A/N :This is my interpretation of what's going on in the mind of Josef during the re-turning scene in episode 13 and then a following up on it afterwards. It contains slash or a male/male relationship between Mick and Josef so if you don't like that don't read :)
Disclaimer:I don't own the characters, settings or even the majority of the speech in this fic (I used the speech from the show) I'm in no way profiting from this story.
Josef stepped off the elevator and inhaled deeply, the vampire scent of Mick still hung heavily over everything, but now, threading through that scent were ribbons of a subtly different scent. Human Mick. It had been over 50 years since Josef had smelt the scent that had so intoxicated him when Coraline had introduced her human lover. He had had less than a week to get accustomed to the smell and he still found it difficult to be in a room with Mick. Josef straightened his tie and walked into Mick's office without knocking.
Mick was pulling weapons out of his bookcase, oblivious to the presence of the vampire, "What are you doing?" Mick spun, knife in hand and Josef grinned. "Don't do that!" Mick was obviously unnerved and that amused Josef no end, "What? Use my crafty vampire abilities to sneak up on you?" Mick didn't seem to appreciate the razor sharp wit as much as Josef thought he should, "What are you doing here?" Josef sobered for a moment, "Guillermo called me and said you were about to do something extremely stupid." The moment was brief however and sarcasm returned quickly, "I said: "Wait! That can't be the Mick that I know." He raised an eyebrow and the ghost of a smile flitted across Mick's face.
"You should come, you love a challenge." Josef smiled, true he did love a challenge, and it was always exhilarating watching Mick fight…when he was in minimal danger of death anyway. "No, see, I'm a lover. I'm not a fighter. And besides, I'd just get dead trying to protect you: the human liability." Silently he added that Mick dying was possibly the worst thing he could imagine, not to have Mick around… well he didn't want to think about it. He valued Mick in so many ways, he never let him know of course, but he liked to think Mick at least partly realised the impact he had on Josef. Of course if he ever realised the full extent of Josef's feelings…well Josef didn't like to think about that so much either. "I can take care of myself!" Josef could see that his words of persuasion weren't working; Mick was acting like he was still a vampire, taking risks that would get him killed. Josef was all too aware of the fragility of Mick's human self, he could smell it, almost taste it. Mick smelt like prey, soft and yielding. Josef knew that he could so easily break the body in front of him, knew that the man in front of him, his best friend could do nothing to stop him if Josef chose to sink his fangs into the smooth tanned neck. He took a deep steadying breath, he could show Mick how defenceless he was; convince him he couldn't best a vampire.
Eyes bled to pale blue and fangs extended Josef attacked, Mick barely had time to blink before he was hit, once, twice and third time which flung him across the room. He hit the wall hard and for a moment Josef thought he might have actually injured Mick, but that one thought was overwhelmed by many others telling him that he should go in for the kill, he had bested his prey and now he could feed. He jumped the space between them easily and pinned Mick to the wall, fighting not to indulge in his baser instincts. "Is this how you're gonna face them? This is how you want it to end?" Josef practically roared at Mick from barely inches away. He could see the fear, the uncertainty in eyes he knew as well as his own, part of him hated himself for it but part of him loved it, revelled in the fear.
He was breathing deeply as Mick shouted at him, "Get off me." His head was turned to the side, unconsciously exposing his throat and the blood that pulsed and throbbed just under the surface, even as he tried not to recognise the monster that was his best friend. Mick repeated himself, louder this time "Get off me!" Josef could hear that very human heart beating a staccato rhythm, pumping blood faster around Mick's body. Making the veins under the skin of Mick's neck seem to glow with vitality, begging to be given the sweet release that Josef knew only he could offer. He leaned in marginally, battling within himself, knowing that it would be simultaneously the best and worst experience of his life. He inhaled the sweet scent that was neither human nor vampire but just Mick one last time before releasing the other man.
He didn't dare move while Mick brushed past him and put distance between them. Both were aware of the conflict that had raged in Josef, but Josef suspected Mick had no idea just how close he had been to being fed on. Mick still had his back turned when Josef had composed himself enough to face him, "Well, I hope I made my point." He blinked and his eyes were back to normal. He didn't need to see Mick's face to read the anguish that filled him, "Yeah, you did." He almost sighed in relief, Mick would not go chasing after Beth only to get himself killed. He realised it was hopeless for one human to attempt to kill several vampires, even a human who had intimate knowledge of the workings of a vampire. Mick turned and Josef's relief died, the look Mick had on his face, he hadn't given up at all he just had a new plan.
"What?" Josef almost hated to ask, didn't want to know what Mick was going to ask of him and yet already he half knew, had known from the very beginning what was going to happen if Mick became human. "You were right. I can't save Beth as a human. But I can save her as a vampire. You have to turn me back." Mick's eyes pleaded with Josef, begged him to bend to their will and though he would have given his life for Mick he didn't know if he could do this one thing. He tried to protest, "Woah, you hold on. This is not..." but Mick cut him off with a quick gesture of his hand, "You have to turn me back. Right now." blue eyes left no room for compromise, desperately his mind tried to come up with excuses even knowing it would do no good, Mick had decided and he wouldn't be dissuaded now. Josef shook his head "Mick, you're human again. After all you went through to get the cure, you're gonna give it up this easy?"
It was a low blow and Josef knew it, Mick valued his humanity so much, the last week he had been happier and more at ease with himself, it had lightened Josef's heart just a little to see Mick that way. Mick moved a few steps closer "You think this is easy for me? This is not easy for me, ok? I don't have a choice." Josef could see his friend's pain written plainly across his features and it killed him to see it. But he wouldn't do this to Mick; he couldn't take away his life. Josef started speaking without thinking, "What you're asking me to do..." he was almost glad when Mick interrupted him again, he wasn't sure how he would have finished that sentence. "What you're asking me to do, it's something I've been wanting to do for 50 years." No. Mick was so enamoured of Beth, he was proving that right now.
"Listen to me!" Mick grabbed the front of Josef's suit and pushed him back against the wall "Alright! He has Beth. He has my Beth." Those words killed Josef; he knew what it felt like to love a human, a vulnerable, breakable human, the need to protect Sara had been overwhelming, as the need to protect Mick was now. "So, please. Please, brother." The thought flashed across Josef's mind that the removal of Beth would be a good thing; he would no longer be forced to watch her and Mick getting closer, but no. He could never do that to Mick; even now he knew he wasn't going to refuse him this request. He would have travelled to the ends of the earth for Mick, he just hoped that Mick would hold no resentment against him for ending his brief spell as a human so abruptly, "Mick," he captured the other man's gaze, making sure he understood, trying to relay all his feelings in a moment's glance, "forgive me."
He heard Mick gasp when his fangs broke the skin of the neck that Mick had bared for him with a nod. Mick had offered himself to Josef in a way he had never done before, and never would again and yet Josef found himself torn as his fantasies were realised. Mick didn't understand that the sweet ecstasy gained from the taste of his blood on Josef's tongue was not just that of a vampire feeding on a human, but it was the closeness of their bodies, the trust Mick put in Josef, the years spent as friends, the decades of wanting this moment that created the intense intimacy. Josef felt Mick slipping from consciousness, becoming dead weight and slid another arm around his back to support him. He cradled his friend's head as he lowered him onto the table nearby. He could feel the darkness of death begin to creep into the man he had grown to love over 5 decades and pulled back. For a moment, as he gazed on the seemingly too still form, he feared he had taken too much blood and would not be able to bring Mick back. Then he heard a heartbeat, weak but definitely still there. He slid his suit jacket off and rolled up one sleeve. He looked down at Mick's still form as he bit into his own arm. The blood welled up immediately and he held it over Mick's lips.
One crimson drop fell on those lips and a tongue licked it off. More blood and Mick swallowed. "Come on Mick." It was crucial that Mick were able to feed on his own or he might end up like Sara had, the thought of Mick lying, unchanging in a hospital bed for centuries made Josef want to scream at Mick for making him do this. Then Mick raised a hand and took Josef's wrist to his mouth. The feel of Mick's lips on him was almost too much for Josef "Rise and shine." He said, if a little shakily. The pull of Mick feeding at his wrist was overwhelming; he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. This feeling was bliss. The graze of teeth on the edge of the wound made him wince slightly but he didn't mind too much. He looked down at Mick, how much would he need, would either of them know when it would be enough? Josef knew he would happily stand here and watch while Mick drained him dry. Fortunately, Mick released his wrist just then and almost reluctant to lose the feeling of Mick. Josef watched the small wound as it closed up; leaving no trace of the moment he had been waiting half a century for. Mick sat up, Josef watched on as his eyes bled to blue and his fangs extended, he snarled and almost subconsciously Josef bared his teeth in response.
Mick turned to face Josef but he didn't look him in the eye, there was a slight blush to Mick's pale complexion and Josef wondered how it felt to Mick to have Josef's blood coursing through his body, it couldn't possibly feel as good to Mick as it did to Josef. If he closed his eyes he could feel Mick as if he were an extension of himself, he could feel the blood rushing through Mick's veins, the turmoil of emotions running through his mind, he could smell himself through Mick, hear his own heart beating faster. His eyes snapped open. Mick had his eyes closed when Josef opened his. Mick's head was tipped back slightly and his lips were parted slightly, it was all Josef could do not to throw himself at the other vampire. Mick opened his eyes and looked straight at Josef, "I can feel you in my head." He shuddered "It's like you're touching me all over." Josef's breath caught in his throat and his mouth went dry. He looked away quickly and cleared his throat, "I don't know what you mean. C'mon, let's go get Beth." Mick stared at him for a long moment before shaking his head and slipping down off the table, "Yeah, right. Ok." Mick grabbed his coat and started for the door. Josef picked up his jacket and took a stabilising breath before following Mick out the door; this was going to be difficult.