So this is my way of saying

MERRY X-MAS!

And a happy freaking new years.

I know I haven't submitted anything for a while, but I just couldn't find my muse. Turns out, all you gotta do is sit down at a computer and just WRITE. Don't think about it, just stop being lazy.

So here you go; some classic angst.

DISCLAIMER: I own non of the original!

I suppose I should be happy, seeing how Zim had lost. But the victory just didn't feel as fantastic as I had at first hoped.

I paced the floor, letting my boots make loud clacking noises with every step. Zim, the idiot, was cursing every profanity he knew, English and Irken. He was trapped, ironically in a zero gravity tube that he built for me. The hard part, the whole epic battle of me and Zim was finished. Now all I had to do was seal the deal and make a few simple phone calls.

"You horrible Earth child! You will never capture me, never! You hear me Dib Monster? Never!" he screamed as he pounded on the glass wall. But it was useless, the chamber was indestructible. He made it that way.

I stopped pacing and stared at the little freak. I shouldn't reason with him. He would deny his defeat, even if I blew up his base and smashed his Pak. That's all he was good for really. He always denied everything,

My fingers drifted over the smooth surface of the phone in my pocket. I should make the call right now, before something goes wrong. Before he breaks free and I have to go though this hell all over again.

But something was missing. I couldn't make that call, not when I have this feeling of being incomplete.

"Never! Never, I am ZIM! You will never win, NEVER!"

Ah. So that is what was missing, I wanted to win.

I wanted an absolute victory.

Total and undeniable victory.

"Damn, hell, fork! What do I have to say for you to submit to my superiority?"

But how do you convince an idiot?

In frustration, I slammed my hands on the cool glass. I glared at him with all my might, trying to strike fear into his heart. But he just glared back, with a victorious smirk.

"Zim, I won. Your computer is offline, Gir is already captured and your weapons are useless where you are right now," I said. "Why are you still smiling?"

He pointed at me, and laughed. "You will never win! The Tallest will come, and with them, entire armies of soldiers and weapons! It is only a matter of time!"

Deny, deny, deny…

I turned my back on him, my face hot with anger. Of course, he always talked about his armies and his leaders. But we humans can handle that, can we?

"Any day now, they will come. And everyone will hate you more, because you failed!" Zim taunted. His sick laughter echoed the base, making my skin crawl.

I touched my forehead, trying to think of something clever to say, something that will give me the final word.

Hate, I can handle. Hate, I can worry about tomorrow. All I want is for him to submit to me!

"Any day…" I mimicked. Then, like a flash of intelligence, it struck me. "Any day? How many days?"

I looked at Zim, for an answer. He just seemed a little confused at the question.

I tried again. "Zim, you keep saying `any day`, but that day never came. For two years, your armies never came! What are you waiting for?"

Zim visibly gasped the question. "What the Irk are you talking about? The timing has to be right, you can never understand!"

Normally, I would have accepted the answer. But Zim seemed genuinely caught off guard. He was trying to cover up something!

"They will never…"

"You will never win!" Zim interrupted me. "Never! Do you hear me, you pathetic loser? The battle is completely one-sided!"

I couldn't help it. I smiled. I knew Zim like the back of my palm. He was being defensive.

"Your weapons are old," I pointed out.

"You are not listening, just listen to me! You can't win!"

"You are using Earth technology more and more," I realized. Slowly, I pieced together the puzzle and wondered why I didn't see it before.

"Shut up Dib! I…I have a plan! I will kill you! You will die a coward!"

But it was too late. I could see. "There is no plan. You have to plan. Your ship has been 'under repairs' for months. I don't see you making contact with your leaders anymore."

Zim was shaking, not of fear, but of anger. Pure, unadulterated anger. "You lie! All of it is lies! You are a stupid human, ugly and smelly! I am an Irken Invader, the best Invader in the universe! I am indispensable!"

Deny, deny, deny

I sat down, and sighed happily. I won, I won a very long time ago and I never even realized it.

Zim pounded and pounded at the glass, unable to break it. He shouted ugly and nasty words at me, but I couldn't care less.

Slowly, I mouthed my final words. My final say, "You were a waste of time."

I couldn't believe how much effect it made on Zim. His eyes widen, his mouth hung open, his shoulders tensed… I think I hurt him. I really hurt him.

Best of all, he was unable to utter another word. The room fell silent, and it felt simply fantastic.

I closed my eyes, savoring the moment. I was so happy with myself, I couldn't even see Zim press a rather large red button on his wrist.