This is to all the MelloxMatt writers who inspired me to join the bandwagon, to all the readers who kept supporting Mello Loves Matt and kept the MelloMatt groups alive, and to all fans in general. You've all made the year happy and you've introduced me to one of the best pairings I've ever encountered. Happy holidays to you all.

Notes: The song quote came from Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors by Editors, which was a suggested MelloxMatt theme song by bip_bebop in LiveJournal. This was also helped written by the iu_fanfiction prompt, 4. New Year, New Hope.

Warning: Sexual situations/implications

All disclaimers apply.

OVERHAUL

We've all been changed

From what we were

Our broken parts

Smashed off the floor

Someone, turn me around

Can I start this again?

- Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors

The soft sounds of a child's boots running across the snow echoes around the garden.

No one is around during this time; it's just after a strong snow storm, and they were told that it was dangerous outside. Of course, it wasn't like they had anything to do outside, anyway.

But the two of them… are different.

They like the outside, and they like feeling the strong, December winds whipping across their red cheeks. It makes them feel free, somehow. It's a holiday, after all, they reason. There should be at least one day that entitles kids to freedom. They decide that this was it.

"M-Mello!" the running boy calls out. He can't stop the shivering in his voice. He falls. The orange goggles on his face fogs up. Inside his coat, he holds an important thing, and he is to make sure that he'd keep it safe until it got to the right hands.

"Mello. Mello, fuck you."

Mello roused from his uncomfortable sleep and sat up on the beat-up sofa. Matt was suddenly standing close to him, holding something in his hands. Mello recognized what it was, and stared at Matt unflinchingly.

Exasperated, the redhead threw the cloth right into Mello's face. "You're bastard, you know that?" Matt snapped, searching through his pockets for a cigarette. There were black circles underneath his eyes, showing how much of sleep he got from thinking that night – or rather, the lack of it. When he finally got hold of a Philip Morris, he quickly lighted it and placed it in his mouth. The heat from the burning end made him feel a bit warm.

Mello slowly took the damp cloth from his face and placed it onto his side. "What are you talking about?" Mello finally asked – he knew that it was the cue Matt was waiting for.

"Oh, you should ask that," Matt replied icily, leaning against the wall right across Mello from the sofa. "It's fucking New Year and you go out sleeping with some whore. And then you bring her underwear with you. You said you'd go home after-"

Mello groaned, as he stood up. He felt the hangover come up to him quickly, and his head began pulsing right there. "Matt, can we talk about this later?" He walked over to the counter and began rummaging in the cupboard for some strong coffee.

Matt sighed. He retreated to his room and to his games. This had happened so many times before, that he could probably repeat everything in his head. He didn't want to think about Mello's annoying inclination to… to what? Adultery? Infidelity? Well, screw that. Mello probably didn't even care. He could very well say 'I love you' to anybody he'd cross paths with the streets, if that somebody could be of use to him.

Funny how Matt knew all of that, and still stayed.

"Ah, jeez, Matt." The blonde boy who had been standing in the other end of the backyard walks towards him. He bends down to look into Matt's face, but he does not help him. "You're pretty clumsy, you know that?"

Matt does not answer, and instead, he grins and pushes himself up. He holds out his hand to help Mello stand up, as well. Excitedly, he brings out the item. It is a small box covered in what Mello thought as writing paper.

Mello takes it and eyes it in curiosity. He can never doubt that Matt had some kind of trap for him – after all, Matt isn't smart enough yet to think of something like that. Finally, Mello gives up.

"What's this?"

"A present."

Mello sighs. "Of course it's a present. I'm asking you what's inside."

"Open it."

"I have to know if I like it first, so I can give it back to you if I don't."

The flickering screen had Matt absorbed in it as soon as it was opened. Video games were some sort of release for him. It was like he was being transported to another place where he was the hero, the number one. That was why he always wanted to win – when he played, he became the main character.

Tsch, Matt thought, as he clicked a wrong command. He scratched the back of his head before deciding to reset the whole thing again. He had to make everything perfect, and besides, he'd finished the game once before, anyway.

A knock came at the door. It was unhesitant. Matt was startled out of his concentration.

"What?" Matt barked.

A tiny bud of hope sprang in his heart. Mello probably came to explain, or to apologize. He should. Matt was his partner – in all sense of the word – and he should know everything. And Mello did something wrong. There was a bit of good in all people, they say. Matt hoped that this was Mello's.

There was silence at the other end of the door.

Finally, Mello's voice came.

"I can't find the coffee."

Matt takes a deep breath. He feels nervous now. What if Mello doesn't like his gift? Would Matt need to smile and pretend that it's all okay? Or should Matt whine and tell Mello how much it cost for Matt to sneak out and buy one?

"A… A graphing calculator." Matt breathes deeply again, and he launches into a full-blown explanation of all its new features. He tries to make Mello understand, as subtly as he can, that he wants him to have this gift.

Mello thinks in silence. Slowly, he tears the paper off to see what this new calculator looks like. He takes the device outside of the box and begins tinkering with it. Finally, he gives Matt an appreciative smile.

"I like it," he announces, and Matt realizes that he's been holding his breath. "You coulda given it to me inside, though."

Matt nods, and Mello tells them that they should go back into the house. Roger ordered eggnog and they were to have it all together.

They are in bed when Matt realizes that Mello had nothing for him in return. It is only a flicker of thought, though. Matt forgets about it soon enough.

Matt ended up preparing breakfast for Mello.

He couldn't help it. He hated seeing Mello all disheveled and he hated having to imagine what kind of rendezvous he had the night before. He hated having to work for him again, cooking soggy fried eggs and making him bitter coffee, despite what Mello had done. He hated it, but… but he couldn't stop.

He stole a glance at the blonde and saw that he was reading the newspaper. Mello's hand was pushing against one of his temples, and Matt realized exactly what Mello was feeling. A hangover. He groaned to himself as soon as all of these settled in – how many times had he told Mello not to drink when he took out his motorcycle?

It was dangerous. In a motorcycle, especially.

He had always wanted Mello to have a car.

Something dependable. Something that's safer than a motorcycle. Something that's just waiting there and can't be easily stolen. Something like Matt.

Carefully, he balanced the plate on one of his hand as he carried the cup with another. "Jesus, Mel," Matt breathed out as he was finally relieved of the plate and the cup. He saw that Mello had let go of his newspaper and was concentrating on his head. "You really should stop all that drinking."

"And you should stop that smoking." Mello took a stab at the egg. Matt winced.

He watched as Mello ate. He knew that Mello wasn't in top condition, and he knew that he was irritable. But what happened was gnawing Matt inside.

"So what happened last night?"

Mello didn't look at him. He stopped eating and was poking at the opened yolk. Matt waited, looking at Mello hardly. Once Mello spoke, Matt's lips moved with his own. He already knew what Mello had to say.

"The usual."

"Hey... you're still up?"

"Yeah, Matt."

Matt lies still on his bed. He can hear clicking from Mello's side of the room. Soon, the clicking becomes faster – as if in a sort of panic. He wonders what was keeping Mello up and he is tempted to jump out of the bed and into Mello's. However, he knows that Mello hated that.

"What're you doing?"

The frantic clicking stops for a while, and soft grunting sounds come from Mello. Suddenly, their room is filled with silence. Matt speaks up again.

"Mello?"

"Yeah?"

Matt sucks in his breath. He knows what happened. He knows it. He grips his blanket tight, blinking back his tears. He asks again.

"Mello… what are you doing?"

"The calculator broke."

Matt didn't speak. Instead, he waited until Mello finished eating before he stood up to clear the table. Silently, he went over to the sink and opened the faucet.

He could hear Mello moving behind him, and he went to the sink as well. He stopped behind Matt and snaked his arms around him, until Mello's hand reached the flowing water. Matt tried to ignore him; he waited until Mello finished washing his hands.

"Let me brush my teeth first."

Matt listened. He dropped the plates and walked away. He needed a smoke. God, how much he needed it.

"Don't go. I'll be fast." It was Mello. "I'll help wash the dishes."

Retribution, huh? Matt thought, smiling to himself. He paused on his way and leaned against the counter next to Mello. He took another cigarette and lighted it. Drawing a long, deep breath, he felt himself drifting further away…

"Matt. I'm done."

Matt didn't move. He knew what would come next. He knew. He always did. He took out the cigarette and put it out on the counter. And he waited.

It came. Mello had already pushed him against the counter. There was a slight pain in Matt's back, but he said nothing. He watched as Mello straddled him, his blue eyes never leaving Matt's. They looked so sincere, and Matt had to laugh to himself.

Sincere, huh?

"Mel. You cheated on me."

Mello's mouth was on Matt's ear, and he could feel the cold, minty breath touch his skin. Matt tried to ignore his throbbing groin. He didn't move.

"I won't do it again."

Matt smiled a small smile, as he let his hand rest against the exposed skin of Mello's back. He pushed it toward him slightly, feeling a temporary sense of control. Mello took hold of his face and Matt knew that he lost that sense at once.

"… how would you feel if I went around screwing girls?"

"I'd shoot you in the head."

This time, Matt didn't restrain himself. He laughed loudly. "Right," he said, as Mello stared at him with his honest, blue eyes. "You are a sick fuck, you know that?"

Finally, this made Mello smile. Actually, it wasn't a smile – it was a smirk. He had somehow gotten his hand on top of Matt and was now tracing small circles with his fingertips.

Matt closed his eyes, and tried to take in everything. Mello's scent. Mello's hand. Mello. He felt Mello's hands expertly opening his pants, and holding him, touching him. He drew out a long moan.

"Holy-"

But his words were left hanging in midair, as Mello's mouth closed in on his own.

He knew this would all happen, and he let it.

Matt holds his blanket tight, crying softly. He doesn't want Mello to know. He turns around and buries his head in his pillow, hoping it would muffle the sounds.

"Matt, are you crying?"

Matt doesn't say anything. If he replies, Mello would know. Instead, he keeps everything to himself.

Mello sighs and Matt hears him saying his prayers. He's going to sleep now, Matt thought. And he feels relieved. He keeps crying, and his throat begins to hurt for not being able to take it all out. But it's okay.

Finally, Mello says, "I'll fix it, so stop your stupid crying."

And Matt stops.

"Mel, why do you keep on breaking me?"

Mello scoffed at this, and Matt didn't mind. It was the first time he asked that, and he didn't want to stop. He sat up on the bed and stared at the lump under the blanket.

"You just break me so badly that it's beyond all kinds of repair. Even overhaul. If I were a car, you would've been best off selling me to a junk shop. Do you understand?"

"No, Matt. Shut the fuck up and go back to sleep."

But Matt decided not to listen. He needed to tell Mello this, and it didn't matter if he sounded like some hypothetical idiot.

"Jesus, Mel. I'm better off dead, you know?"

"The gun's in the drawer."

He knew that Mello hated this stuff. He hated dealing with emotional wreckages (which Matt tried hard not to be). He hated having to think of trivial stuff that you could possibly work out on your own.

"But I can't die yet."

Mello sat up and looked at Matt in unmasked annoyance. "Matt, what crap are you spouting? Is this about last night again? Look, it was a fucking one-night stand. She wasn't even good in bed." He narrowed his eyes.

"Don't you get it?" Matt asked, staring back at Mello. "You're the only reason I keep myself alive."

After hearing this, Mello became silent. He looked at Matt evenly.

"I know. That's why I called you here." Mello sighed and went back to bed. He covered himself with a blanket and in a muffled voice, he added, "Don't worry. I'll be fixing you every time."

A flicker of hope.

And Matt smiled.

He never did.

He never did.

FIN.

A/N: Did that go beyond your mush-tolerance? I wasn't sure if I made that too… over-the-top or something. It's been a pretty long time since I've read or written Mello x Matt so I don't know if I've become rusty on the characterization. Auuuugh. And this was an over-used plot, too. Damn. Anyway, happy holidays again!

PS: I rushed this out before New Year's so you might be spotting some errors (if you do, would it trouble you much to point them out?). I'll probably have this beta'd after (I hope.)