A/N: Once upon a time, there was a Stocking Stuffer Author Auction in which participants offered to write a 2,500 word holiday themed one-shot for the highest bidder. I placed myself on the block, and my fairy godmother, IkilledKenny, appeared with her magic wand and, once again, turned rags to riches for truelovepooh. IkilledKenny was then generous enough to tie a bow to my head and give me to Iwannahorn as a Christmas present. Between the three of us, we cooked up this little idea for a story. All on my own, I managed to turn this 2,500 word one-shot into another monstrosity. Once I started, it just wouldn't stop. This story has consumed me for the better part of a week, and I fear it may take nearly as long for people to read it.
It is complete, but for obvious reasons, I cannot post it as a one-shot. I have broken it into chapters, but intend to post them all at once so that they flow together. This story was written for Kenny, Iwanna and Pooh, but I hope that it makes the holiday season a little brighter for all of you. Getting to know many of you over the past year has been the best gift of all. Wishing you and your families safe and happy holidays! Mags
Partridges, Doves and Hens
Monday, December 25, 2000 – Christmas Day
"I thought we'd never get out of there," Lorelai whined for the fortieth time.
"Yes, I know," Rory answered dutifully.
Lorelai turned to glare at her daughter and said, "Oh, come on, tell me that wasn't four hours of torture," Lorelai scoffed.
Rory simply shrugged and said, "I wouldn't say torture."
"You liked that? The hours of carefully unwrapping tastefully wrapped presents? The bazillion course meal? You're seriously telling me that you wouldn't have rather been curled up on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and Bing Crosby?" Lorelai demanded.
"Um, Bing isn't really my type," Rory said with a smirk.
"Not tall, dark and floppy haired enough for you?" Lorelai quipped.
"Flirt with any nice teachers lately?" Rory shot back.
Lorelai sighed and said, "No, not lately."
"Sorry," Rory answered, instantly contrite.
"Rory, I promise, if anything had actually gone on between me and Max, I mean Mr. Medina, I would have told you, really," Lorelai said quickly.
"No big deal," Rory said with a dismissive wave. "Hey, can you drop me by Lane's for a little while? Her cousin gave her a new Cure CD cleverly concealed in a copy of Plague and Pestilence," she explained.
"The sequel to Pride and Prejudice?" Lorelai asked with exaggerated interest. "Sure," she said as she turned to head toward Kim's Antiques. When she pulled to a stop, she noticed that the lights in Luke's were on. "Hey, is Luke's open?" she asked with a quizzical frown.
"Looks like it," Rory commented.
"It's Christmas Day," Lorelai pointed out unnecessarily.
Rory shrugged and said, "Luke is always open on the holidays. He makes dinner for everyone who doesn't have a dinner to go to, you know that."
"Well, yeah, I know about thanksgiving, but I didn't know he opened on Christmas too." She glanced at the clock on the dash and said, "And it's late. Doesn't he do the Thanksgiving thing earlier in the day?"
"I don't know, I guess so," Rory said as she reached for the door handle. "I shouldn't be too long. Pop the popcorn and tell Bing I'll be with you guys in a little while."
"Call me and I'll come and pick you up. It's too cold to walk," Lorelai told her.
Rory jerked her chin at the diner and said, "I bet there's coffee on in there, think of it as a Christmas miracle."
Lorelai's eyes widened as she gasped, "You're probably right! You are brilliant! I didn't believe it when everybody said so, but I sure do now," she teased.
"Thanks," Rory grumbled as she rolled her eyes.
"I'm going to Luke's. If you see the car when you get done, just meet me there," Lorelai instructed.
"Be nice, it's Christmas," Rory reminded her mother as she climbed from the Jeep and let the door slam shut behind her.
Lorelai watched until she was sure that Rory was safe and warm in the Kim's house and then pulled around the square to park in front of the diner. She grabbed her purse, and scanned the windows as she climbed from the car. She opened the door with a perplexed frown and stepped into the deserted diner. When he heard the bells above the door jingle, Luke stepped out of the kitchen wiping his hands on a towel. "Hey," he greeted her.
"Hey. Merry Christmas. I can say that to you now, since today really is Christmas," she added, pointing a stern finger at him. Lorelai walked over to the counter and set her purse on the stool next to her as she watched Luke pour a large mug of coffee for her. When he set it in front of her without a word, Lorelai blinked in surprise and asked, "No commentary? No arguing? No rant?"
"My present to you," Luke said gruffly.
Lorelai looked down at the coffee mug and then back up at him. She frowned and said, "Seems wrong and vaguely disconcerting. Can you at least tell me that it will stunt my growth?" she asked, cocking her head at him.
"And eat away at your stomach lining," Luke added with a nod.
"Much better," Lorelai breathed, flashing a relieved smile as she reached for the handle on the mug. "So, busy day?" she asked as she glanced meaningfully at the empty tables.
"It was earlier. Well, not busy, but I had a few people," Luke amended.
"So, do you do Christmas like Thanksgiving? You just cook everything and whoever shows up shows up?" she asked.
"Pretty much," he answered, busying himself with wiping down the already spotless counter.
Lorelai watched him, her eyes drawn to the fine dark hair that covered his forearms. "That's a nice thing to do, Luke," she said as she wondered if that hair was as soft as it looked.
"Well, most of them eat here regularly, so it's the least I can do," he said with a dismissive shrug. He looked up and found her staring at him. "You okay?" he asked.
Lorelai snapped out of her trance and shook her head as she picked up her mug and took a quick sip, burning her tongue on the scalding liquid. "I'm fine," she said too quickly, wincing as she rubbed her tender tongue against her teeth.
A small smile tugged at his lips as Luke grabbed a cup and scooped some ice into it. He slid it across the counter without saying a word and turned to the back counter, straightening the already perfectly aligned appliances and supplies as Lorelai fished a cube from the cup with two fingers and popped it into her mouth. "You go to your parents'?" he asked.
"Yep," she replied, shifting the ice cube from one side of her mouth to the other with her injured tongue.
"That good, huh?" he asked with a chuckle as he turned back to her.
Lorelai tucked the ice cube into her cheek. "My mother gave me three sweaters in three of the most putrid colors you have ever seen. And, as a special bonus, she bought them two sizes too big because she said that all of mine appeared to have shrunk in the dryer," she reported.
Luke snorted and said, "That's ridiculous."
"I know. Everyone who has ever laundered clothing knows that sweaters don't go in the dryer," Lorelai said as she shifted the cube to the other side of her mouth. She watched him, wishing that he would turn away again so that she could spit it into a napkin, but her luck seemed to be holding steady at none.
"I meant it's ridiculous to purposefully buy a gift that you know the person you're giving it to will hate," Luke said as he pressed his palms to the edge of the counter and leaned into it with an exasperated sigh. "Your sweaters fit you fine," he said without thinking, and instantly regretted it.
Lorelai bit back the quick comment that sprung to her lips as she saw the color rise in his cheeks. "That's my mother. Now, she has the added pleasure of knowing that I'm going to have to stand in line to return those sweaters. She knows I will because they came from Nordstrom's, they're very expensive, and made from this incredible downy soft cashmere. The only problem is that the yarn was apparently chosen by a color blind glaucoma patient," she added with a shrug. Lorelai forced the remainder of the ice cube down her throat
Luke chuckled and said, "Wow, color blind? The glaucoma wasn't bad enough?"
"Just making my point," she answered. "How about you? Any family trauma to report?"
"Nope," Luke said with a quick shake of his head, pushing away from the counter to busy himself with refilling the sugar and sweetener packets.
"None at all? You're making me feel like a loser, Luke," she chided him.
"Sorry."
Lorelai toyed with the handle on her mug, twisting the cup back and forth, watching the dark liquid swish in the bowl. "You know, when I was little, I really wanted the Partridge family to adopt me. I wanted to ride around in the bus, and I bet I could have played the hell out of that tambourine," she mused.
"What would they have done with the little girl?" Luke asked without looking up.
"Tracy? Oh, she would have played the triangle instead. She would have been great on the triangle," Lorelai asserted. "I mainly just wanted all of those brothers and sisters. The Partridges, the Brady Bunch, I was so jealous. I wanted someone to share a little bit of the heat, you know?" she said, a hollow laugh escaping her lips.
"Siblings are overrated," Luke grumbled.
Lorelai watched him wipe down the salt and pepper shakers employing a tad too much attention to detail. "You have a sister, don't you? I think I heard that somewhere," she said murmured.
"Yep."
Frustrated by her inability to engage him subtly, Lorelai gave up the pretense. "You didn't see your family today?" she asked bluntly.
"Nah. We don't do that," he answered as he began to wipe the napkin dispensers spaced along the counter top.
"See, now, anyone else might think that was sad, but to me that sounds like heaven," she said in a teasing tone.
"I have a sister and a nephew. Once a year, I get an early Christmas card from Liz asking for money to buy Jess presents. Sometimes she slips a school picture in there just to seal the deal," he said gruffly, not daring to meet her sympathetic gaze.
"Do you send it to her?"
"Sure, why not?" Luke shrugged as he tossed the towel onto the shelf below the counter and rubbed his hands together to dry them.
"Well, I wouldn't know since I never had a sibling, but everything I've seen on TV tells me that things should be different," Lorelai said stiffly, feeling oddly protective of him.
"I know that this flies in the face of all that you hold dear, but life is rarely like what you see on TV," Luke said dryly. "Liz and I are okay. This is what we do. She screws up, I fix it. We're both comfortable with that," he told her.
"You deserve better than that," Lorelai said softly, unaware that the words were spoken aloud.
"Well, you deserve nice sweaters that fit," Luke replied, ducking his head quickly and searching for something else to keep him occupied. He spotted the pie under its glass dome and without asking, lifted the lid and began to plate a piece.
"Hey, um, Rory and I are gonna go home and watch White Christmas, you want to come over?" she asked suddenly. Luke's hand froze as he transferred the pie to a plate and he looked over at her in surprise. Lorelai flashed him a nervous smile and sang, "Snow, snow, snow, snow, snow!"
"That, right there, is reason enough for me to say, 'no, thank you'," he said with a smirk.
"Seriously Luke, you should come over. We make popcorn and watch all of the Christmas classics, kick back, and forget that we just spent the last four hours trapped in the seventh circle of hell," she said with a grin, warming to the idea now that she had a moment to think it through.
Luke looked over at her and did his best not to flinch when he saw the pity clouding in her bright blue eyes. "No. Thank you, though. I'm good here," he said quietly as he slid the plate down the counter to her.
The bells chimed and Rory stepped into the diner, red cheeked and breathless. "I had to escape the gospel according to Luke by running to Luke's," she panted as she closed the door.
"That's what all the good heathens do, Sweets," Lorelai assured her as Rory claimed the stool next to her. She cut off a hunk of pie with her fork and said, "Thank you God for pie," before popping it into her mouth.
"Good Christmas, Luke?" Rory asked as she shrugged out of her coat.
"Yep," Luke answered as he placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of her. "You?"
"Very good," Rory said with a grin. "It would be better if I had some pie, though."
Luke smiled and began to slide a piece onto a plate for her. "I tried to sucker Luke into coming over to watch movies with us, but so far my charms are wasted on him," Lorelai reported.
"You should," Rory said with a nod. "When they sing the snow song Mom likes to toss popcorn in the air because she thinks it simulates snowfall."
"Wow, special effects," Luke said drolly.
"It's spectacular," Lorelai said soberly.
"I have to open tomorrow, but thanks," Luke said with a nod of acknowledgement. He listened to them chatter as they plowed through their pie. When they finished, he poured two large cups of coffee to-go and pressed the lids onto them tightly.
"You trying to kick us out?" Lorelai asked as she eyed the cups he placed in front of them.
"Nope, just figured you'd want to get to it," Luke answered easily.
Rory slipped her arms into her coat, grabbed her cup and held her hand out to Lorelai. "Give me the keys and I'll go start the car," she ordered.
Lorelai handed her keychain over with a grin. "It's good to have a flunky."
"I bet," Luke said as he watched Rory close the door after her and trot over to the Jeep.
Lorelai slipped off of her stool and began to put on her coat. Luke watched as she pulled her hair free from the collar and glanced down to fasten the buttons, trying to resist the urge to reach out and touch the soft curls that swirled over her shoulders. She picked up her purse and set it on the counter as she dug for her wallet. Almost of its own volition, Luke's hand shot out to still hers. "Merry Christmas, Lorelai," he said quietly.
Lorelai stared at his hand for a moment, mesmerized by the long fingers that covered hers. "Merry Christmas, Luke," she said softly, looking up into his dark blue eyes.
Luke pulled his hand away and cleared his throat softly as he shoved both hands safely into his back pockets. He rocked back on his heels a bit and said, "See you tomorrow."
"Count on it," Lorelai answered with a smile. She took a couple of quick steps back, and then turned to hurry for the door.
"Your coffee," he called to her.
"Oh yeah," Lorelai said as she rushed back to the counter and snatched up the to-go cup. "Best Christmas present ever," she said with a grin.
"Yeah, well, don't say I never gave you anything," Luke joked.
"I'm serious. This is right up there with the Hello Kitty alarm clock that Rory gave me," she said as she backed toward the door once more. "You're a heck of a guy," she called as she reached for the handle.
"Your sweaters look good," he called back as she opened the door.
Lorelai's head whipped around. She gaped at him for a moment, but then her shock melted into a pleased smile. "Good how?" she asked. When he didn't answer, Lorelai said, "Thanks for noticing," and then fled through the open door, letting it slam shut behind her as she hurried for the car.
"Anytime," Luke murmured as he watched her circle to the passenger side of the Jeep. "And every time," he muttered under his breath as he reached for his towel and began to wipe the counter where they had sat moments before.
Tuesday, December 26, 2000
The following day, Lorelai strolled out of Le Chat Club, pleased with the exchange she had made. She peered down into the bag and admired the Hello Kitty pot holders she had selected after returning the feral looking set Babette had given her. Not watching where she was going, she accidentally plowed into Luke as he walked out of the stationary store. "Oh, hey," she said as she stepped back, reaching for his arm to steady herself for a moment. "Sorry," she said as she quickly dropped her hand.
"No problem. You okay?" he asked.
"Got Hello Kitty pot holders, so yes, all I need now is world peace and I'm set," she told him with a nod. "What are you doing, hitting the after Christmas sales? Stocking up on pretty ribbons and bows for next year?" she teased.
Luke held up the bag clutched in his hand and said, "Scored some terrific number ten envelopes."
"Ugh, you win again," Lorelai laughed.
"How were your movies last night?" he asked.
"Good, the usual. Bing binged and Rosemary Cloonied. They're all still following the old man," she said with a shrug.
"You coming in for lunch?" Luke asked.
Lorelai shook her head and said, "Gotta head to Nordstrom's. There's a spot in the return line with my name on it. I just hope that I don't faint from hunger before I can get to the pretzel place," she said worriedly.
Luke smirked as he reached into the pocket of his worn old army coat. He pulled something out of his pocket and said, "Here, this should hold you," as he held out his hand.
Lorelai opened hers palm up. "A Rueben?" she asked hopefully. She smiled widened as he dropped two foil wrapped chocolate bells into her palm. "Wow, first coffee and pie and now candy?" she said in an awed tone. "Dove chocolates, no less. I love Dove," she cooed as she inspected them. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously and asked, "Who are you and what have you done with my friend Luke?"
"I was in the bank and Marcie had a bowl of those on the counter. She kept pushing them, so I took a couple to shut her up," Luke said gruffly.
"There he is," she said with a grin. "Glad to have you back."
Luke rolled his eyes and said, "I have to get back."
"See you later," Lorelai called as he walked toward the diner. She looked down at the chocolates in her hand, and then back up at his retreating back. She cocked her head and watched him walk away, wondering how she never noticed how broad his shoulders were as he watched him turn sideways to slip past a knot of post holiday shoppers.
"Lovely isn't it?" Patty purred as she sidled up next to Lorelai.
Lorelai quickly closed her fingers over the candies he had given her and turned to Patty as she asked, "What? The decorations?"
"I didn't mean the flora, sweetheart, I meant the fauna," Patty drawled as Luke disappeared up the steps to the diner. "That boy is useful as well as decorative. It's a wonder some smart girl hasn't snapped him up," she said leadingly. "Gotta run, I hear that the Christmas shop in Woodbridge is having a 75% off sale, and I want to get some of those big glass ornaments to hang from the rafters next year. You know that there's nothing I like better than nice big balls!" Patty cackled as she hurried on her way.
Wednesday, December 27, 2000
"Man I don't want to go back to work today," Lorelai whined as she dropped down into a chair and leaned forward letting her forehead drop to the formica tabletop.
"Do you want me to write you a note?" Rory offered.
"I want coffee and food," Lorelai muttered from under the curtain of her hair. "Where's Luke?" she whined as the man himself approached.
"Right here, and get your head up off of the table," he growled.
Lorelai turned her head, flicked her hair back with her fingertips and glared at him with one eye. "I'm too weak," she moaned.
"It's unsanitary," he hissed. "People are trying to eat, and your hair is all over the place."
"I don't see you wearing a hairnet," Lorelai said as she sat up and then promptly slumped down in her seat to pout.
"Hat," Luke grunted as he tapped the blue cap she had given him.
Lorelai blinked up at him and asked, "You mean that's not just a fashion choice?"
Luke rolled his eyes and asked, "You gonna order?"
"I want pancakes. And sausage. The link kind," Rory said quickly.
"Regular or blueberry?" Luke asked as he wrote her order on his pad.
Rory pursed her lips as she pondered her options and then said, "Regular. I don't seem to be in a blueberry mood," she determined with a nod.
"You?" Luke grunted as he turned to Lorelai.
"French toast, bacon, a gallon of syrup and three gallons of coffee," she ordered.
"I'll bring you some juice," Luke said as he spun on his heel and stalked away.
"They should do something about the service in this joint," Lorelai grumbled.
"It's not Luke's fault that you want to stay home lounging in your pajamas all day."
"But I didn't get to lounge yesterday, I had to brave the mall," Lorelai said indignantly.
"Also not Luke's fault," Rory retorted. "Plus, look at the pretty blue one you scored," she said as she gestured to the snug royal blue cashmere sweater that peeked out from under Lorelai coat.
Unappeased, Lorelai crossed her arms over her chest and said, "Well, something has to be his fault."
"I'm out of the Texas toast bread," Luke told as he approached with two coffee mugs and two small glasses of orange juice.
"I don't want Texan toast, I want French toast," Lorelai said smartly. She stared quizzically at the juice glasses and pointed to them as she said, "I thought that was a joke."
"Nope. The Texas toast is the thicker bread I use for the French toast. I only have three slices left," he said with a shrug.
"How is that possible?" Lorelai gasped.
"Well, when your bread guy comes down with the flu I guess anything is possible. I'm expecting a meteor strike any minute," he said dryly.
"But, but, I need French toast," Lorelai said as she gazed up at him imploringly.
"I can give you regular bread," he offered.
"No, that's not French toast," she scoffed.
"Same stuff, skinnier," he insisted.
"Diet French toast?" she asked incredulously. "Are you saying I'm fat?"
Luke sighed as he glanced around the busy diner. "I don't have time for this, Lorelai. Tell you what, I'll make the three slices, cut them on a diagonal, and then you'll have six," he said, getting agitated.
"That's cheating!" she gasped.
"I'll sprinkle them with powdered sugar, and throw in a couple of eggs. That's my last offer," he said firmly.
Lorelai looked up at him and batted her eyelashes as she shrugged out of her coat, letting it fall over the back of her chair. "Over easy?" she asked in a flirty voice.
Luke stopped breathing for a moment, trying his best to keep his gaze on her face, and not on the rich blue sweater that made his fingers itch to touch. "Apparently I am," he grumbled as he headed back to the kitchen.
Lorelai grinned at Rory and said, "Okay, I'm awake now."
Ten minutes later, Luke appeared with an armload of plates. "Pancakes, link sausage," he said as he set two plates in front of Rory. "Eggs over easy," he said as Lorelai shoved the napkin dispenser away to make room for her plates. "Side of bacon," he murmured as he set that plate next to the eggs. He placed the larger plate in front of her. Lorelai looked down and grinned as she saw that the three slices of thick French toast were snowed under by powdered sugar. "Three French toast," he pronounced gravely.
She looked up at Luke and met his expectant gaze with a beaming smile of approval. "Just like the French Alps. Thank you."
Luke nodded once, and moved back toward the counter to retrieve the coffee pot and make the rounds.
tbc