A/N: This is my first Grey's Anatomy fic, and my first fic at all in several years. Thanks so much to my fantastic beta readers, Jenny and Molly, for helping me fine-tune this fic and tweak until it was just right.

A/N 2: This continues through the next several episodes after 3x08, incorporating those storylines, but obviously certain events didn't happen. There was no Ava/Rebecca (thank God), Izzie never slept with George, and Alex never moved in with Mer/Iz.

A/N 3: The lyrics at the start of each chapter are from the song the chapter is named for.

Can't you feel me walkin' all over your soul

Can't you feel me wait in pain

Can't you feel me reach into you

-Crossfade

She could see the doors just up ahead, and she couldn't wait to get through them. It had been a long, boring, miserable day watching all her friends get to do what she couldn't. She'd become a doctor to heal, to save lives, and instead she had to stand around and observe all the most mundane, routine things that she knew in and out by now. It was a crappy way to go through each day, and she looked forward every night to walking through those doors and going home.

"Stevens!"

Izzie stopped and closed her eyes, a silent sigh escaping her lips. Dammit, I was almost out of here. Can't just one day go right around here anymore? Opening her eyes again, she pasted a bright smile on her lips and turned around to face her current nemesis. "Dr. Bailey. I didn't touch anyone. I didn't talk to anyone. I barely even looked at Alex."

"Don't blame you. That smirk of Karev's would be enough to piss off a saint. And that's not what I was going to ask. Your fellow interns have all given me reports on your behavior." She paused for effect. "You're following the rules, coloring in the lines, playing nice with others, but not too nice. You're doing good."

Izzie smiled tentatively. Coming from Bailey, that was high praise. "So am I off probation?" She tried not to sound too hopeful, lest Bailey crush those hopes.

Bailey snorted indelicately. "Not even close. I just wanted your report." Of course she wasn't off probation. It was never that easy.

Izzie looked at her questioningly. "My report?"

Bailey stared her down. "Did I stutter? I want your report. On your fellow interns and how they've been handling you."

Izzie blinked, confused but pleased. For once, she wasn't the one in the hot seat. "Well, Meredith, Dr. Grey, has been sympathetic but stern. She was so busy following your rules that she wouldn't listen to me about one of our patients and we almost discharged a woman who needed a psych eval."

Bailey gestured impatiently. "I know that, it was in Grey's report. Tell me something I don't already know, Stevens."

"Dr. Yang barely spoke to me and basically acted as if I wasn't there. I could have been a puppy following her from room to room for all she noticed or cared. Dr. O'Malley was nervous and fluttery and hopped around, like a bird with a broken wing or a bunny with ADD."

Bailey covered a grin with a stern frown. "Stevens, I'm not interested in your animal kingdom analogies. Just the facts."

Izzie sighed. "Dr. Karev was, surprisingly, the most professional. He interacted with the patients just as he normally would, without blatantly ignoring me to alert the patient that anything was wrong, but without including me, per your instructions." And he let me pull out Frank's boob tube, she finished mentally, fighting to keep the glee off her face. She deliberately didn't think about what it led to just minutes later. She couldn't do that now, couldn't deal with it. But it didn't mean she couldn't appreciate his kindness and understanding. For once, it worked to her advantage to hang out with the man who disdained rules and broke them whenever he saw fit to.

Bailey nodded briskly. "Alright. Until further notice, you're going to shadow Karev. I think this experience could do you both a lot of good." She waved Izzie off, satisfied in thinking that she'd placed Stevens with the intern who would be toughest on her.

Izzie bit her lower lip to keep from smiling as she turned and finally made it through the front doors of Seattle Grace. Bailey didn't know it, but she'd just done her a huge favor. Alex was the only one who didn't treat her like a pariah, or a charity case. Alex was the only one who gave a damn what this was doing to her.

Isn't Alex always the only one who cares, who understands? her brain pointed out. George tries, but falls short. Cristina doesn't care. And Meredith is so wrapped up in her own damn life that she thinks she's made an effort when she lays down on the bathroom floor with me for five minutes. Alex is the only one who's treated me like a human who made a mistake, as opposed to a pathetic broken wreck, or a bad doctor.

Those thoughts stuck in her mind as she slid into her car and just sat behind the wheel, watching the world blur through the rain streaming down her windshield. Despite everything she'd done, despite her poor decisions and despite how angry he was at her, it all fell away the moment she needed him. Alex was there for her the second he realized how much she was suffering. He always had been.

Izzie closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the headrest. A tear seeped from beneath her lashes and trickled down her cheek as she thought about Denny, about laying next to him in that horrible dress and curling up against Alex as he lifted her away. From one man she loved to another. From one man who'd broken her heart, to another.

A sob burst from her lips. Why did he have to kiss me? she cried silently. Why did he have to bring all those feelings back? I'm not ready to stop mourning Denny. It's too soon. But Alex is… Alex. And I'm not ready to fall in love with him again. She pounded the steering wheel in frustration.

Taking a deep breath, Izzie opened her eyes, wiped away the remaining moisture, and gripped the steering wheel tightly. "Muffins. I need muffins."