Title: Technical Incompatibility IV or The Zebra Incident
Author: Enaty
Series: Technical Incompatibility
Rating: T
Disclaimer: *sigh* D and Leon.
Claimer: The idea and the text.
Author's Notes: Again, a beta-triggered piece for the "Technical Incompatibility"-series. This time thanks to a grammar explanation I received. Thank you, CFF ;-) This series absolutely is your tribute for putting up with me and my bad timing.
Technical Incompatibility IV or The Zebra Incident
"Say, where are all the others?" D asked suddenly, into the silence that had lasted in the parlour for almost an hour now, closing the drawer at which he'd been gazing intently for a while. Leon stirred sleepily, made a "huh?"-sound and sat up on the sofa, where he'd been dozing with Pon-chan on his lap. The raccoon murmured discontentedly when her cushion suddenly showed life, and rolled onto her back to keep her comfortable position.
"I mean your-" D sent a careful glance around, walked over to the human and bent so he could murmur into his ear. "Breadcrumbs, Leon. Where are the breadcrumbs I left you to follow?"
The blonde human yawned widely and waved in the direction of his backpack, which was somewhere at the entrance as usual. He seldom left it elsewhere when he returned to the pet shop after having done his shift at the disco. "Somewhere in there," he mumbled and leant back into the sofa once more, while D quietly glided over and opened the backpack. He wrinkled his nose at a bottle of beer and a crumbled magazine about cars, then his face lighted up at the sight of a little bag. He fished it out and smiled happily as he went back to the drawer, opening it once again, and began to sort the USB sticks back into his collection.
The expression on his face changed to utterly horrified as he caught sight of one of them. "Leon!" he cried out, scandalised. "What did you do to that poor thing? I didn't – just because I left them didn't mean you were allowed to treat them like this!"
His cry shook Leon and Pon-chan awake, but other animals reacted to it as well. Curious faces poked out behind curtains, and soft murmurs rose along the corridors. The young kami quickly shut up and went over to Leon, holding the USB stick in question out, his posture and expression accusation.
To his surprise, the human blanched at the sight of that particular stick, and even skidded back. "Nothing," he said hastily. "I did nothing to it, D, I swear."
"You cannot tell me that "nothing" happened to this USB stick!" D snapped, angered by his denial. "Every fool can see that something did happen. Just look at it! It looks like someone chewed on it!"
"Well, but it wasn't me!" Leon defended himself, his expression changing to defiant and sullen. "It wasn't my idea either, so it's not my fault if something happened to your precious collection."
"What's he talking about, Count?" Tetsu asked, looking at his master and the human pet in turns, brow wrinkled. He'd known something was up when Leon suddenly turned up in Tokyo; the man was too stupid to find the Count so quickly on his own...
D snatched the USB stick out of Leon's reach and went back to his drawer. "Nothing, Tetsu," he sniffed, obviously pouting now. "It's nothing. The detective just wasn't able to take care of his things again, that's all."
Leon, who'd woken up completely now, saw the look on the face of the sheep-tiger and D's almost guilty glance at the items in the drawer and grinned. Oh yes, someone was keeping secrets here again...
But that wouldn't make him tell D the history of how he'd acquired that particular USB stick and why it was so chewed.
As the parlour grew quiet again, Leon slipped back into the realm of the dreaming, his memory supplying him with the events.
The sun was burning down on his head, and he was absolutely furious, because D, that little bitch, had managed to escape again. And Leon knew he'd left a clue somewhere around here, another breadcrumb, but he couldn't find it, and he'd been walking around in this city for days now, looking for the item.
Now, as a last resort, he'd gone to the zoo, because D had always been nuts for animals, and this zoo was quite big and... who could know what might be hidden here.
Standing in front of the cage with the bears, Leon growled. How in fucking hell was he supposed to find the ultimate proof that it had indeed been D who'd been seen in this city if the bastard hid them so well?
A voice made him startle and turn from the railing. "Be careful, young sir! You shouldn't lean over there so much, you might fall into the cage, and those are bears!"
"Yeah, I know," he grunted at the zoo employee who'd called out for him. But the man wasn't impressed by his behaviour. "No, no, young sir, we don't need no other incidents here. That Chinese sir was just enough!"
That for sure made Leon hark up. "That Chinese sir? Young, black hair, strange eyes, looking like a girl?" he made sure, and when the man nodded, he triumphed. "What did he do?"
"He walked around in the Zebra paddock. They were terribly upset, and when we got him out finally, they ran around for hours afterwards!" The man's face reddened with anger at the remembrance. Leon didn't correct him; it was much likelier that the Zebras had been upset because the humans had handled D a little roughly. But here he finally had his clue!
The zoo employee shook his head in wonder when the young American dashed off and continued to brush the floor. These strangers...
Leon had never particularly liked horse-like creatures, and although he liked zebras better since their fur was striped funnily, he couldn't really bring himself to like them. Plus, there weren't only zebras in this paddock. No, for some reason the zoo management had seen fit to also put some llamas in here, too.
"I'm not going to harm you," he said carefully, trying not to move too hastily, although he really wanted to run, snatch the USB stick and disappear as soon as possible. "I'm just going to pick up what D left here for me, and then I'll be gone..."
The zebras – five or six, Leon wasn't sure, and the three llamas watched him unmovingly. They didn't seem fiendish, but they weren't thrilled either. "Really, I'll be off as soon as I've got it... you don't happen to remember where Count D put the USB stick, do you?"
Leon was kind of desperate, and he felt extremely stupid for talking to the animals; plus, he didn't like the looks the llamas were giving him. "Okay, then I'll... just look around till I find it? That okay?"
One of the zebras shook it's head with what sounded like an amused harrumph, and Leon took that as a yes. Trying not to get noticed – luckily he'd come to the zoo quite early and there weren't many people around yet – he sneaked through the paddock, looking in every place he could think of, cursing the fact that D had chosen such small items.
Of course he didn't find it anywhere where he expected it. He only found it because he finally noticed that the little zebra foal had been standing in a corner quite dreamily, chewing on something, and that there was a long black string hanging out of it's mouth.
"No! You little beast, gimme that! Fuck, D, you're really such a slouch! How can you leave it here when you know... don't you dare eat it, you dumbhead!" he exclaimed, rushing over and snatching the string. The zebra foal startled, pressed it's teeth together and pulled back, but Leon took a good hold of the string and they started tugging at it. Leon was lucky; the foal didn't yet have all teeth, and the USB stick slipped out of it's mouth through one of the holes. Triumphantly he held it up. "See? That's nothing to eat, anyways, it's plastic and you'll only get indigestion," he told the foal in a fatherly manner, which the foal didn't like very much, since it started calling for it's mother loudly.
Before Leon could even blink, he was surrounded by all the adult zebras and the three llamas. "Uh-oh," he said, backing up against the railing, which was, fortunately, right behind him. "I... I'm sorry? It's really not good for him, you know... and D surely told you it's for me, didn't he?" His voice held a pleading note. The animals closed in and he started to get really frantic. "Hey, guys, listen, that's not funny! I swear I didn't mean any harm, I'm just a stupid human, and, and I'm a friend of D's, so I'd never harm an animal anyway... can't we talk about it, please?"
He looked at the llamas pleadingly. One of them pursed it's lips – and spat at him.
"Bullseye, babe," Leon murmured in resignation as he wiped the slobber off his forehead. "Alright, I get it, I'll get out of... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THERE?!"
His panicked screams echoed through the whole zoo as the zebras suddenly started a stampede and dragged him with them, through the whole paddock, once, twice...
After the third round, they finally left him alone, gathering around him and...
Leon hated the fact that he usually started hearing the pets when they were laughing at him. "Look at his face! I can so understand why the Count wants to keep him, he's so amusing!" the mother of the foal neighed.
"Oh yes, and so handsome at the same time! Although he looks kind of scruffy..."
"Well, you would, too, after having been dragged through shit!"
They all started laughing again. Leon would've loved to read them the riot act, but right then he spotted the zoo employee, gazing at him with anger written all over his face, and he saw to it that he got out of that zoo as fast as possible.
"Really, you could've treated it better," D sniffed, sitting down beside him with a little thump, shaking Leon out of his sleep once again. He startled and jerked aside, discomforted by D's sudden nearness and the delighted smile his spooked expression evoked.
"D, dammit, I told you it's not my fault!" he claimed angrily again, his fury roused by the memories. D pouted that sweet little pout of his.
"But Leon, you know how much I love my little collection. Just to think..." He heaved a deep sigh. "Oh well, I shall not mention it again. But you shall give me compensation."
Leon relaxed slightly. "Yeah, whatever, I'll buy you a new one," he said, hoping that he could perhaps now finally sleep in peace.
The smile on D's face made him freeze in his place. "No, dear Leon, I think I want something else this time... what about a nice visit to the zoo next week?"
"No! I'll never go into a zoo ever again!" The horrified look on Leon's face told whole stories about his feelings.
D's smile widened even more. "Well then, Detective, I shall suggest that you watch out better for my stuff then next time, if you want to avoid further visits to any zoo."
He stood up again and turned towards the kitchen, probably to prepare tea or something like that. Leon watched him, still frozen to the sofa, with wide eyes. Did D know...? He could not know, he could not... Leon wasn't going to survive that...
Halfway there, the kami turned to him once again, smiling evilly. "And, oh, have I ever told you that you're quite cute when you talk in sleep?"
-End-
Author's Notes: And this, my lords and ladies, is what I have against zebras... a foul lot, bunching up with llamas and the Count only to torture poor, innocent detectives... really, and then you wonder why I don't go to the zoo anymore since that indicent? ^^
English grammar sucks if you're not English.
Anyway, like I announced on my profile, this is the last piece for this installment of Mixed Pickles. At the moment I'm undergoing some changes – well, not exactly I, but my writing. Depending on how it goes, I'll be back in a while. And, although I hate to say that, but encouragement in the form of reviews and criticism really helps. If you're not willing to take that time, you might have a minute to go to my profile and take part in my poll at least.
Non plus ultra would of course be pms. You are all very welcome to write to me about whatever you might want to tell me. I mean, really, we have the possibility to communicate here – I think we should make some use of that.
Well, I hope to see all of you again, sometime or the other ;-)
Enaty