A/N: Written for the splendid Ellianmeir for the dn_contest Secret Santa fic exchange. Prompt: L/Light, holiday themed, not too depressing (lol at me)

Rating: PGish

Summary: Light meets his ever present stalker at a New Year's festival. The bells bid farewell to the past year, but the question lingers: which will be the one to claim the new tomorrow? L/Light


108 Bells


There was more than one holiday in the world that Light felt exceedingly unnecessary, unbeneficial and even unhealthy for society. Any original sentiment or moral teachings that these special days might have once cherished had long since diluted into nothing more than an excuse to slap gaudy decorations in the windows and worship corporate Japan. If people chose to sacrifice too much money to the gods of commercialism and overpriced merchandise in a trite effort to impress one another, he supposed that was their own unfortunate decision to make. Still, the thought of artificial jubilation gave him a sinking sigh an a churn in his gut, knowing that this was humanity progressively walking the wrong road, that this was the essence of even the sinless rotting world, and it would only be more difficult to pull them back into the right direction.

But New Year's was different. That was a day that people around the globe could understand and respect, even if it came in a flurry of flashy ribbons and sweetened alcohol. No one was ignorant, no one didn't know how to make it personal. The year's end concluded the old, concluded the mistakes and the accomplishments of the past. It was a time for introspection, for self-promises to rectify the things that were wrong. A time to put yesterday behind one's self and gaze with wide eyes to the new, and celebrate the tomorrow that would finally come.

It was a day that belonged to Kira, the savior, a New Year's resolution and Light's brilliant gift to humanity.

And no one, Light thought as he twirled his ballpoint pen expertly through his slender fingers (an acquired talent of any good student), could take Kira away. Not even - especially not - L.

But to Light's most festive dismay, living in a household with very traditional parents during the biggest holiday in Japan, he unfortunately had little time to celebrate in his own vigilante way. Instead, he and Sayu were barked orders to do various household errands by their mother, Sachiko. While dreaming of a world of justice and a very dead arch-enemy, Light was forced to stir the ozōni soup and roll the sushi as Sayu cleaned (when Sachiko was particularly stressed, the young girl wasn't allowed to hold so much as a spoon let alone help with the cooking). And to accompany their chores, they listened to their dear mother stress about forgetting to send holiday cards to some family acquaintance who Light only vaguely remembered from a good decade ago.

"Light, dear, we'll need more sashimi for your father," she said forced ignorance and motivation both as she stirred the soba noodles. "I'm sure he'll be starving after he gets home from work."

Of course, it was empty hope, and not even Sayu really convinced herself of otherwise. Light knew that Soichiro would likely be at his office's bonenkai party for awhile and then - well, more realistically, he would only make an obligatory appearance before going back to L. It was unfortunate irony, Light thought, that his father wouldn't come back to celebrate the year's end because there was nothing he believed he should be rejoicing over with Kira still on the loose, but at the same time Light would expect nothing less of him. It didn't even depress him, not really, that his father wouldn't sleep well until Kira was executed and buried. Soichiro just didn't understand yet.

Maybe in the new year, that would change.

As the afternoon wore on, Light and Sayu both pretended not to notice as their mother pretended she wasn't near tears when the ominous ring of the phone sounded meaning that he couldn't make it off, too much needed to be done. Light bit his tongue to resist some little barb to her about how L must be heartless to work Soichiro so late but resisted - in the end, he knew that Kira could make everyone hate L and that thought was satisfactory enough.

After being forced to watch Hideki Ryuuga perform some sugary pop song on the New Year's television special, Light excused himself. But just as he thought he could escape to his room for the night and finally have some time to himself, or at least as much as 'himself' meant when he was always shadowed by a laughing god of death, Sachiko announced that they were going to Meiji shrine as a family, and Soichiro said he would meet them there as soon as he could because his boss had allotted him a bit of time. Light held back a sigh and reminded himself that he needed to be excited like he always was to go the shrines and appear normal. Last year it had seemed much more important to pay his respects and pray - his prayers had already been answered and the rest was up to him.

Clothed in his blue dress kimono that Sachiko insisted that he wear and with Sayu giggling and tugging his arm (the moment she saw a classmate she'd stop being silly and stand up straight and regal in her own pink kimono), they made their way to the shrine. It wasn't even midnight yet but the place was already packed with people casting their coins and wishes for the new year. It'd take a miracle to even get to halfway to the altar, so the pair of siblings opted instead to enjoy the festivities around the shrine that lit up the moonless night with music, lights and life.

"Light, what will you wish for?" Sayu asked as she toyed with the good-luck talisman she bought in her small hands. "You're making a wish, right?"

"Sure, I guess," Light answered nonchalantly, steering her by the shoulder away from a fresh splash of condensed visitors and toward the bridge, lit in the night by a cascade of orange lights. "I'll wish for world peace or something."

Sayu stuck out her tongue. "C'mon, be serious! I'm going to wish for Hideki Ryuuga!"

Light rolled his eyes. "You can't wish for a pop star. Besides, if you brought him home, Mom would ground you and take him for herself."

"I'm younger and prettier than she is." She flashed a mischievous grin. "And I'll just hide him in your room. Mom never checks that!"

"Maybe you should try being clean for once and she'll go in yours less," Light reprimanded, but with a smile. "A little more organization wouldn't kill you, Sayu. And anyway, shouldn't you ask me before you offer sappy idiots my bed?"

The girl extended her arms upward to raise her charm into the air, catching it against a star and exhaling a humorous little huff. "Well, it's not like we'd do it on your bed. That'd be my bed, so then I could smell him later."

A vein in Light's forehead twitched. "Sayu! You can't say that in front of me! For heaven's sake, I'm your older brother!"

Sayu erupted into giggles, and took Light's hand again to tug him toward another nearby vendor selling more decorative charms that never ceased to catch her bright eyes. "I wouldn't mind if you told me about your sex life, brother!"

Light scowled. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just imply, even in joke, that you have a sex life." Seriously. Light knew he wasn't prone to killing for personal reasons, but if his little sister got mixed up with some lowlife, divine justice might just be a necessity. "And as for me, why don't you believe that I'm simply focusing on my studies, like you really could afford to?"

"Hey! What do you mean by that?"

"I mean-" Suddenly, Light blanched. There, standing beside a vendor selling sweet mochi cakes and hot soba noodles with nori, dressed as usual in baggy blue jeans and a wrinkled white shirt and staring, staring at him with those dark, widened eyes was none other than- "Ryuuga."

Sayu snorted. "Oh, you really think I'm going to fall for that?"

But Light hardly heard her. At meeting his eyes and calling his name, L stalked forward with his back so hunched must surely be indicative of a terrible case of scoliosis, but with his thin lips pulled up ever so slightly into an innocent smirk it was clear that his wretched posture generated no discomfort or at least nothing that could outweigh his newfound wicked delight. Of course he was happy, Light thought as he quickly replaced his glower with the sweetest smile he could conjure. He was, after all, L's favorite friend - the kind of friend who you watched shower via hidden video cameras while searching for a reason to execute him.

"Hello, Light-kun," the undercover detective greeted pleasantly with his hands stuffed in his pockets. "Happy New Year's Eve."

"Happy New Year's," Light retorted, matching the friendly tone and then some. "Sayu... this is Hideki Ryuuga, my good friend from university."

Sayu blinked, mouth agape, and turned from teen to teen(?) as though trying to ascertain whether or not this was some joke on her. "Hideki Ryuuga? You weren't kidding? Uh, good to meet you!"

"Good to meet you," L answered pleasantly. "Light-kun, is this your little sister?"

Light again resisted a piercing glare. Obviously the bastard knew who his sister was, who his mother was, probably even who his great aunt was right down to the exact kanji they used to spell their names. "Yes, that's right."

"She's pretty, like her older brother," he said with a dopey smile. "I bet she's just as popular with the boys as he is."

"..Pardon?"

Sayu blushed and laughed, apparently the implications about her big brother lost in favor of accepting a compliment. "Aw, you're so sweet, Ryuuga!"

"Yes," L agreed. "And speaking of sweets-" Here, something only that creepy sonuvabitch would do when he was out in public supposedly trying to act normal, he pulled a crimson-wrapped lollipop from his pocket and held it out in front of the girl's face. "Would you like one?"

When Sayu extended her hand, Light batted it away. This girl clearly had no survival instinct. "Sayu, go find Mom, okay? Dad should be here too by now, so tell them I'll be along soon."

"Fine, fine!" Sayu stuck her tongue out. "I'll meet them after I go get my fortune. But be sure to be back before the tsuri-gane!"

When she had scampered off into the busy crowd, Light turned back to face his nemesis as though drawn by some magnetic force but held back the leer he felt. L, however, didn't bother to maintain similar etiquette-induced restraint and he made an obvious show of chewing his thumbnail while his dark eyes bugged out at his suspect. His overall appearance was socially retarded to say the least, making him look either like a crack addict or a clueless oversized child to the bystander, but the icy concentration burning in L's black eyes wasn't lost to Light. This was no amateur, but a man who planned every step he took meticulously as he reached out to seize his objective.

Light leaned back against the bridge, resting both elbows against the wooden plank railing. He wasn't going to be fooled again like he had been at the To-Oh University entrance ceremony where he had actually believed at first that Ryuuga was a student who coincidentally sat right next to him. No, there were no more coincidences between L and Kira, the rest was a game of strategy. And if L wanted to openly investigate Light, that was more than fine. After all, Light wanted to investigate him, too.

Finally, Light broke the silence. "So, you took the night off of work to come here? That's nice."

The detective peeled the wrapper off of the rejected candy and lapped it twice with his tongue before inserting it into his mouth. He spoke through it, gurgling his words carelessly. "I thought I'd spend some time with my friend, since it is New Year's. Plus, as you're my prime suspect in the Kira case, I'm actually working by being with you. Convenient, isn't it?"

"Yes. Very... convenient," Light smiled through gritted teeth. Go on, asshole, watch me attend a normal holiday festival with my family like any Japanese teenager would do.

L made a loud slurping sound as he popped the candy out of his mouth and licked his lips with lazy deliberation as though to say, Oh, I will.

"I was serious, you know," his gangly stalker commented offhandedly. "Light-kun does look quite charming in that kimono. I agree with Sayu, in fact. It is strange that you don't have a girlfriend."

Light feigned discomfort. "You were listening? What, have you been following me this whole time?"

"Hmm.. Define 'whole time'."

The teen sighed and crossed his arms, making a show of taking this maturely. "Well, my father can attest to my response, which is that I'd rather focus on my schoolwork right now."

"But now it's winter break," L pointed out. "Does that mean, by your standards, you can go on a date?"

The look on L's face made Light raise an eyebrow. "Does the fact that I don't have a girlfriend somehow raise your suspicion that I'm Kira?" Because if you're going to complain about that, I have at least twenty-five for the choosing.

"Oh, no. I was merely wondering if I'd get slapped if I made any moves on you tonight."

Twitch, twitch.

That was unexpected.

L looked as smug as a cat with a struggling mouse trapped in its claws. "Don't be so serious, Light-kun. I'm only teasing you."

"Right..." Cue sunny laughter and a happy face. "I guess I just haven't gotten to know you well enough to catch your sense of humor, Ryuuga! I know you're busy with the case, but I hope we'll have time to play tennis again or something soon."

The detective licked at the sucker, gazing thoughtfully at his suspect. "I'd like that too, Light-kun."

L's tone was so soft, almost gentle, and Light found himself silenced for a moment as he tried, again, to figure out L and, again, failed. L being here tonight was undoubtedly him playing some kind of angle, because if there were two things that Light knew for certain, it was that a) there was more to L than initially met the eye and b) L relished in that fact and took full advantage of it. Light knew that there was nothing that could give him away as Kira tonight unless he let something accidentally slip (which he wouldn't) or L had sent someone to tear apart his room and found the Death Note before the incendiary device he hooked up in his desk went off, which was unlikely because L wouldn't need to show up here in person.

Light being here to play the role of a good son and citizen involved in the neighborhood was believable. L being here to play the role of college buddy and watch Light cast coins at the steps of a Buddhist shrine wasn't. Light knew that, and he knew that L knew that, too. So unless L was here because he knew Light would look too far into it and merely wanted to toy with his head-

No. Light shook his head. No, that contradictory logic was useless, when he knew perfectly well that he was (probably) safe for the moment. Why did this man make his mind go around in circles? It was aggravating. But it was also...

Exhilarating.

The silence was too long, and it was his turn to speak, so Light took a deep breath to minimize any visible signs of stress and casually asked, "Are you going to make a New Year's wish, Ryuuga?"

"No," L responded without hesitation.

He raised an eyebrow. "You sure? It's a sacred day, and there's no need to waste the opportunity. What do you have to lose?"

L's voice was detached, and had Light known for a fact how fastidiously he obsessed over every word Light spoke, he might have thought that he was completely disinterested. Holding the stick of his lollipop delicately with his thumb and forefinger, he studied the depleting candy. "I am not religious and I am not superstitious. I wouldn't waste my time on prayer nor wishes. I'd rather solve my problems on my own." He glanced up at Light. "But you're like me, aren't you?"

"Yes, I suppose I am," Light admitted. "I'm also more comfortable relying on myself. Yet, what about the things that aren't in your control?"

"That's easy," L punctuated, and the ferocity of his words contrasted the smile he wore. "Take control."

Light's first reaction was a frown, which he kept as he pondered L's pointed way of directing the conversation into similarities to the alleged Kira persona that L had (albeit accurately enough) constructed of Kira. Still, as L let the words flow easily out of his mouth, Light recognized that they were also true for him. Ryuk snickered behind him, and the eerie cackle spoke aloud the truth that Light knew: this was what made L so dangerous.

The next words were chosen carefully. "I understand that you have all the intelligence and determination in the world, Ryuuga. But it's a tradition designed to give the masses hope, and that hope is more important than the results, wouldn't you say? Many people function better when they believe that the control they don't have is in the hands of a force that will take care of them."

"Something to believe in.." L drawled in repeat. "Like Kira?"

The intensity was burning too harshly in L's black eyes to be anything but completely grim despite the natural boredom in his tone, so Light answered fairly. "I wouldn't be surprised if some of these people are wishing for Kira. Perhaps some of them are more frightened and wish he would go away, too. But that's how humans are."

L nodded with the slightest tip of his chin. "Yes, that's true, isn't it. Then, what will you pray for in the new year, Light-kun?"

"Health and fortune to those I care about," Light answered instantly. And to those with pure hearts - let the diseased make room for the righteous, that they might not spread their infections any longer. "Won't you wish for the same thing? Or..." He softened his voice but sharpened his gaze. "Is there no one you care about?"

The detective tilted his head to the side, catching the glow of the golden lights strung across the rooftops in his thick raven hair. He slipped the lollipop out of his mouth, now just a small lump of red sugar on the end of a stick and knit his brows at it. "For someone like me, Light-kun, there is no correlation between affection and hoping for fortunes. Perhaps it sounds cruel, but it's not just logical obstinacy that drives me. I'm afraid that relying on any force outside of my control or manipulation would be a death wish."

Despite the moving crowd of visitors that made their way along the pathways, it seemed that at the moment they were the only two people there – or at least the only two that mattered. "Are you happy being what you are, Ryuuga?"

L snapped his head up and took a heavy step forward, which lead Light to instinctively take a step backwards, only to back himself into the thick wooden pillar of the bridge. Almost tenderly, L curled his fingers around Light's wrist and pressed it against the fabric of the kimono against his chest, and brought his face close, careless to who might be watching.

"We don't want to live to see the new year because we want to be happy."

"What.."

"We never want to be satisfied. If we were, what would be have left to become?" L's back straightened, vertebrae by vertebrae, until he was standing at Light's height. "So what we really want doesn't come in wishes, does it, Light?"

Light spoke, almost entranced by the fact that his heart was beating with his would-be executioner and will-be executed just inches away from his face, and he realized as the words came out on their own accord that 'we' was something only they would ever understand. "What we want is to live with such vigor until the nothingness doesn't come until we're dead."

L's lashes lowered without covering his eyes, tilting his head and then - the widened as his fingers brushed against the silver watch tightened against the wrist they held. "It'll be midnight," he announced.

"The tsuri-gane will ring," Light murmured. "The bells ring to end the year at midnight. The Buddhists say it rings once for every sin of man."

"And how many sins do we have?" L asked in his low drawl that was anything but gentle despite its velvet soft tone, and his eyes bore straight through Light's skull as though he were to pick apart the teen's brain and count them one by one.

"One hundred and eight," Light said. Tonight, I'll write a criminal's name for each one. "And after they ring-" And after they're dead- "-mankind is relieved of those sins."

"And then what?" And what when you're done, Kira?

Light raised his head. "And then, a new tomorrow begins."

Their heads came together with lips that tasted of holiday celebration as the first bell began its great, keening dirge. It was funny - it must have been funny, at least to Ryuk laughing behind them, but the kissed marked a pledge of a new world to come. A new year soon that only one - or maybe neither - would be allowed to see. That was part of the promise, too.

-fin


Author's Notes:

1. As Light said, the number 108 is sacred to Japanese Buddhism, because they represent the sins/trials of humanity. Interestingly enough, this is why the author of Death Note, Ohba, chose to make the manga 108 chapters long. I think that's cool, since at the surface Death Note screams of Christian metaphors (even to the point of caricature imo), but it's possible that the very core of it was intended to at least thematically resemble Buddhist/Shinto instead.

2. I think I've had a slight obsession with Japanese festival kissing since I read Dost Thou Know (like, my first yaoi manga, hooo boy) years ago. XD Apologies if it feels out of place or something.

3. Happy holidays, everyone! :) Hope you're all doing well, and are sufficiently prepared for 2009!

Thanks for reading! -Serria