Title: In Reverse

Rating: PG 'Verse: 2007 Movie

Author: Sheena Marie

Characters: Sam Witwicky, Ironhide, mentions of Constructicons

Warnings: One mention of sex in regards to chickens.

Summary: They had been feared enemies. Now all one had to do was utter one word. One simple little, single syllable word.

Disclaimer: I don't own zip. The Transformers franchise isn't mine. I'm just fooling around in their playground for a while. I promise to put them back when I'm finished.

Notes: This started life as a bunny on the tf_bunny_farm on lj. It was one of the ones by kirin_saga.

They had once been feared. Enemies that would tear you limb from limb without a second thought. The mere hint of facing them on the field of battle had sent many an Autobot trembling.

Now...

They trembled, yes, but it was not fear that made them do so. Oh, no, fear was not the true cause now. It was something more, something benign that caused them to tremble.
Slaggin' planet.

Slaggin' Squishies.

Fraggin' Alt. choice.

It was a relatively quiet weekend at the Autobot base. Sam found himself flopped on a convenient shelf well out of squishing distance in the 'Rec-Room'. Mind your feet! took on an entirely new meaning when one was friends with giant, definitely not Japanese, alien robots from outer-space.

There was something that had been bothering Sam for a while now. He'd been meaning to ask about it but what with school, new arrivals, and running for his life on a semi-regular basis it had completely slipped his mind. Now seemed like as good a time as any. It didn't appear as though he was getting off this shelf any time soon and Ironhide was nearby re-fuelling, or whatever it was the Autobots did to eat, so he wasn't going anywhere either.

"Hey, Ironhide..."

"Yes, Sam?"

"The Constructicons. What are they?"

Dead silence while Ironhide turned and just looked at him. Sam could almost see the thoughts running through the 'Bots' mind. "Decepticons".

Okay not quite the answer he was looking for, and did he have to use that tone of voice?

"Yeah, I got that part. What with the trying to kill us, the red eyes and the teeth, but what are they?"

"The teeth?"

"Yes, the teeth!"

Ironhide was giving him the strangest look. "Of all the things for you to fixate on you chose the teeth?"

...Maybe from a 'Bots perspective it was a little strange, but... "Hey! If a 'Con holds you that close to his mouth of course you're going to notice the teeth!"

Ironhide grunted, amused.

Sam was getting far too familiar with Decepticon teeth. Starting with Barricade and the little Spazzcon, Frenzy, and ending with the current fans of 'Scare/Squeeze the Squishy', the Constructicons.

... At least Decepticons didn't get bad breath. Though if they decided to chomp and a bit of human got stuck and started to decompose... EW!! Bad mind! Bad! Don't go there!

"Anyway, off-topic. Constructicons. What are they?"

Ironhide sighed, or did something very similar to sighing. Sam, and many of the other humans, often debated whether this was one of the mannerisms they'd picked up off humans or one of those universal 'frustration' things. They'd dared Glen to ask one day but the man had chicked out at the minute.

"The Constructicons are a sub-faction of the Decepticons and a Gestalt".

"Gestalt?" It was highly unlikely that had anything to do with growing periods or whatever.

"You don't want to know". Ironhide looked very, very serious.

"Right". Gestalt was mentally added to the list of 'things to bug 'Bee about later-ish'. "Sub-faction.

Huh... Wait! They turn into construction vehicles, right?"

A nod.

Sam frowned, mulling the facts over in his mind. Constructicons. Constructi 'Cons...

"Construction Decepticons? Isn't that something of an oxymoron?"

Another nod and one of those 'strange little primate, what are you thinking?' looks some of the 'Bots got during the human's weirder conversations... And, yes, even he would admit the debate on how chickens had sex had been one of the odder conversations he'd been involved in. Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of human boredom, hope your processor survives the experience. "Quite possibly".

So, the Decepticons had a sub-faction with a form of 'construction' in their name and their Alt. modes were construction vehicles... huh..

...

...

...wait a second... didn't construction vehicles....

They did! A grin spread across his face. The mental image was just too much and he collapsed into a heap on the shelf laughing like an asthmatic hyena.

They so totally did!

"Sam?" Finally deciding to leave his seat at the table, Ironhide cautiously made his way over. "Sam, are you malfunctioning?"

It took him some time to control his laughter. Just when he thought he had it under control his brain would provide him with the, what was most likely totally inappropriate but absolutely hilarious, mental image causing him to break into fresh giggles. "I wonder if they beep in reverse?"

Ironhide paused in mid... Wait, was that a poking motion? Had Ironhide seriously been going to poke him? "...Beep?"

Sam cracked up again. "Yeah, beep. All construction vehicles beep when reversing"

"..."

So that's what Cybertronian 'belly laughter' sounded like.

---

They had once been feared enemies... now all one had to do was utter one word. One simple, little, single syllable word and...

... no-one had been able to look at them the same way since.

...

Beep

Fin.