Author's Notes: Okay, so this is probably the lamest Christmas story in the entire universe. And what high aspirations they are! Well, it is not technically Christmas yet in my timezone, so I am still good. We have exactly forty minutes to go! At any rate, enjoy!

Summary: Axel just wasn't going about it in the right way. An Akuroku Christmas Story. Rated T.

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't own. We are not among the privileged few.

o.O.o

Mistletoe

o.O.o

Lifting long arms high above him, Axel slipped the small loop onto the hook and placed his hands on his hips. Grinning to himself and staring up at his handiwork (that was quite handy, if he did say so himself), he was positive that there was no way Roxas could deny him this time.

He was quite confident in the face that the boy would see the mistletoe hanging there, see Axel standing under it, and would proceed to swoon into the older boy's arms.

An audible sigh came from behind the redhead and he turned to see Zexion standing there, a disbelieving, but nevertheless I'm-not-quite-surprised look on his face. His arms were crossed and his one visible eyebrow was raised high on his forehead, threatening to invade his slate hairline.

"If you really think Roxas will fall for that, then you are incredibly off your game, Axel," he said quietly.

The front door opened a moment later to reveal Demyx, Zexion's boyfriend and older brother to Roxas. Demyx's eyes immediately landed on the rather ugly bit of mistletoe hung from the doorway. Immediately, Demyx laughed, carrying two bags of groceries in and setting them on the floor of the kitchen. "He's not going to fall for that Axel-"

"That's what I told him," Zexion muttered.

"-but we could always try it out later," Demyx suggested to Zexion, waggling his eyebrows at his boyfriend. He even winked just once for the little bit of dramatic effect.

"I don't really need an excuse to kiss you senseless, Demyx," Zexion replied dryly, staring at his fingernails in disinterest. "One little peck on the cheek and your knees are already giving out."

It was rather sad that Axel didn't get to use this bit of information to his advantage. He really could have thought of at least a 101 ways to make fun of Demyx just within the next hour or so.

Demyx had just begun to pout when Roxas came walking gracefully down the steps.

As silly as it sounded, Axel's heart gave a flutter and his stomach dropped right out of his ass, just as always happened whenever the younger blond was in a fifty yard proximately, sometimes greater.

"What's going on?" he asked, stepping through the hall and heading toward the kitchen. "Why is everyone gathered in the kitchen?"

He stopped then, his eyes growing wide as he noticed the absolutely offending object hanging from the doorway between the kitchen and hall.

He muttered something that sounded an awful lot like you have got to be kidding me, but Axel didn't quite catch what was said. He was too busy having his toes stomped on by the blond before Roxas ran right back upstairs, throwing a final scathing glare at Axel before slamming his door.

And as he awkwardly held his toes, jumping on one foot in two kinds of frustration, Axel heard Demyx fall into hysterics behind him. But worst of all, he heard Zexion chuckled, and he just seethed.

o.O.o

Two weeks had passed and Axel had found himself in their house once again. In truth, he was best friends with Demyx, but everyone always knew why he was really there. Even Sora, their utterly oblivious younger brother, was prone to make gleeful little remarks about Axel's frequent visits.

It was now Christmas day and they were all gathered in the living room, including Sora's best friend, Riku (who was totally in love with Sora, who was actually the only one who didn't know it), exchanging gifts.

It was finally Axel's turn to pass out his presents. He handed Sora his giant grab bag of every single sugar-infused piece of candy he could get his hands on, gave Riku a crate of styling mousse, Zexion a Border's gift card, and Demyx several new packages of strings and picks for his sitars and guitars, respectively.

Finally it was time for him to hand over Roxas' present and he was practically bouncing up and down in his seat in anticipation. Roxas frowned down at the small box for a moment before almost imperceptibly shrugging and digging into the blue wrapping paper (it had matched Roxas' eyes).

He found a small, white box inside, roughly the size of a necklace box. Inside was indeed a necklace, silver and looking like it had four arrows pointed in different directions. And just under the necklace was two slips of paper, tickets for an upcoming concert to Roxas' favorite band.

Axel could see the small smile on Roxas' face before it slid off the blond's face and landed with a squelch on the floor. Without saying a word, Roxas set the gift's he got from Axel aside, and left the room. Five faces simultaneously filled with surprise, five jaws dropped, but only one person spoke.

"You should go talk to him," Zexion said. "And you should probably go about wooing him with…a slightly different approach."

"What do you mean?" Axel asked, wanting nothing more than for the floor to swallow him whole so he could never be heard from again.

Zexion was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "Roxas…isn't the type to want gifts and gimmicks. He just wants what's real, what's the truth."

The slate-haired man rolled his eyes as Axel just continued to stare at him blankly. "He just wants you Axel, just you. So get off your ass, grab those gifts you got him (because he'll still want them, of course) and tell him exactly how you feel."

"I thought it was perfectly obvious how I feel about him," Axel muttered, his green eyes falling to the floor.

"Well, yes, it should be, if either of you were normal human beings. But you're not. Roxas probably just thinks that you're messing with his head. Or that you are trying to just use him because he's convenient."

"I guess I never really thought of it that way," Axel muttered. A grin broke out on his face then. "But I think I will."

o.O.o

Without knocking, Axel flung Roxas' bedroom door open. Walking right up to him, Axel put his hands on Roxas' shoulders and said, "We need to talk."

"I don't think that we have anything to talk about," Roxas mumbled.

"Well, I do think we have something to talk about. Look, all that stuff with the mistletoe and the gifts-"

"Not to mention singing Dolly Parton at the top of your lungs at the mall, or the not-so-secret love letter, or the tattoo you got on your butt cheek."

"Yes, all that. It's just…wait, how do you know about the tattoo?" Axel asked, growing mortified. Truthfully, the tattoo wasn't directly for Roxas as it was just a small heart. But the blond was definitely on Axel's mind as he unzipped his pants and bent over for the tattoo artist to get to work.

"Demyx has a very big mouth."

"You got that right," Axel agreed, before continuing on. "But anyway, when I did all that stuff, I was just trying to get you to notice me. Because you never seem to give a damn about anything or anyone."

"That's not true-" Roxas tried to deny.

"Please, just let me finish, I'm so the butter because I am on one helluva roll. Look, l love you, okay? I'm not trying to mess with you or anything like that. I love you. Chocolates, flowers, boyfriend, the fucking nine yards. Got it memorized?

"So, Roxas, what do you have to say to that? Do you love me too, or am I going to have to go see Foo Fighters by myself wearing a necklace that has Roxas carved into the back of it?"

Roxas replied in the only way his brain would currently allow, with his body. He flung himself at Axel, knocking the tall redhead to the ground as he straddled him.

o.O.o

Approximately twenty minutes later, the very audible and very obvious sounds of two people humping like animals wafted down from upstairs.

Riku couldn't believe how well Zexion's suggestions had work. Turning to Sora, who was currently trying to pretend that he couldn't hear his older brother moaning, Riku blurted out, "Sora, my love for you burns as brightly as the heat of a thousand suns. Scratch that, make it a million. Please have me!"

The End.

A/N: Be a dear and leave a review!

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