Dec. 24th

Lorelai was up early. She had lots of things to do. Tomorrow her parents and Rory would come over – actually Rory would come today – and she wanted everything to be perfect. She went to the mailbox wondering what Emily had put in it for today. The envelope had a bulge and was heavy. As if a stone was inside. Curiously Lorelai went into the kitchen and ripped the envelope open to find that she was right. A stone. And another little envelope next to her usual letter. She frowned at the stone. "I wonder what this is about," she mumbled, as she put the stone – which was quite a beautiful one – on the table and looked at the little envelope. Once more Emily asked her to read the story first. After reading The Limits of Love tears were already pooling in Lorelai's eyes and they spilled over as soon as she caught sight of the stone again. She anxiously opened the note Emily had written. She was openly crying once she had read it. Never had her mother written something like that to her. And while she knew deep inside her heart that she had longed for this, reading it now she knew how much she had wanted this. To feel loved. She grabbed the stone and cried. She cried for all the time they'd lost, the years spent apart, her rebellious years, but mostly because she finally felt loved. Without a doubt and without any conditions. Just love. Her mother's love.

Concerned Luke came downstairs. What happened? Why was Lorelai crying? Even though it happened once in a while lately considering the pregnancy hormones he was a little scared when he saw her. She was clutching a stone as if her life depended on it. Then he saw the letters. Wordlessly she handed them to him. Reading Emily's note he was touched as well. He sat down and pulled Lorelai onto his lap – though that got more and more difficult considering her growing belly. Lorelai snuggled into him and cried, her fingers still caressing the stone. And Luke sat there and soothed her. Caressing her hair and her belly and waiting for Lorelai to stop. Finally after minutes Lorelai seemed to calm down. He handed her a handkerchief and she blew her nose. "She, she loves me," Lorelai sniffed.

"Of course she does. Didn't you know?" Luke asked her softly.

Lorelai shrugged. "Sometimes I wasn't sure. She never said so in years. And even when I was little I can barely remember it," she explained. Luke wiped the tears from her face. "I have to go over," Lorelai said suddenly. Luke nodded.

"Are you sure you can drive?" he asked her.

"Yes. I can pull myself together see?" Lorelai said standing up. "I just shouldn't read the letter while driving – or think too much about it. But I can drive. And we have so much to do here, we can't both be away. I know I shouldn't, but – "

"Of course you have to go over. Don't worry about the house. I'm sure I can manage, once you show me everything you want to have done," Luke said.

"Thanks," Lorelai said gratefully, leaning in to give him a long and gentle kiss.

Lorelai was in front of the mansion. How to start the conversation that lay ahead of her? She had debated this question all the way driving here and hadn't come to a solution. Finally she decided to go with her gut. Exiting the car she went to the door and rang the bell.

Emily was gift-wrapping when she heard the doorbell. That couldn't be… but maybe… Lorelai? She quickly got out of her chair, yelling to the maid – wherever she was – that she'd get the door. Standing in front of her was her daughter – Lorelai. She had come. They were looking at each other. Emily just thought that Lorelai looked as if she'd cried when Lorelai stepped forward and hugged her mother. First cautiously, but then she tightened it. Emily was caught off guard, but soon she embraced her daughter as well. How she had wished for this moment. "Thanks, Mommy," Lorelai whispered into Emily's ear. "I love you too," she added. This broke Emily. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. Nobody remembered the open door or felt the cold wind. When Lorelai stepped back a little and saw Emily's tears, some were rolling down her cheeks as well. Finally Emily felt the cold wind.

"Come in," she said, closing the door and leading the way to the living-room. "Do you want something to –" she started, because that was what she was used to saying when entering this room with someone, but Lorelai already shook her head. She sat down on the couch and patted the place next to her and Emily understood. They sat down next to each other. For a minute they were quiet. Then Lorelai took Emily's hand in hers and started.

"You know, I also recognized myself in today's story. I know I was rebellious and not easy to handle – "

"But that wasn't only – " Emily cut her off, but Lorelai already held up her hand to stop her mother.

"Please, Mom. This isn't easy for me. Please don't interrupt me," she asked of Emily and Emily nodded.

"I know I wasn't easy to handle and I don't know how I would've reacted had I been you. I know you wished I'd been different, but I wasn't. But I also know that while I agree not everything was my fault, it wasn't entirely yours either. I am to blame for fights and I knew how to push your buttons – heck I still know how to do it – and I'm not proud of some of the things I did. I guess I never recognized how much I hurt you, but I'm truly sorry I did. And I apologize for every time I hurt you. I'm sorry, Mom," Lorelai said, looking into Emily's eyes. Emily leaned forward and hugged her daughter. It all seemed like a dream.

"I love you baby," she whispered and Lorelai started to cry again. But she forced herself to stop. She wasn't finished yet. She pulled back a little and wiped her eyes.

"I had to leave back then. I'm not sure you'll ever understand, but I couldn't stay here. Not back then. I had to be on my own. However I didn't know how much I hurt you. I didn't know you loved me back then," Lorelai said, her voice breaking.

"But I did," Emily replied, her voice thick with emotion. Lorelai nodded.

"I'm also here to thank you. I've thought a lot about the past these last weeks and I am grateful that you never rejected Rory. That you weren't like Chris' parents. Believe me I saw the difference – always. And I am grateful that I always had a home here. I may not have felt loved, but I always knew that I could come back. When coming here asking for money for Chilton I knew I'd get it. And this is something not everyone has. Even though I didn't use it, I knew you were always there – as a safety net so to say. And I'm here to thank you for the Advent Calendar. The stories and your notes they mean so much to me, Mom. I'm ready to forgive the past and I hope you can do so as well. I want to start over," Lorelai said. Emily took Lorelai's hand.

"I am ready. I can forgive the past. I want to start over. I want you to feel loved. I want to see my grandchild growing up," Emily said.

"You will. I promise you, you will," Lorelai said and the women hugged again. Their tears were washing away a past they had held onto for too long.

"I don't wish for you to be different," Emily finally said, putting a strand of Lorelai's curls behind her ear. Lorelai leaned forward to kiss Emily's cheek.

"You don't know for how long I wanted to do that. I always envied Rory, when she was greeting you and you were greeting her. And then even Luke kissed you and I couldn't. I'm so glad about this calendar," Lorelai said.

"And I'm glad you came over. And don't think I didn't wish that I could greet you as I could greet Rory," Emily admitted.

"You did?" Lorelai asked incredulously. Emily nodded. They both fell silent again, trying to understand what had just happened. How they had changed. Emily was still caressing Lorelai's hand when Lorelai's thoughts trailed off to tomorrow. "I'm thinking for days about the perfect gift for you," Lorelai admitted. "But I can't find anything that remotely shows how much I appreciate everything you did this month. I want this Christmas to be perfect but I don't know what to give you," she finished sadly.

"But don't you see? This is the perfect gift," Emily said, hugging her daughter again.

~ The End ~