-all annoying pervert to boot. There's something about me that's attracted to him, I'll admit. But... Now that I think about it... It's not love. Deep down, I know it's not. As Azami always says, a dragon doesn't need anyone. And while maybe that's true for the dragon part of me, what about the human part? I know I'm trying to get rid of that human part, but still... what if I fall in love before it's totally gone? That is, can I even completely eliminate my emotions? Do I really want to get rid of my emotions anymore?

I shook my head, clearing it. Those questions would simply lead on to more and more, none of them answerable.

And after that, I actually took Mai's egg. I told her that her dream was useless, then took the X-egg that resulted. Even though I didn't want to. But why was it that I wouldn't bring myself to do more or less the same thing to Amu?

I thought about it for a while.

Do I simply like Amu more? No, that can't be it. If anything, the opposite is true: if I had to choose any one person as my best friend, it would probably be Mai. So why could I take Mai's egg, and not aid Nikaido in kidnapping Ran, Miki, and Su? Is it because I actually knew Amu's charas, while I've never met Mai's chara? Perhaps that's part of it, but it seems like there's something more. I think... I think that I saw each one as deciding a different thing for me. When I took Mai's egg, it was seeing whether or not I could abandon a friend for power. And I was able to. No matter how horrible a thing I did, I don't regret it. Then, when I was faced with whether or not to aid Nikaido in taking Amu's egg, the decision of power or friends had already been made. So that was when I had to make a different decision: whether to let myself be ordered around or not. I chose not. If he had asked for Amu's charas first, and then Mai's egg, maybe it would have turned out differently. Maybe Amu would have been the one betrayed by me, and Mai would have been the one I refused to betray.

"Mizuki-san! Is that you?" I flinched involuntarily and jerked back to reality. Walking down the nearest hallway was none other than Nikaido. But something was different about him. Something about his tone of voice, the way he held himself, the smile on his face... They were all extremely minute differences, but to someone like me who had been fine-tuned to him for some time, I noticed. Just like I had thought when I had last seen him, the evil undertone was gone. Now he wasn't just acting cheerful and goofy - he was cheerful and goofy. It made a massive difference to me. Absolutely nowhere in me was there any fear. Still, I couldn't help but wonder just how awkward a conversation with him might be right now.

"What a coincidence that I would see you here!" Nikaido said once he'd finished his walk over to me. I stood up, so that we could talk on a more even level.

"Uhh... yeah." I said. As I'd thought, it was incredibly uncomfortable to talk to someone who had been your evil boss up until a few days ago. "I'm here Christmas shopping. Why are you here?"

"Oh, there's at least one person I'm planning on getting a gift for." Nikaido said. "I also saw that there was a sale on novelty ties, and I wanted to get a couple."

I really wasn't sure if he was joking or not. "Who are you getting a gift for?" I asked, curious.

"Anyway, as long as you're here, would you like to know what happened with Easter after my failed experiment?" He asked, completely ignoring my last question.

I was slightly annoyed that he wouldn't answer me, but I'll admit I was curious about Easter. They hadn't gotten in touch with me yet, and up until now I hadn't had any contact with Nikaido. At the very least, Nikaido didn't seem angry with me about what I did. "I would like to know what happened." I admitted. "Did you tell them about everything that happened?"

Nikaido nodded. "I told them about my failed experiment. Since I'd used a lot of Easter's money on the project, I was fired."

"So do they know that I..." I tried to think of the right way to phrase this. "... That I didn't exactly follow orders?"

"Yes, Mizuki-san. I could have just told them that there was something wrong with the machine, but I didn't see any reason not to tell the truth." Nikaido said.

Thanks. Now that you're a good guy, you couldn't help me out a bit and lie? "So do they still want me to work for them?" I asked.

"I believe so. I think the manager mentioned something about putting you under the orders of someone else, but maybe I'm just imagining things."

"Do you know if they have any way of keeping me in line?" I asked, desperately hoping he'd say no.

Nikaido thought for a moment. "My mind suddenly seems rather fuzzy on that topic. I'm not sure if they do or if they don't, Mizuki-san."

Oh, great. Now he's not going to tell me something that he obviously knows. I half wish he was back to being evil, if only he would tell me the truth! I thought, frustrated.

"They also believe that the Guardians still trust you. That is the case, isn't it, Mizuki-san?" Nikaido asked.

I looked down at the floor, feeling slightly guilty. "Yeah, they still don't seem to have any idea that I'm working for Easter." I decided to change the topic, surprised that the conversation was actually flowing rather smoothly. "So what exactly happened with the whole experiment thing? No offense, but you strike me as someone who would have prepared for everything. How come it didn't work? And what was that blob thing?"

Nikaido laughed, though it seemed to have an a slight edge to it. "The truth is, I wasn't expecting you to turn on me, Mizuki-san. When I asked you to get Tamiya-san's egg, that was a test to see if you would be able to fight the Guardians when I really needed you to. Even when you refused to kidnap Amu's charas, I thought that you would still fight them for me. Or, at the very least, I thought I'd be able to scare you into fighting them. I'm normally quite a good judge of people, but I guess I just misjudged the wrong person at the wrong time." He paused for a moment, then asked, "Did you ask something else?"

"Yeah. What was up with the X-energy attacking?"

"Oh, that's right." Nikaido said. "Well, the X-energy was unstable after being extracted from the X-eggs, which is it's solid focus. Once it managed to get out, I imagine it was trying to grow stronger. First it tried to do it by turning Daichi into an X-egg, which I'm assuming it would have then absorbed. But then, once it sensed the amount of X-energy in your attacks, it decided to turn on you. As I'm sure you noticed, the attacks you used only made it stronger - that's just like when a regular X-egg attacks you. The only reason it was able to affect you was because it was trying to draw the X-energy out of you, not use X-energy against you directly."

"So if that's the case, why can't X-eggs absorb my attacks when I hit them?" I'd demolished X-eggs before with my fire attacks. So why weren't they effective against the blob?

"Hmm..." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I'd have to do more research on it to be sure. I have two theories. One is that X-eggs are simply so much weaker than you, that they can't absorb your attacks, Mizuki-san. My other guess is that X-eggs have a solid form, while the concentrated mass of X-energy that you tried to fend off did not. Of course, that wouldn't explain why you can absorb X-egg attacks while they can't absorb yours.... perhaps it's a combination of both." He talked about it like it was simply some school experiment... it kind of creeped me out, but there was still no malice in him voice.

"Miyuki!" Azami suddenly called, and I looked away from Nikaido to see her flying towards me. She landed casually on my shoulder, as if she'd only been gone for a few minutes, then glared at Nikaido. "I still don't like you." She said flatly.

"Oh? And why is that, Azami?" asked Nikaido. "It seemed to me as if you rather liked me when we first met. Or, if not liked, then perhaps you were amused."

Wow. He was describing her initial feelings towards him almost exactly. "At the beginning, yes." Azami said. "But not since you tried to force me into my X-egg through making Miyuki doubt herself."

I was surprised that she was speaking about it so frankly. I think I'd only mentioned it to her once, and that had been when I was really angry. She'd never brought up the topic.

"Oh, that." Nikaido said, smiling even larger. "You'll have to excuse me for that. I'm somewhat of a scientist at heart, and scientists are always curious. I wanted to see what would happen if an already hatched chara turned into an X-chara. I really couldn't help myself." He said this last sentence with a laugh that chilled me to the bones. It was his evil side again, under a cover of friendly laughter.

But as quickly as his dark side had appeared, it disappeared. "I'll admit, I'm still slightly curious... I hope you won't hold it against me, Azami."

"I am going to hold it against you." Azami said, still glaring.

Nikaido shrugged. "Well, I tried to apologize. At least I can't be blamed for lack of effort. Anyway, I think I should start on my shopping sometime soon - I imagine it must be getting somewhat late. I'll see you when school starts up again, Mizuki-san!" He said, leaving with a friendly wave. It took me a couple of seconds to process what he'd just said.

Wait... does that mean he's coming back to teach at Seiyo again? After all he did to me and the rest of the Guardians? Then it struck me that it probably was getting late. I pulled out my phone and practically could have hit myself - between my reverie and talking with Nikaido, it was already five 'o clock. And I still hadn't bought a single present.

"So did you get all your daydreaming done?" Azami asked as I put away my phone.

"Yeah. Thanks for all your moral support with that, by the way. I couldn't have done it without you." I said sarcastically.

"No problem." Azami replied jokingly. "Anyway, are we going to finish up this shopping or what?"

I started hurrying around the mall, and soon ideas for presents began coming into my head. I guess getting all of that remembering out of the way really did help me think. And, better yet, I knew from my wandering around earlier at which stores I could get what I needed.

For Kukai, I got a new set of cleet spikes. Perhaps not the most personal of gifts, but I did remember him complaining that his old ones were getting dull from all the sports he did.

Despite my better judement, I got Yaya a large assortment of candy, with everything from massive lollipops to gummy bears. It would probably make her hyper enough to literally bounce off of the walls. Which might prove amusing for the first minute or so.

I had some trouble deciding what to get Nadeshiko. She was so refined, and it seemed like her family was rich anyway. But then I remembered a beautiful pendant that I had seen earlier. It seemed to be some sort of stone, which was mostly light blue with some pink swirled into it. I figured it had to be artificially colored, and yet it seemed to be all natural. I bought it and a nice chain to go with it. It was fairly inexpensive, so I didn't have to worry about spending more on her than I had been on everyone else.

Tadase's gift was even more tricky to come up with. Giving him chocolates or candy might send the wrong message, and he wasn't sporty like Kukai. Eventually, I decided to get him a friendly, joking gift. I went to the costume store, and bought a crown, a scepter, and a royal cape. I felt kind of bad that I couldn't get him something that he might appreciate more, but I really didn't know what else to do.

And finally, Amu's gift. I wanted to get the perfect gift for her, and so I put a lot of thought into what I could possibly buy. But she always seemed so happy just being with other people... I had no idea what she could possibly want. I wandered around for a while, hoping for inspiration to strike. As I was passing a jewelry store, something caught my eye. Hope for the perfect present blossomed, and I rushed in. Once inside, I found what had given me my inspiration - Italian link charm bracelets, with who knows how many charm options lying on a table in front of them. I quickly started going through the charms and, as if by magic, I picked out the charms I needed one by one. I found the pink heart first. Then a black spade - I would repaint it later, to match Miki's customary blue color. And finally, a club charm (yet again, I'd need to repaint it). Right as I was about to take these and one of the bracelets to the checkout counter, another charm caught my eye: a king's crown. And then, of course, I had to try and find one for each Guardian. It felt like a miracle as I found one after another: after the crown, I found a soccer ball; after that, I found a pacifier; next, a purple flower just like the one that Nadeshiko got in her hair whenever she chara-change; and finally, a charm with a simple flame on it. A charm for each of the charas of the Guardians. I knew already that Amu would love it. I thanked my lucky stars that all of the perfect charms had actually been here.

Despite the fact that I probably wouldn't see her tomorrow, I wanted to get Mai something as well. I thought about getting her something creativity-related - maybe a creative writing book, or an idea journal for writing - but it felt strange getting her something related to the dream that I had originally destroyed. So instead, I found a bracelet that seemed absolutely perfect for her. It was simply a circle of woven leather, which had been bleached and recolored a light, pastel shade of blue. Exactly the same shade as the pencil that had been on her heart's egg. It was very plain, and not very eye catching, and yet a beautiful bracelet nonetheless. In other words, it was perfect for Mai. She wouldn't have wanted some shiny or brightly-colored piece of jewelry.

While I was still at the jewelry store, I discovered that they had a large selection of multiple kind of rocks, which you could buy by the bag. The bag themselves only held about a handful of anything, but that was all I needed for my intentions. I put in some fool's gold, mixed in with some small crystals and some realistic-looking fake gems. Azami had said that dragons like treasure hoards; I figured she might as well have one of her own. Azami acted like it was no big deal, but as soon as I bought them, she would hardly move more than a couple feet away from the shopping bag I was carrying them in.

I was just about to leave when, on a passing whim, I went to a pet store and got tuna and catnip. I'll admit that I liked Yoru, and it was always fun to see how he reacted to anything cat related. I thought about getting something for Ikuto as well, but decided against it. If I met up with him, he'd just have to live without a gift.

As I finally left the mall at nearly eight in the evening, I let myself reflect once more over the events of the past months. And I came to a conclusion about everything. I had Azami, and with her, I could face anything. I could even go up against Nikaido, who had scared me more than anything else I could remember. After him, whatever else Easter could throw at me would be a walk in the park. But there was one thing I failed to realize:

I'd never actually had an easy walk through any park.

Hooray! Book 1 is finished! I would yet again like to thanks everyone who has read up to this point! I'm so glad that you're apparently interested enough to have read this far! It was nearly 150,000 words~

However, this is not the end! This has only been book 1! Books 2 and 3 (and maybe even 4) are still yet to come! In fact, I waited to post this last chapter so that you could move directly on to book 2! Since I can't put links in the story itself, please go to my profile and you'll be able to find book 2 already up!

Please remember to alert and/or favorite book 2 when you get to it!