I was listening to Cobra Starship's remix of "I Kissed a Girl" and this popped into my head. I had to use it. Please enjoy, my fellow Yaoi fans!
Hidan: Why the fuck do I have to be in here?
-Sigh- Hidan, shut up and do the disclaimer.
Hidan: Miamay doesn't own Naruto and if she did all the pairings would be up and there would be awesome yaoi love.
Thank you!
...
"Damn it, Tayuya! Why'd you have to drag me along clubbing?" Hidan snarled angrily as a drunk girl grabbed his ass for the eighth time that night.
The pink haired girl smirked and shrugged. "Because I did!" She shouted over the roar of clubbers and the music.
Yo check it out I've got a plan, here's my intention
The frat boys in the club are lame, let's start an altercation
It's just what I'm used to, just want to fuck shit up
I've got my whole damn crew, come on what you gonna do
Hidan growled and heade over to the bar, pushing passed dancing girls and guys alike.
"Strong one, don't care, make it quick." He snapped at the bartender, a pink haired girl with green eyes. She smirked.
"Gee, have a hemorrhage(sp?)." She started mixing a drink together. He growled for the second time that night and waited impatiently.
"Oi! Jashin freak! Why'd you run off?" Tayuya complained, reclining next to him. He glared daggers at her.
"Because I'm gonna get drunk as fuck and go home."
"Well, fucker. Guess you're not up for the dare I have for you."
Hidan perked up.
"Dare?" He asked. This was one thing he loved.
I kissed a boy and they liked it
Got all the honeys in the club excited
I kissed a boy just to start shit
That homeboy was not about it
I know it's wrong, but I don't mind
I'm gonna start shit tonight
I kissed a boy just to start shit
They just loved it
"Yeah bitch. See that guy over there? I blackhole dare you to kiss him."
"The fuck? I don't even know him!"
"That's why I made it a blackhole dare. I was afraid you'd back out."
"Bitch, when have I ever backed out of a dare?"
"There's a first time for everything, pansuke (1)."
He growled and pushed himself off the chair and sauntered over to the masked guy. He looked like a rat in a tank of snakes, his jade eyes darting all over the place as he tried to excuse himself from the drunk blonde chick hanging over him.
"C'mon, Kuzu-chaann..."
"Look, Ino, I told you. I'm taken." The guy said uncomfortably.
Ino pouted.
"Whoever she is doesn't deserve you! C'mon, Kuzu-chan, I'm experienced!" She pleaded.
Hidan saw his oportunity.
"Problem is, Ino, I'm not a she." He said, sliding an arm around 'Kuzu-chan's' waist and yanking the mask down, planting a passionate kiss on the strangers lips.
Now you don't even know my name, it doesn't matter
Don't even front, you've got no game, you're just a sucker
So what now, I clowned you, and I'm stealing your girl too
She wants a secure dude, and that's just not you
Surprisingly the stranger responded. He must have been a better kisser than his ex-boyfriend, Pein, said.
When he pulled away, he almost died from laughter. Ino's face was pure surprise and there was even a blush tainting her porcelain cheeks.
"Oh... Kakuzu, I'm sorry. I didn't realize." She bit her lip. "Gomenasaii."
"It's alright, Ino-san. My Kuzu-chan's pretty damn good looking." Hidan smirked as Kakuzu blushed.
"Still... I'm sorry, ah..."
"Hidan."
"Hidan. Right. Well, see you at school, Kuzu-chan." Ino waved and slipped away through the crowd.
"Well, thanks a bunch, Hidan. I really don't like it when she's drunk. She's a great friend, but..." He sighed.
"I know how it goes. Oh, and sorry about the kiss. I was dared by my bitch, Tayuya."
I kissed a boy and they liked it
Got all the honeys in the club excited
I kissed a boy just to start shit
That homeboy was not about it
I know it's wrong, but I don't mind
I'm gonna start shit tonight
I kissed a boy just to start shit
They just loved it
"Oh. Okay. I was wondering why you'd help a stranger."
"Yeah. Well, later, Kuzu-chan." He smirked and sauntered off.
Kakuzu watched him go.
"... I wish I knew him better. He's a great ass kisser." Kakuzu sighed wistfully and headed away through the crowd.
"Well, that was more fun then I thought it would be." Tayuya remarked as he sat down next to her.
"Here, mister. It's on the house, for that awesome as hell kiss." the pink-haired bartender smirked.
"... Right. Thanks, I guess." He said suspiciously.
Me and my bros that's how we roll, you never know how far we'll go
I'll grab some junk that I don't own
And plant one right on him
You're only here for our amusement
...
Hidan arrived home, drunker than all fuck.
You, Hidan, have mail! His computer exclaimed in its automated voice.
"Wha...?" He slurred, looking at the e-mail.
Oh, Jashin-sama... NO!
It was a picture of him and Kakuzu kissing.
"DAMN YOU TAYUYA!!!"
I kissed a boy and they liked it
Got all the honeys in the club excited
I kissed a boy just to start shit
That homeboy was not about it
I know it's wrong, but I don't mind
I'm gonna start shit tonight
I kissed a boy just to start shit
They just loved it
...
Well! That was fun. Ish. I know, I know, it sucks, but it's the... third yaoi I've ever done and probably the best. I kinda want to continue it, but I don't know.
Hidan: Jashin, no! What am I gonna do?
Kakuzu: Damn that was awesome...
... Yeah. Anyway, if I get any reviews I'll continue it, because I really like it. I think it could go places. I dunno. Please review and I'll stay happy and maybe update on "What the Heart Desires"!! En suki otaku (I love you), my dear readers!