Chapter 18

Cloud didn't stay long after they returned from Nibelheim. In fact, as soon the children had finally been ferried to bed, he left, speeding off into the night and the curtain of heavy rain that filled the air with the sounds of yet another storm. Tifa didn't mind, honestly. She was still a little numb from their time on the water tower, while simultaneously exhilarated.

When she had climbed onto Fenrir behind Cloud to begin their journey back to their new home, she leaned forward this time to anchor herself to the bike by embracing him from behind. Every other time, she had leaned back and held onto the seat – immensely uncomfortable and not supported in the least. This time, though, she held on to his warm, solid, broad back silently, enjoying the feel of his muscles against her breasts as they guided the monster of a vehicle up mountains and through serpentine roadways. She enjoyed the warmth of their shared body heat and shamelessly took pleasure in the feel of him between her thighs and every bump that created friction against him; knowing that they now shared the same scent of exhaust and dust.

She had washed all of that off of her however, but she could still smell him clearly from her memories. Tifa shivered at the memory and stared out of her window, brushing her hair absently, and humming. Her musical tones were nearly drowned out by the heavy rain beating against the house in a rolling din.

Despite the rain, the air was warm and thick, and she stood at her window barefoot wearing nothing but a camisole and panties. Even still, she contemplated completely disrobing and running out into the street to embrace the rain.

Random thoughts and ideas had begun to suddenly tumble into her mind when she came home; whimsical things that normally the sensible Tifa wouldn't even have considered. There was always something to do, something to be serious about, but now… there was a liberated high that came with the sudden honest freedom after years of suppression.

She wanted to dance in the rain. She wanted to take home that dog at the shelter. She wanted to sing as loudly as she could from her rooftop while knitting. Why, she wanted to learn how to knit as well. She wanted to buy herself a bicycle and have races with the neighborhood children. She wanted to cook with everything in her cupboards at once and eat everything. She wanted to do handstands and spin until she fell.

More thoughts like these continued to pop up as she set down her brush on the window sill and focused her contemplation on relocating. Perhaps… perhaps Barret was right. Maybe she should leave Edge and the city. Maybe go to Corel… or maybe, see what else of the world was left to see. But for now, she was home, and she was content.

Her children were safe and warm in their beds, sleeping peacefully, in a house full of the Planet's heroes. Barret snored loudly in the den, while Yuffie exhaled in puffs on the bar top. Cid slept in a corner with a burned out cigarette dangling from his lips, and his harpoon resting against his shoulders in the bar. Cait Sith was deactivated in the children's room, the cat tucked under Marlene's arms and the robot it rode on sitting at the end of Denzel's bed. All was quiet in the house besides Barret's snoring and the pounding rain, and it nearly deafened her.

"I'm home." She whispered against the glass, leaning her forehead against its smooth, cool surface. All around her was gray, but through the world of gray came a single, bright yellow light – coming fast down the street.

Fenrir's growl reached her ears through the quiet and grew steadily louder as it approached, before faltering as its rider cut the engine and wheeled it into the garage next to the Seventh Heaven.

So, Cloud was home. It somewhat surprised her, and she wondered with a half-smile if Barret was going to give him the hell that he had promised after giving Tifa her own. Tifa crossed her arms in front of her and shifted her weight onto a leg as she listened as he came in, wondering how he managed to do so, so quietly. Her ears strained to hear his boots familiar thumping over the wooden floorboards, pausing at the base of the stairs before creeping up slowly and stopping outside of her door.

Tifa closed her eyes and remembered how many nights she had listened to his pause on the other side of that door, and how she always wished that he would come in and whisper his love for her. Oh, how things change when emotions are made known. She no longer felt that aching, twist of longing when he paused there, wondering what he was thinking. Now, she merely opened her eyes again and turned her attention back towards the rain with a smile, relieved that she had already said her piece and that it was all up to him now. She would no longer think of ways to display her affection for him without letting him catch onto her feelings. It was strange, really. It was just plain strange.

She half turned with a smile as her door opened soundlessly to partially reveal Cloud Strife standing in her doorway, mostly hidden in the shadows. From the sounds his leather armor and boots were making, he was very wet, and the puddle forming at his feet only grew the longer he stood there. He was positively soaked, but as he stood there, staring at her, he raised his hand out towards Tifa as if presenting something.

In his hand something glinted in the dim light coming from the street lamps outside. He walked towards her slowly, his boots squelching with each step, with his hand out stretched. It was an almost otherworldly, horrific motion because of the darkness and his odd movements, but Tifa was intrigued, feeling no fear or apprehension from his late night appearance. It was a ring. It was the wolf ring she had lost in Aeris's church.

Tifa's eyes widened in surprise and a hand flew to her chest, skimming the ring already hanging from her necklace. "Cloud," she breathed, "Where did you find that?" Dimly, she remembered that she wasn't quite dressed properly as she unconsciously took a step forward, but it wasn't as if he hadn't seen her in less.

The blonde man smirked and held the ring between his index finger and thumb, looking at her with a humorous intent, before taking another step towards her and grabbing her hand. Without another word, he slid it easily back onto her finger, his cold, wet hand continuing to hold her warm one.

He had put it on her wrong hand however, and without thinking, she brought her other hand to theirs to remedy the problem, but he wouldn't let go. "I wear it on my right hand, Cloud."

"I know."

She looked up at him with questioning eyes and wondered what he was getting at.

"Cloud… I don't know what you're thinking right now… but I'm not finding it funny." Tifa looked back at their hands in front of them and hoped to whoever was listening that he hadn't suddenly developed some cruel sense of humor.

"Thank you, for finding the ring. I tried my best, but… you must have better eyes than me."

His face slowly fell as his gaze scanned her face, and he sighed and closed his eyes with disappointment. He used her hand to pull her forward and gripped both of his hands on her bare shoulders. His hands were becoming warmer and felt hot to her skin. His grip eventually relaxed and weighed heavily on her shoulders as he hung his head in resignation.

"Tifa…I…" Cloud paused, his shoulders heaving as he inhaled deeply. Tifa's nerves jumped at the sound of her childhood friend stepping nearer, and her skin rose with gooseflesh as he pressed his head against her shoulder. His soft spikes were crushed as he slowly shook his head, bringing his forehead up to rest on the top of her shoulder, inhaling deeply again, tickling her neck.

"You smell good."

Tifa's breath left her in a rush and she closed her eyes painfully, feeling that too familiar feeling again. Damn, would it ever go away? Just when she thought that he might be sincere with her and say something she had been waiting to hear for years, he skirted the subject. She clenched her teeth as she caught herself, upset that she was still expecting him to be and do something she wanted. She brought her hand up to push him away, but stopped as he began again.

"You won't leave me, Teef… you… won't leave me." Tifa, stunned and confused, slowly lowered her hand with her eyes wide and unfocused. "I've been so afraid that you would leave me alone; that there would be nothing that I could do to keep you."

Cloud was having difficulty forming his words, opening his mouth then closing it with a shake of his head. "You… are not weak… you're a much stronger person than I could ever be. Even though I promised to save you, I've realized that you don't need it." Even though his trouble was evident, so was the decreasing weight of each word he spoke.

"You've endured so much, and yet… when the rest of the world is frowning, you have a smile on your face… your actions… your… your… you're simply amazing, Teef. Simply amazing." He chuckled mirthlessly, as he finally raised his head to meet her searching eyes, knowing that his words were making little sense; his thoughts in a jumble. He too had so much he wished to tell her, but unlike her, he simply didn't know how he wanted to say it, regardless of bravery or lucidness. He started with a soft smile, but it slowly faded as his glowing blue eyes darkened in pain.

"You're not her, Tifa. You're not going to leave me too. It's taken me a little while to realize that; that you aren't going to just die if I can't protect you. I couldn't protect her, Tifa and that's damaged me so much since then. I was the one that nearly killed her when Sephiroth took control of me… just before he…" Cloud paused, the anguish clear in his eyes. "Knowing that I couldn't save her has continued to tear me apart, knowing that I was afraid. When she died, all my confidence, all my strength left me. I didn't want to experience that again. That's why I'm not strong enough to protect you, but I know that you're strong enough without me…. Better off, even."

"That's why…" Tifa began.

"... I left…and kept pushing you away…" He finished for her.

"But… I can't seem to let you go either, Tifa. I've tried to, like a fool I've tried to forget you, thinking that you'd be much safer and happier if I wasn't there. I was selfish though, and jealous as well. Every time I saw Vincent with you, I… wanted to kill him," His hands tightened momentarily on her shoulders. "That scared me. Every time I had to fight the urge to just grab you away and hold you and say 'She's mine…. She's mine.'"

She breathed quickly. "What are you trying to say, Cloud?"

Cloud's smile returned, but with a slight smirk. He removed one hand from her shoulder and used it to brush back her hair, feathering his fingers along her cheek to cup her jaw. "I'm trying to say, Tifa Lockhart, that… you are the most important thing in the world to me. And I would die crazy, if anything happened to you." Cloud rushed forward the remaining inches to warmly capture her lips, praying to the high heavens that he wasn't scaring her.

Tifa was anything but scared. Nervous? Sure. Confused? Most definitely. Happy? Very much so.

Excitement rushed through her dreadfully. Cloud's lips were so wonderfully familiar and comforting; arousing and painful. They filled her with such relief and unconstrained trembling, but at the same time she couldn't forget the emotional wounds that had barely begun to heal. She was torn and she cried. The tears, unbidden, fell from her closed eyes as she responded to Cloud, almost in a haze. Why did she always seem to cry when he kissed her?

Her hands skimmed his face, his neck, and through his hair; everything was overwhelming her with the sudden explosion of tactile intimacy. Once her mind began to remember the pain, however, she couldn't help but withdraw, inwardly guarding herself – but Cloud knew her too well. He knew what she was thinking as soon as her glorious lips stiffened and her soft hands began to retreat, and he tightened his hold on her, embracing her to his chest as if he were begging her to stay. Tifa's whimper ended with a moan as a hand caressed her sides and the other cradled her head, holding her to him.

She relished in the textures her body encountered and she was glad that he wouldn't let her go. That's what he had been doing all along… just letting her go, and no matter how hard she tried to hold on, she really had nothing to hold on to. But now… now he clutched her like his last breath.

She was so tired of chasing him and so hurt from trying to let him go. She knew that it was truly something for him to take this initiative, and she was glad for it. He didn't have to say it to her, for she knew what he was really trying to say and that knowledge and his presence in her arms filled her with such warm joy that she was afraid she'd be consumed by it. She knew that she didn't deserve such happiness, but at least once, just this once, she wanted and needed to be selfish too and indulge in this moment. She squeezed him back tightly as they moved into an embrace.

She was shaking even as he held her, her mind oddly clear as her whole being focused entirely on the feel of his strong arms holding her close and the way his warmth carried his scent as she breathed in deeply. This almost seemed unreal to her. She almost didn't believe it. She was so tired of not believing what her heart saw however, that she simply accepted it – wholeheartedly. Never had she been so close to Cloud before that she was almost giddy with the feeling of adventure, almost as if she were daring to be this close to him; this open and this free. Beneath the Highwind, she did have her night with him but only a shoulder to rest against and enough ambiguity to last her lifetime. With a final deep breath, she began to pull away but his arms didn't loosen and even tightened more around her.

"This day will never come again... So let me have this moment..." She heard him say softly, having to think for a moment where she had first heard those words. Apparently he had been thinking along the same lines as her, for he echoed the exact words she had pleaded before they returned to the Highwind. She laughed lightly and nodded, tightening her hold on him once more.

"Don't think that I've quite forgiven you yet." She whispered soberly, thinking briefly of her, then after a few moments, she giggled. "You're still wet, you know."

Cloud immediately let go of her and mumbled an apology as he looked around for a towel. Wiping away a few of the tears that hadn't dried yet with a smile, she opened her drawer to look for an extra cotton shirt, trying to find one big enough for him. With a button up he might be able to wear folded in her hands, she turned to see Cloud pulling his shirt over his head and could feel her cheeks grow warm. He looked at her shyly before accepting the garment and looking down as he pulled it on, leaving it unbuttoned.

Her eyes were fixed however on the small, roughly oval shaped scar just beneath his rib cage. She touched the scar with silent awe, brushing her finger tips along the fine lines where the scar tissue met his original flesh. Tifa knew where this painful reminder came from and had one too, faintly running across her chest.

"She gasped when she saw it." Cloud murmured absently, unconsciously rubbing his thumb back and forth over her other hand that had come up to rest on his arm.

Tifa lifted her eyes to his questioningly.

"That girl… that, I had brought home that night." His face fell with shame, missing Tifa's sudden dark expression. Cloud picked his head up though, as if with a new thought. "Tifa… nothing happened that night, with her."

She pursed her lips and gave him a disbelievingly reproachful look, complete with a quirked brow and frown. He shook his head and continued to insist. "I thought that I could try to move past you if I…. but… I couldn't do it. All I could think of was you… all I could see was you." As Tifa made to withdraw her hand, he caught it and kept it pressed to his scar. "When she saw my scar, she gasped as if merely seeing it pleasured her."

'It was the woman's sudden, excited gasp that sent her flying from her room.' Tifa sadly remembered that night vividly, not sure if she really wanted him to be explaining this to her now.

"And when she touched it… I felt horrified… disgusted. And I just couldn't go on; neither with my body nor mind." His hand flattened hers so that her palm rested above the wound Sephiroth had inflicted on him those years ago at the reactor; the wound he lived through to protect Tifa. Cloud's glowing eyes were filled with wonder as he looked down at her, realizing that perhaps she really was made just for him. No other woman filled his thoughts like Tifa did. No other woman could make his body react the way she did. No other woman would dive after him in the Lifestream like she had essentially done. "But when I look at you, and I feel and see you touching me there… I feel like every damn thing I have done, the good and the bad, has been worth it." He brought her fingertips up to kiss them reverently.

Tifa had been certain she didn't want to talk about what had happened that night. It was a night she fully wished to forget considering the utter pain that had lanced through her. Worse than Emerald Weapon's Aire Tam Storm, her mind and body had nearly broke with the torment of knowing that some other woman was in Cloud's bed. Now, however, now felt like he was kissing away the wounds as he kissed her, healing and erasing all the hurt she felt when she saw and heard the other woman.

"Because it means that I've done something right. You give me hope, Tifa." He finally wrapped his hand around hers in a fist, holding it to his bare chest tightly.

"'Give hope to the lost…'" She intoned distantly, remembering a conversation with an old friend that gave her comfort when she most needed it. It was Cloud's turn to look lost however, as he tilted his head with an encouraging smile. Tifa merely shook her head and beamed at him, taking a step in and leaning against him, her head tucked beneath his chin with their entwined hands pressed between them.

"Is it bad for me to feel happy that you couldn't perform?" She teased with a large grin, closing her eyes as she felt and heard Cloud's laughter rumbling out from his chest.

"You're allowed, I think." He continued to chuckle as he laid his cheek upon her head, drawing her nearer still with his other arm, wrapping it about her waist. "But I also think… that won't be a problem anymore." Cloud whispered in her ear mischievously, letting his warm breath fan her ear lobe, eliciting instant gooseflesh and a hot arousal within her.

The raven haired woman's eyes shot open as she digested his words, fully catching his innuendo, and sensing how true his words were on her abdomen. Needless to say, she also had a feeling that she'd find out exactly how true those words actually were as she felt the first of many kisses begin so hotly on her neck.

AN: Gah! I just couldn't wait! I have so much due this week, huge stuff, but I just couldn't tear myself away from writing the rest of this story. I'm hoping that with no more to write, I can finally focus on my school work!! Perhaps one day I'll write a follow-up story or some sort of epilogue or even a one-shot continuation of what comes after the hot kisses, but right now... this is the end.

I love Cloud and Tifa together, even though Vincent is so "delicious," lol, and I may be tempted to write a solid VinTi, but Cloud and Tifa remind me so much of my boyfriend and I (minus the big swords and big boobs) that I can't help but be in love with their pairing. So, be sure to expect more CloTi moments from me. :)

I want to thank you all so much for staying with me till the end and reading my story. I absolutely love each and every one of your reviews for they really spurred me to keep going and without that, I really don't think that I would have finished. When I get around to those other stories just swirling around in my noggin, I hope that you remember me and visit me again.