(Disclaimer: I do not own Puffy AmiYumi)

A/N: This is actually an old fic I had on my computer that I never got around to posting... So if the first few chapters suck and the story doesn't seem to connect in sections that's probably why...

Chapter 1 - Hiding the truth makes me bleed

'Another sleepless night,' thought Yumi miserably, 'The band is suffering because me. Because I can't control how I feel about you. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear.' She lay on her bed staring at the ceiling in frustration. A frustration that was from thinking about Ami in that way. Thinking about dating her, loving her and running her fingers through her long bubble gum pink hair. Sometimes she would find herself daydreaming about this then later punishing herself for such thoughts. One wrong turn and their friendship would be over. The band would be over. Her dream would be over. She was sure that if Ami knew how she felt about her that she, Yumi, would be on a plane headed for disaster.

'It's wrong to think about Ami that way. She's my friend nothing, else. Why is it that I never felt this way about some stupid guy? Why do I have to feel this way about Ami? It feels so wrong for this to feel right.' she thought angrily. She closed her eyes tightly trying to block out the images of Ami that floated before her. She pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes until she saw stars. Rolling over on her bed she slipped her hand under the mattress and grabbed a knife. Carefully Yumi positioned it above her wrist. The blade glinted momentarily and a few drops of blood hit the floor. She licked the remaining blood off her wrist pulled out a blood stained cloth and wrapped it around her wound. Looking at the floor she noticed all the blood stains.

"Should probably clean this up tomorrow. Wouldn't want Ami to find out. Ami... We haven't talked for a while. I feel sick about pushing you away, and I know it hurts but... If you knew..." Yumi said then unwrapped her wrist and raised the knife once more.

The next morning Ami awoke to a beautiful sunshine. She stretched, smiled and walked over to the window to greet this new day. Today Ami was beaming with joy. Today she and Yumi Chan were going to the mall. Of course the arrangement was made a long time ago when they were on tour. They had found the most amazing mall and Yumi had promised to take Ami back for a total shopping spree. Ami was happy for any reason to regain the closeness she once shared with Yumi. She frowned at the thought. They had been so close until about three or four months ago. Yumi had suddenly started secluding herself and left Ami feeling cold and alone. A tear slid down her cheek but she hurriedly wiped it away.

'I can't be feeling sad. I don't want to Yumi to worry. Yumi... Why won't you talk to me? Why won't you tell me what's wrong? I miss you.' Ami thought sadly then quickly shook her head, 'What am I thinking? Me and Yumi will be spending the whole day together. We're bound to clear this up sooner or later. I think I'll surprise her with breakfast in bed!' Ami shot out of her room and sped into the kitchen.

In what seemed like no time she had a full tray of food. As she walked to Yumi's room she stopped. Yumi hadn't let Ami enter her room after her sudden isolation and Ami began to ponder if this was such a good idea. She took a deep breath and took the last remaining steps to the door. She slowly reached for the handle and opened the door a crack. She saw her friend slumped over with her back facing her and heard her sobbing quietly. Ami was overcome by her friends state. Not wanting to Yumi to know what she saw Ami closed the door and knocked. No response. Ami pressed her ear to the door and heard silence.

"Yumi Chan? You awake yet? I made you breakfast." Ami called through the door. Then she heard the shuffle of foot steps coming to the door. It didn't open but Yumi replied.

"I'm not hungry." Came the sullen reply. Ami tried the door but realized that Yumi was pressing against it.

"Yumi Chan please. I made it for especially for you." Silence.

"Well, I'm not hungry. You eat it. I really don't care."

"But-I"

"Don't care, now go away."

"Yumi I th-"

"Ami."

"Yes?"

"Go. Leave. I don't want you here. I'll see you tomorrow."

"But Yumi what about the-"

"I said leave! I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk with you, just want you to leave you freak'n bitch!" Ami burst into tears. She put the tray down and ran to her room. Yumi leaned against her door.

"Ami I'm sorry- I didn't mean it- I didn't..." She tried desperately then flung open the door to see her friend had gone. She pulled off the bloody cloth and replaced it with her wrist band and ran down the hall. The door to Ami's room was wide open revealing the pink flowery wallpaper and zoo of stuffed animals. Ami lay on her bed sobbing into her pillows. Yumi felt like running to Ami and pulling her into her arms and apologizing. Instead she trudged into the kitchen and sat down with her head in her hands. Just then Kaz entered the room.

"Oh, good morning Yumi. Usually I see Ami up at this time, where is she?" Kaz asked oblivious to Yumi's expression, "Well, anyway what time do you two plan to be back at?"

"What?" Yumi asked puzzled.

"You and Ami are going to that mall today. That one you've been planning to go to for almost a year." Kaz said.

"Oh, I forgot about that..." Yumi said surprised and began to recall the promise she had made to her once close friend. She began to feel sicker.

"How could you? Ami's been talking about it nonstop to me." Kaz said then smiled and walked back.

'How bad of a friend have I been that Ami has resorted to talking to Kaz? I guess just this once I could... Then never again.' Yumi thought, 'Three more plus one for every tear I made you shed today. Hopefully I'll bleed to death and stop hurting you.'