May 15, 2009

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Sound. Sound is good. It means you're still alive.

You try moving parts of your body--arms, legs, fingers, eyelids.... You can't.

Sound is even better now, considering that's all you have.

"...is he awake?"

"If he is, we won't know. He's mummified in bandages, after all."

"I can see that."

Sound is especially good. You've never been one for eavesdropping, but you don't have much choice right now. And 'mummified' or not, your hearing's not impaired.

"...how are his wounds healing?"

"Better than expected, even with his genetics."

"What you and the others did was horrible, you realize. Research or not, we're going to have to pull you up before Admin and the Board."

"We needed him to think that he was in a desperate situation."

"You were starving him to death. That would have been desperate even if he did know what was going on."

"It worked."

"...you're sick."

Oh yes, sound was good. And enlightening. Perhaps you should make a point of listening to people and objects and scenery more?

"...well, I guess I need to ask. How long until he can be released?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure. Physically, he should be fine within a week. Mentally, though? I don't think it would be a good idea to place him among everyone else until we've completed his psych analysis. That even with the deterioration of his body he was able to hold out for so long...."

"According to the sensors in the room, he crashed all at once. That can't be healthy."

"No, not really. It was like his body was drawing on hidden reserves to keep him going normally when his normal supply of energy ran out, and then when that ran out...."

"Like a battery, hm? It will keep a device working until it's depleted, and then just suddenly cut out and you have to replace it."

"Or, in this case, recharge it. Well... repair first and then recharge. That wasn't just a battery using up its store of power--that was a power plant getting struck by lightning and cutting all power to a city after a huge power surge."

"A power surge that destroyed the entire building."

By now, you can differentiate between two voices--a male and a female. That's good, isn't it? You're getting all your senses and everything back. The male's voice is vaguely familiar. The woman's, however, is foreign enough to have an accent.

"True enough. I guess we just forgot what type of person we were dealing with."

The man's voice is light and easy... and something inside you says dangerous.

"And that's what's going to get you killed one day."

"You'll cry when that happens."

"I'll get everyone together and throw a party."

On the other hand, the woman's is dry and sarcastic. You wonder if that's really her personality, and decide, no, it's not. At the very least, she seems genuinely worried about you, if not the man.

"Ouch. You wound me."

"Keep it up and I will. Now... anything we can do for him to speed this up?"

"Nothing, really. We've exhausted all resources that can be used safely, and then some that can only be used unsafely. We even used methods we normally wouldn't to the point where using them anymore would cause irreparable damage instead of helping the healing process. We can only wait now."

"Hm."

"I have another patient to go see, and then I have to get back to my team. You know the way out?"

"I helped to design this part of the building, so of course I'm going to get lost in it."

"Just checking. See you at dinner."

"Get out of here."

Sarcastic, yes, but she doesn't seem overly cruel, even to the other man. That, you decide, is a good thing. But she's silent now, which isn't a good thing, and you try to move, try to get her to talk.

Somehow, it works.

"Oi. I don't know if you're awake or not, and if you're not I'll feel really stupid talking to myself, so you better be. And I'll only say this once, so if you're not awake then you probably won't trust us, but he's an idiot, anyways, for doing this.

"You're currently in the hospital wing of an institution called AFSRAM. The building you were in was engulfed in a major inferno and you have first degree burns over ninety percent of your body. Considering that was an abandoned building, there were no other victims or casualties. The best part about all this? You caused the explosion. That's why you're here.

"All the details will be explained later because even if you're conscious you probably won't remember them if I tell you them now. What I will say is that you're safe with us (most of us), and that your mother has been informed of the situation. On behalf of AFSRAM's administration, welcome, good luck healing, and don't hate us too much. We're not the nicest people, but our priority is survival and moving forward, not being nice.

"And don't worry--you'll get used to this."

You seriously doubt that you will if the rest of these AFSRAM people are as mean as the woman seems to be or as casually negligent with people's lives as the man apparently is, but considering most of your thoughts during your imprisonment were regarding how little value your life had, maybe you'd be a good compliment to these people who don't seem to hold anyone's life at a value above worthless.

Then again, she had said that their focus was on survival. So maybe they weren't completely heartless? That's all you can hope for, right now. And at least mom knows what's going on--if these people were bad, she'd surely come and get you out of here. Right?

Right, you decide, because at least you know that she isn't heartless.

It only occurs to you later that the woman might have been lying about telling mom, but then you think, no, she wouldn't. She's not the type of person to lie and say things just to make people feel better--that much you can tell just from what you've heard. Somehow, and you don't know how, but somehow you know that. And even if you're useless at everything else, at least you know that your instinct has never led you wrong before, and you can only hope that same instinct won't lead you wrong now.

You can hear the woman's footsteps walking away, a door opening and closing. You wonder if these people are your kidnappers, or related to those kidnappers. From the sound of it, probably. But it seemed you were right, that it had been part of an experiment.

...what kind of experiment starves people to death?

Beep. Beep. Beep.

You ignore what she said about causing the explosion that landed you here and instead focus on getting back to sleep. The beeping of the monitor is annoying now, and there's nothing else to listen to, and therefore nothing else to do. Besides, both those movies you watched with your mom, and your mom herself always said that sleeping makes you heal faster.

You hope so--the bandages are starting to get itchy.

-

May 16, 2009

Trust isn't something you come by easily, or, not anymore. The strange woman you can't see because there are still bandages over your eyes cuts away the ones over your nose and mouth the next morning (you think it's the next morning, anyways).

"I know you're awake now," she tells you with a harsher edge to her words than before, "because I can see parts of your body twitching when I talk. By the way, I almost cut your mouth open." That would have been enough to make you flail in panic if not for the word 'almost' and the restraints still around your body. "I'm going to assume you heard what I said yesterday, and if not, you can deal with it and ask someone else. In the meantime, I'm going to try something that might earn us your trust."

You think that this is all some trick they're playing, but then you feel the bandages by your right ear being cut away, too, and then a long, thin piece of metal placed sideways, connecting your mouth and ear. You can feel something warm on your cheek, even through the bandages, and you realize that the woman is holding it in place. Then you feel something moving around your right hand, and just as suddenly you can move your fingers independently of each other.

"It's a phone. I'm going to put the number pad on the bed beside you. You can either tell me the numbers to dial or dial them yourself. Star, zero and pound are the bottom-most row, with 1, 2, and 3 going left to right above them, 4, 5, 6 left to right above those, and 7, 8, 9 left to right above those."

You try speaking a couple times, having to lick your lips and take a drink of water that the woman eventually hands you when you make no noise nor a move.

"A... alright," you finally manage, licking your lips again and beginning to dial, saying the numbers aloud to make sure that the woman will correct you if you make a mistake.

The phone starts ringing and you start hoping that, maybe, they won't just say that the line is disconnected (as you're expecting them to) and you can actually talk to who you want to talk to. It's another couple more rings, your hope fading with each one, before someone answers.

"Moshi moshi, Sawada Residence."

The sound of her voice makes you stop--that's definitely your mother, sweet and kind and as oblivious as ever, probably. It's both so surprising and so heartwarming that your throat closes and whatever small measure of speech you've recovered disappears on you.

"...hello? Is anyone there?"

You want to call out or say hi or even just sob, but it seems like every inch of your body has completely frozen up. After what you've been through, after what almost (nearly?) happened to you, it's hard to talk to her.

"If no one is there, I'm going to hang up now."

You try to chuckle and tell her that it makes no sense to talk to no one, even if she is just saying that she's going to hang up. But, though your body isn't still frozen and though you're mouthing the words you want to say, no sound is coming out.

The woman standing next to you gets impatient and grabs the phone, immediately starting up a conversation. "Sawada-san? It's Lal Mirch from AFSRAM. Your son, apparently, is too choked up to talk to you right now." Based on what you can hear in the woman's voice next and what you can hear from over the phone, your mother's apparently been reduced to the exact same state. "...since neither of you seem capable of talking right now, I'll let you get in touch later on, alright?" There's silence again before the woman agrees, "Yes, that's the correct phone number. You can call it any time. ... Yes, of course. Good night then, Sawada-san."

You can hear the woman hanging up the phone, and though you're sad and angry that you didn't get to speak, you also can't blame her--you wouldn't have been able to talk, anyways. You think she moves away, just a little to the right, and brings the phone and number pad with her.

"This phone will stay in this room, and whenever you feel the need to call your mother or anyone else you may, so long as you edit what you tell them."

It makes sense, but it doesn't mean you like it. "A-and what do..." you need to take a break and gather a breath, "do you mean by edit?" By the end you're straining and you break into coughs afterwards, but you think you can speak normally now. At least, you should be able to speak without gasping for breath.

"Simply that you can't tell them every single thing you do here."

"What can," another cough, but this one isn't nearly as bad. "What can and can't I tell them?"

"You're not a complete moron. Use your own discretion."

You think on that for a while, and eventually you decide that, probably, what you can't tell anyone will be obvious. Besides, what she's done by giving you a phone is a big sign of trust--though you can't trust them completely yet, at least you know that they -want- you to trust them. And if they do anything wrong, then you still have the phone to use, call for help or your mother or whoever.

The woman seems to have grown impatient with the silence, because she starts talking again.

"My name is Lal Mirch, Sawada Tsunayoshi. I know you probably want to know why you're here, but honestly, most of us wonder that exact same thing. Innocenti and Verde are complete bastards--at least Koenig has been looking after you."

"Um, I'm sorry... who?" You're grateful for her talking, though, as it distracts you from the tears that were threatening to spill over at the sound of your mother's voice.

"The three idiots who got you into this mess. But now that we've had a change to get a look at you, you're actually prime material to be here. I don't think Admin is going to let you go very easily. Actually, they'll probably put you in the accelerated program."

You would have blinked, if your eyes weren't still sealed shut under your bandages. "Then... this really is a school?"

"A school? Not a normal school, no, but it is an institution where you learn things, so in that sense, a little. Most of what you learn will be self-directed, based on what you choose as your Focus."

"Um... isn't that called a major?" To you, this is starting to sound more like a university program than anything.

The woman--Lal--takes a moment to consider it. "No, not really. A major is something you focus on in University and College, the major subject you're studying. A Focus is a little different."

"How?"

"Because," and by the sound of Lal's voice she's getting annoyed with all the questions, "a major is something you learn about, and then go on to study or research more, if the need arises. Here, you're given one thing to concentrate on, and most of the time, it's something that's never been looked at before. You do the initial research, you come up with the first (or, sometimes, second) theories, you're the one who is supposed to know the subject inside out and backwards. That's a Focus. Your Focus is yours entirely, unless you choose to bring other people into your research and experiments."

She definitely sounds angry at the end of her little speech, but it's given you a lot to think on. You start making some connections in your head, and, "Is what happened to me part of one of these Focus experiments?"

She's silent for a long while, and you think that maybe she's fallen asleep or left very, very silently. You're about to try to fall asleep yourself when she chuckles and finally answers. "You've got some patience there, kid. Good. And, as far as we can tell, yes, it was part of an experiment. But Innocenti's a freak, Koenig's really only here to make sure you don't die, and Verde's more paranoid than your average mad scientist."

"Um... translation?"

"We don't want to ask Innocenti because he won't give us a straight answer, Koenig won't answer at all, and Verde will just freak out on whoever is asking and, in the end, not say anything, either. So, we THINK it's part of a Focus experiment, but with those three you never know."

"Then... why me?"

"Didn't I just say I don't know what they're up to?! How the hell would I know why they chose you out of everyone else?!"

You wince--Lal sounded really angry, that time.

You think you hear her stand up, and then you know she's moving towards the door. "I'll go see if one of them is around. Maybe they'll speak to you, if not the rest of us." She moves off, mumbling things too low for you to hear, but you can bet that they're curses and complaints.

You're not sure how long it's going to take for her to get back, so you decide to give in to your body's demands and fall asleep again. At least now, you think, you can breath properly.

-

17th Day of May, 2009

Or... that's what the calendar says, anyways.

My writing is still a bit wobbly, but I've only had my bandages off my hands since yesterday morning. Lal and Verde say that it's a good idea to write a journal, to get back full movement of my hand.

Oh! Um... I know you're just a book, but I guess I should explain what's going on, if only so that I can remember how... whatever is going to happen, happened, if I ever need to look back on it. I can't imagine why I'd need to remember, but it might be useful sometime or other, right?

First of all, I was in that... room... for just over three weeks, so my dates in that old journal were wrong. On the other hand, said journal has apparently been incinerated, which means I don't have to worry about people reading what I've written. Of course, the only reason I'd be worried is because I think it was fairly strange and all. I think that I think it was.

I've now been in this hospital for just over two weeks. The first week I was unconscious and mummified, and this last week I've been conscious and mostly mummified. I like being able to move my hands again--I don't mind the rest of me being wrapped up in bandages and unable to move, but my hands are a must. Anyways, when I first woke up Lal and Innocenti were talking, though neither realized I was awake then. I haven't seen Innocenti since, but another doctor-person, Verde has been around and seems to know Lal really well. Both of them have been back every day since to visit.

The two of them are... um, strange. And short. Look-like-babies short. Lal Mirch has got blue hair and burns on her cheeks and wears really weird outfits and really advanced technology. She reminds me of some kind of Spartan Warrior or a general in an army or something... or maybe an assasin? Someone who's been trained to kill and knows how to train other people to kill. At the same time, she's actually not too bad. Cruel and cold and sarcastic, but beneath all that, she really seems to care about people. Not Verde, though, and apparently not me so much, but... people. I guess.

Verde is... weirder than Lal. She's a warrior, and scary, but she's still somewhat normal. Verde? Is like someone has decided to mix together every 'mad scientist' stereotype, make them even more super-paranoid than the 'normal' super-paranoid (except for around me and Lal and his "teammates", apparently), and then shrink them into a body about a foot tall when standing. He even walks around wearing a lab coat with burns and holes (from acids, I hope) and stains that I -really- don't want to know where they come from. He really is a scientist, too, but I'm glad he's not a doctor. Er, he is, but of some... science... stuff. He's not the one taking care of me.

The actual medical doctor, who knows about malnutrition and broken bones and first-degree burns and whatever else I was brought into the hospital "suffering from" (they seem to forget I was unconscious and not suffering at all) is named Koenig. I'm not one hundred percent sure, but his accent makes me think of someone from a Northern European country, although he looks completely Japanese. He's one of Verde's co-workers and "teammates" (for a game?), but at least he seems to be a bit more sane than the much, much, MUCH smaller doctor.

Apparently, it's the last of these "teammates" of Verde's that I have to thank for my situation. Innocenti (with help from someone named 'Grell', someone who Lal doesn't think much of) is another impossibly tall doctor and is also the one behind not only kidnapping me, but coming up with the 'plan' for which he 'had' to kidnap me in the first place. What this plan is, why he felt the need to kidnap me and get this 'Grell' involved in it, and why it had to be me of all people are questions that I have asked and have yet to get an answer to.

Lal, in fact, said that I should be grateful that I hadn't been too badly injured during the actual kidnapping, and at least I still have all my limbs, right? And Verde said something about being grateful that it was kidnapping and not, oh, lure-by-hostage or something.

Between the two short evil ones and the two tall evil ones, I'm not sure if this really will be my last journal entry.

-

May 17, 2009

"So, Duke," Innocenti began, sitting down in a plush chair at the foot of Tsuna's hospital bed, "tell me how you feel."

Tsuna eyed him warily. "My name is Tsuna, not Duke, and you're not a psychologist."

Innocenti pushed glasses that he really didn't need further up his nose with his middle finger, eyes still trained on a clipboard that had appeared on his lap. "In fact, I do have training in psychology. I just don't use it that often."

"Do you?" Tsuna blinked now, surprised--from his first time meeting the man (when he had awoken in the now nonexistent room) and the second time (two days after first meeting Lal and Verde), Innocenti had never seemed the most reliable man. Or, for that matter, entirely sane.

Innocenti nodded his head just enough for Tsuna to note that he had nodded. "I do. Parapsychology."

Tsuna stared, quite openly (and rudely). "I'M NOT A GHOST."

"You could have been!"

No, Tsuna quickly decided, this meeting or testing session or whatever it was? Was not going to end well. "But I'm NOT, and you're not a REAL psychologist."

"Parapsychologists are real psychologists," Innocenti mused, eyes still on his clipboard. "We just deal with not-always-real-or-solid beings."

At this point, Tsuna was wondering if the other 'doctor' didn't need a psychologist himself. Maybe a therapist and a shrink and one of those nice, white, padded rooms, too.

"So, back to my questions. How do you feel?" Tsuna didn't answer. Innocenti tsked. "Really, try and be cooperative. You were before."

The glare Tsuna tried to shoot his way looked more like a pout. "I didn't mean to cooperate before!"

"So you say," Innocenti brushed off his comment and rage like it was a not-very-annoying fly. "Then think of it this way: the faster you answer, the sooner we're done."

"...fine."

"So? How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good," Tsuna admitted, flexing his hands and fingers. "I think I've got most of my control over my hands back."

"Excellent. And the rest of your body?"

"Almost as good as before."

Innocenti frowned. "That, unfortunately for you, isn't good. 'As good as before' is an absolutely horrible value, and even ignoring all the mental and emotional issues you have, you're completely pathetic. We'll need to get you up to at least one thousand percent better than you were before in all aspects of life if this experiment is to succeed."

It took a couple minutes for that to sink in. "...WHAT?!"

"Oh, it's easy enough to understand," and the smile on Innocenti's face really wasn't reassuring. "We're just going to train you everyday until you'll be a perfect combination of Herakles's strength, Athena's wisdom and cunning, Artemis' speed, Theseus and Jason's fighting abilities, and, hm, Sigyn's emotional strength and loyalty. How does that sound to you?"

Tsuna fidgeted. "Probably a lot better if I knew who those people were."

In the next second, Tsuna had now decided that Innocenti was a predator, and one that could probably scare all other predators in existence into extinction. That grin didn't belong anywhere but on the face of a blood-thirsty creature on the hunt. "Oh, you'll know them soon enough. You just need to read. A lot."

Tsuna wasn't sure if he should be relieved or worried that he'd have to read a lot. On one hand, he was bored in the hospital. On the other, he was practically a perfect candidate for ADHD.

"So, back to the assesment. How about emotionally? And be perfectly honest."

Tsuna thought that over. Emotionally? Well... "First of all, I want to strangle you," he began with a careless tone, allowing anger and frustration to overrule common sense and courtesy. "And whoever this 'Grell' is... and Koenig and Verde for helping you. And Lal for not helping me. And myself, for being so pathetic. And my dad, for leaving. And pretty much everyone in Namimori for looking down on me and ridiculing me. And the gods and goddesses or Fates or Destiny or whoever or whatever made me like this, put me in these positions." Tsuna ran through everything in his head, paused. "...and dad again, but this time for my name (because the number of jokes people make about it is... well, there's a lot of jokes). Um... not mom, obviously. Well, maybe a little bit--she is, apparently, fine with all this. Uh... besides that, I feel a little tired. Not quite bone-aching, about to collapse tired, but more 'when is this going to end' tired. I'm also horribly bored, hate your plan for me (whatever it is) and want to say 'screw you' and walk out of here, but can't for obvious reasons."

He gestured to the casts and fibreglass casts and four inch thick bandages wrapped around every possible part of his body excepting his head, arms and hands.

Innocenti nodded, making notes on his clipboard. "Interesting. How do you feel now, after telling me that?"

Tsuna cocked his head. "Seriously?"

"Yes."

"...now it's more just wanting to strangle you. Everyone else can wait."

"Very interesting. Do you think it's just because I'm sitting here and the easiest to reach, or because I'm genuinely annoying and aggravating to you?"

A considering pause. "Probably both, I'd say."

"And now?"

"...yep, now it's strangling just you, and just because you're annoying."

"Well, unfortunately for you, you are my project, Duke," Innocenti was grinning eerily again, "and so you shall have to put up with my being annoying for a while yet. Then again, I shall be required to put up with your bumbling and idiocy for the same amount of time, so I suppose we shall just have to get along. We're going to be GOOD friends!"

Tsuna seriously doubted that.