Author: RowenaR

Rating: Everything from K+ to M, I guess.

Disclaimer: Stargate belongs to Gekko and… all those other people making money with it. Anyway, I don't. Honestly. So – I don't own, you don't sue. Deal?

Summary: A hundred ways Laura Cadman and Evan Lorne encounter each other.

A/N: So... finally my claim has been accepted by the FanFic100-mods on LJ. And since I know that not everyone follows my LJ (there's a reason why I haven't posted the address here), I decided to post the story in the LJ and here, so apologies for everyone who does follow the LJ and gets double-posts. Hope you don't mind too much.

Also, lots of thanks to the wondeful mac who agreed to beta these stories as well as my "Protect and Survive"-stories. You're the best :)

Anyway, as always: Not a native speaker, so please excuse any weird grammatical constructions, run-ons and typos. Feedback will earn you a cookie, flames will roast my marshmellows.

Prompt: 033 Too much

Eyes that know me

"Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won."

Glen Hansard feat. Marketa Irglova, "Falling Slowly"

In the end of the day… it doesn't matter that she saved maybe an entire planet from being blown up. It doesn't matter that she now has almost Goddess-like status on that planet either. Even the recommendation Colonel Sheppard will write doesn't matter to her. What matters is that one of her team members is dead. Only two weeks after she finally got her own team, her first member is dead. Threw herself in front of a villager's kid and caught the bullet that had the kid's name on it. And she hadn't even been military.

They had tried everything to save Dr. Sandini, but they were too slow, too poorly equipped, too far from the 'Gate. At the end of the day all she sees is Ornella's face as she spent her last living breath and tried to tell her something, but never got the chance to finish. She wants to scream, cry, hurt someone… but all she is able to do is practically crawling back to her quarters.

As she arrives there, she opens the door, drags herself inside and walks over to the shower. Inside, she sheds all her clothing, feeling like peeling away layer after layer of what has protected her against the real impact of Ornella's death until she's naked… and without any protection against the turmoil in her mind.

As if on autopilot, she enters the shower, turns on the water, but barely registers that it's ice-cold. The only thing she registers is that the cold water numbs the thoughts and the feelings threatening to overwhelm her, and she is grateful for that.

She doesn't know for how long she's standing there, just letting the cold water wash over her, make her forget all that happened. All the guilt and the feeling of failure and the pain at losing a friend and all the million things in between for which she doesn't even have a name. She's so bent on getting away from all of that, that she doesn't register someone knocking on her door and calling her name. And she doesn't register that someone knocking a little more forcefully and calling out her name a little louder when she doesn't answer.

At first she doesn't even realize that suddenly she's not alone in the shower anymore. Her skin is so cold that she doesn't feel his touch for the first few moments. Only when the water is turned off, the sound of someone swearing like a trooper reaches her ears. "Holy crap, Jesus fucking Christ, bloody hell! How long have you been standing here?" She blinks and turns her head a little. "Laura, for how long?" She wants to say something, but just can't.

As he sees that she's not in the condition to answer, he pulls her bathrobe from the hook and wraps it around her. Without wasting any more time, he simply picks her up and carries her over to their bed. There, he pulls the blanket over her and, for good measure, also the quilt her mother sent them with her last package. At first she's a little clueless about why the hell he's doing that, but suddenly she finds herself shivering violently. She turns on her side, curls up very tightly, to make it stop, but is just doesn't.

As her teeth start to chatter, she feels warm skin on hers. Gentle hands running up and down her arms, warm legs encircling hers, a warm and solid chest against her forehead. All the warmth and the tenderness is suddenly too much for her. She feels like choking and so she's heaving breaths, mortally afraid that she'll suffocate. But as it is… she's not about to die from lack of air… but simply starting to cry.

On her still cold face, the tears feel unbearably hot, as do the lips that have started to kiss them away. It's like her body is suddenly going into sensory overload after the initial lack of feeling wore off. She feels like being burned all over. Her first impulse is to get out of this bed, away from the hands and the lips, but he must have anticipated this because one of his legs is thrown possessively over hers and his voice whispers in her ear, "Just let me kiss it better."

Kiss it better… she opens her eyes again, to look into his and search for pity, but all she finds is understanding and caring. He doesn't say anything, simply puts a hand on her cheek and starts kissing her, slow and just a little teasing. There's this moment… where it stops being simply comforting and turns into something more heated. It makes her heart flip and raises a feeling of wanting deep inside of her. All by themselves her hands start roaming over his skin, exploring the body they already know so well and still enjoy discovering anew.

Her mind is now devoid of any thoughts about this day. Instead it's fully in the here and now, ready to relinquish control in favor of her most basic needs at any moment. As he gently rolls her on her back and starts dropping slow little kisses down her throat to the spot between her collarbones, she wraps her legs around him, trying to be as close to him as she can. She wants him inside of her, but he takes his time, keeps her lingering on the edge, until it's almost too much to bear… until it almost makes her beg for a release.

When they have finally reached it… she feels like crying again, only this time because she feels all the tension gone from her body and her mind and is just so relieved that she has survived this day. Got a little damaged, yes, but survived. Survived to come back here and have this man at her side. She feels both drained out and so fucking alive.

Yes, the pain of losing Ornella isn't gone, and it'll probably take months – maybe even years – until she is finally ready to forgive herself for that, but it's not threatening to break her anymore. She turns to Evan again. He's looking at her, and she doesn't have to say anything. He understands her even without words. "Better?"

She simply nods and turns to curl up against him. Now the blankets and his presence don't seem to suffocate her anymore. Instead it all feels like her own little cocoon against the harsh galaxy out there that's only waiting to get its hands on her again. Her last thought before falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat is that what matters most in the end of the day is being infinitely grateful for everything Fate grants you. And she is.