A/N: Since I haven't posted a thing in eons, I decided to type up this little ficlet as a Christmas gift for all of you (albeit, it is a few days late! Woopsy!). It's stupid, short, and unedited, but I still got some fun out of writing it! Hopefully, you'll all get a little pleasure out of reading it!
So, happy holidays my munchkins! And may the New Year bring you all mounds of joy and hundreds of smiles!
Jess
Disclaimer: Let's see…I don't own Harry Potter, I don't own Google, I don't own the GooGoo Dolls, or any of their songs for that matter, and I don't own iPods. But I did get these lovely socks for Christmas. *points to pink socks* Awesome, huh?
Discoveries
First discovery. 7:00 am. Head's bathroom.
"Granger? What the hell is that?"
"It's a curling iron. Haven't you ever seen one?"
"The only time I ever came across a long, weird looking tube like that was in Pansy's dresser. I don't think hers was used for perfecting hair styles, though."
"Thanks for the gossip. You do know that you're worse than Parvati and Lavender put together, right?"
"Can't blame me for passing on valuable information."
…
"Granger, did you just snort? That is so not ladylike."
"Of course it isn't. It's obvious that you're the feminine one around here, Malfoy."
"Are you aware that your insults are on the verge of drowning in the Pathetic Pit?"
"Oh, so is that where you live then?"
…
"Fine. That one was good."
"Wow! Don't tell me that I actually managed to make you…MALFOY DON'T TOUCH IT!"
"OW! Damn it! That thing is hot!"
"Well, duh! How else could it curl my hair?"
"I don't know…by magic?"
"Welcome to Muggle-made technology, you dope."
"Oww…"
"Aw come on! I've burnt myself a hundred times with that thing. It isn't that bad."
"Yes it is!"
"Oh, please."
"You and your ridiculous Muggle contraptions, Granger!"
"They fascinate you, and you know it."
"Yeah right."
"Baby."
"This is what I get for being civil to you in the morning. I get scalded!"
"Grow up!"
…
"Well, one thing's for sure. This definitely wasn't what I found in Pansy's drawer."
Second discovery. 12:00 pm. Head's common room.
"Granger? What the hell is that?"
"It's a laptop. Don't tell me that you've never seen this either."
"Doesn't ring a bell."
"For pity's sake Malfoy, get some culture."
"Not until you get a life."
"That was so lame."
"Take it as an early Christmas gift."
…
"What's Google?"
"It's a search engine."
"What kind of a name is Google?"
"What kind of a name is Draco?"
"Come on! My name means dragon! It's totally awesome! Much better than Hermione. What does that mean, eh? Really-annoying-bushy-haired-dodo?"
"Gee. How'd you know?"
…
"Whoa! You just wrote "Christmas cards" in that little box, and all those images popped right up!"
"That's kinda the purpose of a search engine, Malfoy."
"Lemme try!"
…
"MALFOY! QUIT TYPING "HOT NAKED WOMEN" ON MY COMPUTER!"
Third discovery. 2:00 pm. Corridor.
"Granger? What the hell is that?"
"It's an iPod. Come on, you've definitely seen one of these before!"
"Nope. What does it do?"
"It plays music. Now can you go away?"
"No chance! I wanna see how it works!"
"Wha-? Malfoy give me my iPod back!"
…
"Hey! Is this Iris, by the GooGoo Dolls?"
…
"What, you're not even going to answer me?
…
"Aw, quit sulking, Granger! Why were you listening to this?"
"Because it's my favorite song. Now give me my iPod back, you thieving imbecile!"
"That's your favorite song? Really?"
"Why do you care?"
"It's just…my favorite song too."
…
"Here, take it. See you around Granger."
Fourth discovery. 4:00 pm. Library.
"Granger, what the hell is that?"
"It's a pen. Are you stalking me?"
"Yes."
…
"What? Honesty's supposed to be important to you, isn't it?"
"Malfoy, did your parents drop you a lot when you were little? Like, face down, on hard objects?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
…
"Anyway, why don't you just use a quill, Granger?"
"I didn't feel like it. Are you looking for reasons to talk to me?"
"Should I be honest again?"
"Come to think of it, no. Now can you go away? I have work to do."
"Well, you didn't look as if you were working when I got here. You were just doodling hearts in that little book of yours… hey, is that my name?"
"No!"
"Granger, wha-?"
"I've gotta go. Here, keep the pen. It should capture you're attention for at least half an hour."
Fifth discovery. 9:00 pm. Kitchen in head's common room.
"Granger, what the hell is that?"
"It's an egg Malfoy, and if you don't know what an egg is, I'm sending for a few copies of Sesame Street for your Christmas present!"
"Who?"
"Oh, forget it. What do you want again?"
"Well, I wanted to see what you were doing with that egg, actually."
"I'm baking."
"What, at this hour?"
"I'm making sugar cookies. I have to keep the dough in the fridge overnight."
"Sugar cookies? Seriously? Huh. They're my favorite."
"I know."
"What? How did you…Granger, are you blushing?"
"I-I just…I overheard you saying that your Mum used to make them around Christmas time, and it really got you down that the elves didn't make them here, since you can't go home this Christmas. So…"
"You're…you're making these for me?"
"No. Maybe."
"Granger, that's…
"You know what? I'll make them tomorrow. Night, Malfoy."
Sixth discovery. 9:00 pm, Christmas day. Head's common room.
"Malfoy? What the hell is that?"
"Mistletoe. Really Granger, how daft can you get?"
"But…why are you holding it over my head?"
"Because I want to kiss you."
"You-you want to-?"
"Shut up, please"
*prolonged silence, with the exception of a few gasps for air*
"And…what the hell was that?"
"A kiss, Granger."
"Oh…can we do it again?"
Many discoveries later.
"Doctor, what the hell is that?"
"It's your baby, . Congratulations."
"Hermione, you must've done something wrong. He's all slimy."
"Could you hit him for me, doctor?"
"Ow!"
"Thank you."
"That really wasn't necessary, you know. After threatening to cut my testicles off during that final push, I thought that all the violence had left you."
"Oh, shut up and bring me my baby."
"Our baby, love."
"You do know that you smile like a loon, every time you say that."
"I know."
"I love you."
"Me too."
…
"Momma?"
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"
A/N: I've decided that witches and wizards sometimes have the power to talk at birth. Plus, it's Hermione's child. It has to be freakishly smart.
So, did that get a few smiles out of you? If so, I confess that it's been ages since I got any reviews (let's forget the fact that that's completely my fault). Anyone up for giving me a late Christmas gift, in the form of a nice review? :)
Happy Holidays once more you guys!