Ch. 1

The early morning sun shone over Saratoga Racetrack in Saratoga Springs New York. Ashleigh Griffen swayed gently to the stride of the two year old colt, Roman Empire. He was a tall chestnut, standing around 16 hands, a long flowing auburn mane, well-muscled chest and long delicate legs. He was a handful at times but he was her favorite of the seven horses she worked in the mornings.

She'd ridden two already that morning, Sebastian and Lockin' Lady. They'd performed well, as they usually did. Bobby Abrams, the trainer that she usually rode for, had given her stern orders to give Roman an easy work, just a light jog around the track because he was racing the following day in the Saratoga Special, a six furlong grade two race. It was his first after breaking his maiden six weeks prior. Ashleigh had been on board then when he'd crossed the finish line two lengths ahead. She'd been thrilled with him and had spent hours lavishing attention on him back at the barn. He was spoiled.

"I know that you hear that horse coming up behind us but you aren't going to bolt. Your time will come tomorrow when you beat all those other horses. I'll let you run then but today we're just out for a light jog. Got that, bud?" she patted his neck and prepared in case he decided to take off. He'd done that upon occasion.

Roman flicked his ears and tossed his head when the other horse came up on his flanks. He tugged against the bit, increasing his speed slightly. Ashleigh tugged him back and held him tight until the other horse had passed. She breathed a sigh of relief. One crisis avoided. "Good boy, Roman." Ashleigh called into his ear and made a mental note to give him a carrot and a brushing in his favorite places later.

They turned the far corner, Roman tugging impatiently at the bit and she knew he longed to stretch his legs and feel like he were flying. She longed to let him but she knew it would pretty much destroy any chance that he had at winning the following day. "Hold on, baby." she cooed. "You'll get your chance."

They crossed the finish line and Ashleigh pulled him up, laughing as he cocked his head slightly to look back at her as if to say "that was my work? What are you, kidding me?" She ruffled his mane and pointed him back towards the gap. "You'll thank me tomorrow when your running your ass off to keep up with Maiden Jinx." Maiden Jinx had been Roman's biggest competition in his last race and Ashleigh guessed he'd give him a run for the money in tomorrow's race as well.

"Nice," Bobby commented as he jotted a few notes on his clip board. "Just where we want him. Missy's waiting for you." he jerked his thumb behind him to reveal the coal black filly who was waiting impatiently next to her groom. "Give her a three furlong breeze and make sure that she stays on task. She doesn't give her a couple of good ones with your whip." he looked at her from under bushy eyebrows. "I mean it, Griffen. Whippin' her won't kill her, she needs to know when it's time to stop goofin' off and get down to business."

Ashleigh nodded and jumped off Roman's back, wincing slightly. She was infamous for her reluctance to whip a horse that she was riding. She'd always thought that there were other ways to handle a horse and get them to run without inflicting pain. But orders were orders and as a jockey she had to fill them out.

As soon as she got on Mistress's back she felt the coiled spring of energy. She was ready to run. She'd raced the previous week and hadn't been breezed since. Bobby hadn't yet picked a race for her but Ashleigh guessed he would go for the Test, a grade two stakes race for three year old filly's and up. It was seven furlongs, just right for Missy.

"Okay, let's just warm up before we do anything else." Ashleigh told the filly as she fought to keep her in check. Missy shook her head in an irritated sort of way but settled down a little. When they reached the quarter pole Ashleigh let the filly go, feeling the wind rip through her hair and sting her cheeks. Missy could run that was for sure. Ashleigh had to force herself not to get lost in the filly's rhythmic strides and not to run past what they were suppose to. Bobby would have a fit.

She had two more horses after this, Live Forever whom she'd nicknamed Lively part for his attitude and part for his name. The other horse was a four year old gelding named Mystic Run but she called Grump solely because of his bad attitude and tendency to be crabby. She managed to get through Grump's ride without getting bucked off or bit and Lively's was a blast. It reminded her of why she was a jockey.

"Ready to get your ass kicked in the Adirondack today, Griffen?" Adam Broyer teased as she walked back to Abram's stabling. He was a fellow jockey and they'd become good friends when Ashleigh had moved to Saratoga Springs six months before.

Ashleigh laughed and reached back to untie her long dark brown hair and fixed it back into it's pony-tail. "Who beat whom last week?" she asked.

Adam brushed it off. "It was luck. But this week I'm on Delta Blues. That filly can run, let me tell you."

Ashleigh nodded. "I saw her a few days ago. But so can April." Bobby had just started training April Mist two months ago and Ashleigh had instantly been charmed by her docile personality and willingness to please. She also had lots of speed and heart. She was a fine racehorse.

"May the best filly win." Adam said in parting.

"Don't worry, April will." Ashleigh laughed at his expression and turned to give Roman a carrot. He'd been bathed and groomed. The smell of his apple shampoo had been mixed with the usual scent of hay, horse, and leather. "Hi my beautiful boy. Ready to run tomorrow?"

Roman snorted and went back to his hay. Ashleigh chuckled and went to the next stall, Lockin' Lady. The three year old filly was around 15.2 hands, small for a Thoroughbred, with a shimmering black coat, four socks, and a white blaze. She was a good horse but she'd never do anything spectacular in her career. But Ashleigh still loved her.

At twenty years old she was the mother of a nine month old baby girl, Rylen Marie. She'd gotten pregnant when she was eighteen, had Rylen when she was nineteen, acted as a groom while she was pregnant and when Rylen had turned three months they'd moved to Saratoga Springs and rented a cottage not far from the track. For the past six months she'd been a jockey under Bobby and trying to establish a name away from Kentucky. She hadn't been to home since she'd found out she was pregnant, she'd called once to let her parents know that she was okay but otherwise she hadn't talked to them. She hadn't told them where she was even though they'd asked. She was also suffering separation issues from Wonder. At the thought of the chestnut filly Ashleigh felt an ache inside deepen. She missed her more than she'd thought possible and she'd vowed to go back and see her a thousand times but she had yet to do it. She had responsibilities here now, she couldn't just jet back to Kentucky. And besides how would she explain Rylen?

She'd never told her parent's about their granddaughter. She knew they'd ask who the father was and she just wasn't ready to explain that part. She'd kept it hidden inside, those few months that they'd been together. She'd never told him about his daughter and if it was up to her, which it still was, he'd never know.

"Griffen, quit your day dreaming' and get to work." Bobby barked behind her. "Why don't you make yourself useful and take April for a walk?"

Ashleigh nodded and grabbed a lead shank and clipped it to April's halter.

"Rider's up" The announcer called to the field of jockeys. Ashleigh placed her helmet on her dark head and allowed Bobby to give her a leg into the saddle. She clipped the straps on her helmet and took a deep, steadying breath.

"I want you to get her out there quick," Bobby told her firmly, his blue-grey eyes solemn as they always were. "She can take the distance, don't let her get any further down than third. Got it, kid?"

She'd been riding all of her life, she'd ridden Wonder to a win when she was fifteen years old. Did he really think that she couldn't ride a race? Screw him.

The post parade went by in a blur as Ashleigh went through exercises to get her body ready for the strenuous minute and a half she was about to face. She glanced at the crowd and froze when she saw a familiar face in the crowd. The height, the dark features and those mesmerizing blue eyes full of fire. There was a girl on his arm, a pretty blond with blue eyes. She felt a sting prick against her heart but she made the firm decision that she wouldn't allow herself to think about anything other than the race before her. April deserved that.

The bell clanged and ten thoroughbreds lunged forward, ready to fight and jostle their way to first. Ashleigh did as Bobby said and brought April to the front, still being careful to pace her enough so she'd have something left at the end. April tossed her head and tugged at the reins but listened when Ashleigh held her back.

Amarillo was coming up behind them, a big gray that was known for her ability to leave horses in the dust in a flash. Ashleigh gritted her teeth and hunkered down further over April's slim shoulders. There wasn't any way she was going to lose this race. Especially not with Brad watching. He'd tell her that she'd lost it or that she'd never had it.

They passed Jackson's Girl and Petty Peggy with Amarillo dogging them. Ashleigh kneaded her hands on April's withers, feeling the filly spring forward as they turned the corner. Amarillo was closing in but April wasn't ready to give up yet. It was another furlong till the finish and Ashleigh felt ever fiber in her body pushing April win, her determination and grit skyrocketing. April flashed across the finish line a nose in front of Amarillo.

Her dark hair was still damp from her shower, her skin still moist. She'd applied a little make-up and dressed in a white beater and gray shorts. Ashleigh walked over to April's stall and gave the filly a kiss on the forehead. "That was one amazing race today, girl. I'm so proud of you."

She gave the filly a carrot and then stroked Roman's neck, giving in to the big chestnut and letting him have a carrot as well. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was close to seven, she had to pick up Rylen soon. "See you guys tomorrow."

Rylen was waiting for her. She was leaning against Mary, one of the supervisors for the daycare, standing on chubby legs. She turned her head and grinned when she saw her mother. Ashleigh felt her heart melt a little in her chest. "Hi, darling." she said as she picked up the small child. "I missed you today."

"She was a darling." Mary said as she stood and handed Ashleigh the diaper bag. "A real sweetheart."

Ashleigh smiled and tickled Rylen's tummy. "I think so, too."

"I need some more formula and diapers." Mary said. She was a heavy lady, Hispanic, and she always wore bright pink lipstick and a faint purple eye shadow. Ashleigh liked her. She took care of Rylen for her when she needed help and always had the perfect remedy for a cold.

"I'll get them to you in the morning." Ashleigh promised. She said good-night to Mary and tucked Rylen in her car seat and then carried her down the stairs. The first person that she saw came as a shock to her. The familiar gray hair and eyes that sparkled like firecrackers. The velvet cap and the style of clothes that never seemed to change. Charlie Burke. "Charlie." she said, stunned. She hadn't realized how much she had missed this old man until the moment she was face to face with him again.

"Hey, Missy." he said but his eyes were cold despite the nickname he'd come up with for her years ago. "Long time no see."

"Yeah, it's been awhile." she shifted the car seat higher in her hand and for the first time Charlie noticed Rylen who was staring up at him with big blue eyes.

Charlie knelt and stuck his hand in the car seat. Rylen grabbed hold and grinned at him. Charlie's features softened. "She yours?"

"Yes." Ashleigh tried not to be nervous but she felt like such a failure. Charlie, whom she'd always looked up to and respected and had always wanted to be respected, had found her little secret. The reason she had run all that time ago.

"She got a name?"

"Rylen. Her name is Rylen." Ashleigh set the car seat down and she too knelt by her daughter. "How is everyone?" she asked after a few seconds hesitation.

"Good, good. Pride's doin' great. He's doing a lot for Townsend Acres right now."

Ashleigh had left right after she'd made sure that Wonder and Pride had a home at Townsend Acers and that they'd both be safe there. "And Wonder?" It seemed so strange to be asking someone that could give her a straight answer about the mare that she loved so much.

"Great. Real great. The new breeding manager took a real big liking to her. They get a long real well." Ashleigh felt a pang of jealousy. But what right did she have? She'd left Wonder. Charlie took his hand away from Rylen and looked at Ashleigh. "She's the reason you left, isn't she?"

Ashleigh looked at him and then at Rylen. "I couldn't tell anyone, Charlie. I was so ashamed." She bit back the sting of tears and the lump in her throat. She had finished crying over this a long time ago. Nine months to be exact when a little girl had taken the sting of the pain away.

"Crying over spilt milk don't do you any good." Charlie said but handed her a handkerchief regardless. Ashleigh dabbed at her tears and handed it back to him. "She's that Townsend kid's, ain't she?"

Ashleigh nodded, unable to look at him.

Charlie blew out a breath and straightened. "I see why you left."

Ashleigh stare up at him. "Charlie!"

"You hungry? I saw a diner down the street. You might feel a little more comfortable there. Little less chance of being seen by people you don't want to see." he said looking over her shoulder.

Ashleigh glanced over her shoulder and saw the Townsend crew behind them. She saw the red head of Samantha McLean and Jilly Gordan. Ashleigh swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded. "Sounds good to me."

They ordered burgers and fries. Ashleigh fixed Rylen a bottle and gave it to her while she told Charlie the whole story. She managed to get through it without crying and he didn't say a word.

"It's going to be all right, missy. So long as you face up to what you've done."

Ashleigh nodded but felt the pit of uncertainty in her stomach.