I rewrote the first chapter. Here is the original chapter and author's note:

I thought this would be a nice story to write. I hope you like it!

Firestar once decided to eat somebody. He went out and picked a warrior. He ended up eating Brambleclaw. "Yummy!" Firestar exclaimed. The End.

Oh, by the way, I only wrote this to see how many bad reviews I could get. So, obviously this was just for fun. OK? Now go review!

And here is the rewrite:

The day had been long and hard. All Firestar wanted to do was sit down and eat some dinner. However, he was completely and totally sick of mice. So he had decided to Google some new recipes. After about the tenth page of Google links (who looks that far on Google?) he finally found one that looked promising: Delicious Recipes For Cats. He clicked on it and waited for it to load.

"I have got to get faster internet for the clan. Because this 6-seconds to load thing is way to long," Firestar muttered to himself. Once the page loaded, he was amazed to find out that the recipes were for cats, as in, eating cats! But he became enthralled with the recipes, wondering what they would taste like. He smiled an evil smile, the kind that men in old movies with the twirly mustache have. You know what kind I'm talking about. The men about to ravage young girls, run people over with trains, etc.

"Brambleclaw! Get your kitty butt in here!" Firestar screamed for his deputy. Brambleclaw quickly entered the den.

"Yeah, boss? What's up?" Brambleclaw's mind was distracted, thinking about Squirrelflight who was waiting for him in their private den...

"I want to eat you," Firestar informed him. Brambleclaw raised an eyebrow but didn't have time to say anything before Firestar pounced on him and ate him whole, totally raw. But he then realized what he had done and immediately vomited Brambleclaw right back up onto the rug.

"HOLY FUCKING STARCLAN, FIRESTAR! YOU ATE ME! YOU FUCKING ATE ME!" Brambleclaw shrieked before running out of the den. Firestar shrugged and quickly disappeared into the kitchen, to get some gummy worms.

There you go. Rewritten. Much better, no?

Flames are appreciated, though reviews in general are appreciated, very appreciated.

Disclaimer that I forgot: I do not own warriors, google or... yeah. I own the idea of a cannabilistic Firestar, so if anyone steals it, I'll know. Mmk?