A/N: Hi, guys. I've had the first part of this fic done for a long time and I just couldn't seem to get it finished. I'm sorry if the last part seems weird. It veered away from my original intention.

Disclaimer: I don't own L or Light…I wish I had L though. L's the best.

Light frowned and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched L devour an entire bag of mini marshmallows. "I really don't get it," he muttered.

"Hmgeh wha?" L asked with his mouth full.

Light wrinkled his nose. 'Swallow before you talk. I can't make out a word you're saying."

L swallowed and blinked at Light. 'What don't you get?"

"How you can eat all that and not gain a single pound."

L shrugged. "I am gifted with a fast metabolism."

"Nobody's metabolism is that great. You're just skin and bones. You're a walking stick."

"I am not a stick," L said indignantly.

"Yes you are. You're so skinny. How tall are you? Five-foot-eight?"

"Five-nine," L said placidly.

"Okay, okay. And how much do you weigh?"

Light was caught off guard when L cheerfully slapped him.

"Oww! What the hell was that for?"

"You should never ask someone their weight,' L said calmly. 'It is impolite."

"You're one to talk. You always ask nosy questions."

'That's because you're my suspect," L said cheerfully. "I have the right."

"Well, anyway. You're still a stick. Why don't you ever eat anything normal?"

'Because I'm abnormal." L smiled.

Light's eyes narrowed, believing L to be mocking him. "Fair enough. But it's a good thing you're not interested in girls. No girl would ever date a stick like you."

L sighed. "For the last time, I am not a stick. Furthermore, I am attractive to a number of people."

"Yeah right," Light sneered. "Starvation chic? Nobody likes that."

L blinked at Light innocently. "I believe there is a certain person of a slightly larger build than me staring right at me that has an unhealthy interest in me."

Light gaped at L, trying to decide what part of L's statement irritated him the most. He quickly made a decision. "You're calling me fat?" Light growled, aiming a furious kick at L.

"Larger build compared to me," L tried to assure Light.

Light would have none of it. L soon found himself on the ground, pinned beneath Light as Light socked him in the stomach.

"Ah, help…Kira!" L gasped. "Kira's trying to kill me."

Matsuda rushed in and managed to separate the two boys. L stood at one side of the room, in his usual slumped posture, looking quite uninterested. Matsuda held onto the back of Light's collar on the other side of the room as Light was still furious and could at any moment resume his attacks.

"All better?" Matsuda asked.

"He called me fat," Light growled. "And gay."

"So, judging from that statement," L murmured. "Raito-kun is first concerned what others think of his appearance. He is then only secondly concerned with what others perceive of his sexuality."

"Shut up," Light snarled. "Unlike some people, I actually bathe on a regular basis and eat healthy foods. You eat sickeningly sweet crap and you rarely brush your teeth. That's disgusting, Ryuuzaki."

"Fair enough," L murmured. "Raito-kun has an extensive bathing ritual. But he is the one who apparently has let his love of grooming products turn him into a stereotypically gay male."

"I'm not gay," Light insisted. "And even if I was gay, I would never fall for you."

"Is-is this a lover's spat?" Matsuda asked sheepishly.

"Yes, Raito-kun does not want to admit his feelings for me," L said calmly.

"Are you crazy!?" Light roared. "Why would I ever have feelings for you? You're a freak."

"Umm…Raito?" Matsuda began cautiously.

"Go away, Matsuda," Light growled. "This is a private matter."

Worriedly, Matsuda let go of Light and ducked out of the room.

"Now, you listen to me and you listen good," Light snarled, advancing on L. "You're a goddamn freak. You never sleep, you can eat whatever you want and still look like you're starving, and you are a social retard. Why would I possibly like someone like you?"

"Perhaps Raito-kun has heard that opposites attract? Raito-kun is overly groomed, overly concerned about healthy eating, and can charm the pants off of any girls he wishes to without actually feeling a thing for her. And Raito-kun will not feel a thing for any girl because he is gay."

"I'm not gay, you idiot! How many times do I have to tell you?"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," L murmured.

"That's the last straw!" Light exclaimed. "I'm not gay and I'm certainly not feminine in any way. I'll freaking kill you, you asshole!"

Light put his fist out to punch L but L grabbed onto his fist and pulled Light off balance. Light stumbled against L, his lips twisted into an angry snarl. "Enough, Raito-kun," L murmured. "Let's kiss and make up."

Matsuda charged down the hall, Mogi in tow. It was against his better judgment to leave Light and L alone when Light had just screamed that he was going to kill L. He had to separate them. It was his duty.

As Matsuda flung open the door, preparing to save L's life, he was startled by the lack of screaming and fighting. Equally startling was the fact that now, L and Light were avidly making out.

The pair was standing in the center of the room, passionately kissing. Both had their eyes closed and seemed completely oblivious to the dramatic way in which Matsuda had opened the door. They were lost to each other. Light had one hand around the back of L's head and one hand around L's waist, pressing him closer. L's arms were wrapped tightly around Light's chest. Their lips parted for only a second to get a breath of air before they resumed their kiss.

Matsuda let out a squeak of surprise and he shut the door quickly and scuttled backwards, crashing in Mogi behind him.

"Well?" Mogi demanded. "Aren't we going in there to break them up?"

"I-I wouldn't go in there," Matsuda spluttered. 'T-too dangerous."

"Oh, be a man for once," Mogi replied crossly. He opened the door, peered in, and closed it again quickly. Mogi turned to Matsuda, his face ashen. "You're right. They can take care of themselves."

Matsuda nodded eagerly, wishing fervently that he could erase all memory of what he had seen. He probably would never look at Light and L the same way again.

Light and L emerged from the room a few minutes later. Light's face was glowing with a happy smile and L gazed at Light adoringly. "Hey, everyone," Light announced. "We kissed and made up."

Mogi turned green and crept into the bathroom. Matsuda let out a girly shriek of horror and scampered off.

Light put his arm around L's shoulder. "What's gotten into everyone today?"

L leaned against Light happily. "I don't know, Raito-kun. Everyone is indeed acting strange. We're the only normal ones here, right?"

Light's grin widened. "Right."