Title: Viewpoints
Disclaimer: all i really own, are the emotions, imagination and a straw cowboy hat.
Rating: PG-13 for now
Pairing: Spencer and Ashley.
Summary: Just the beginning, there's nothing you should be warned about so i dont feel the need to ruin the chap with a summary
A.N.: Special shout out to David Ives in this chappy. as i 'borrowed' a few of his lines from "the universial language." and pre thank you for you patience as this one wont make much sense to you yet. Just a warning, it will most likey confuse you for the first three, but it will make sense, just trust me.

"Who am I? I'm a young self-conscious girl with a stutter. Age? 25. Dress? Flowing moo moo and a cardigan that matches a little too well. Disgustingly ugly high heeled shoes, that are neither high nor heeled. Plastic rimmed spectacles that take up 80% of my face. Over sized broach on my left shoulder. Hair? Big, and I'm not talking 1980's fashion big. I'm talking "holy shit look at that fuzz ball! What is that, a poodle on her head?" That kind of big. The kind of big that will embarrass you in five years as you look over photos in your mothers kitchen. But I like it. It's who I am and it's what makes me comfortable. I like to hide beneath the swells of clothing.

"My gaudy jewelry makes me feel like a queen. It's safe and always next to me. It's the one thing I trust. It wont hurt me only help me. I dont know how or when it will, but it will. I know it. My mother gave me this jewelry when I turned 21. It had belonged to my grandmother, Eunice. She left it to me when she died. I was twelve at the time. It devastated me. Nana and I were very close. We used to sit and play cards forever. Rummy, Hearts, Bridge, Nines, Black Jack, Hold 'em, Big Two, War, you name it we played her necklace makes me feel close to her, even if it makes me look out of date.

"I was the closest to Nana. When she died I boxed myself off from the world. It didn't really seem like the kinda place I wanted to live in. So, I didn't. That didn't lead me to a very well adjusted adulthood. I barely know how to talk to any one, ever, about anything. I'm just as well though, no one would want to listen to me talk. Bumbling along for two minutes and barely speaking one sentence. I'm not sure where that came from. The rest of the family speaks clearly, precisely, perfect to the point that makes me want to vomit.

"What kind of family did I come from? A uniquely different one. My mother and father were the youngest in their families. My mother, the youngest of seven. My father the youngest of nine. I have 30 first cousins from my mother's side, and 50 from my fathers'. But, I am an only child. One mansion, one swimming pool, one game room, one dog, one cat, one maid, one butler, one Nanny, one car, one kid.

"Singular serenity serving soul-less Stan and Sarah and their daughter Dawn. So, how did I interact with my family? I didn't, post childhood. Before that I had only Nana and Julie the nanny. My parents the socialites, rarely had time for me past age 7. Talking was a formal occasion, usually painful, as I was constantly berated for my inability to speak. The majority of my time was spent in textbooks and journals. By graduation in 1999, I'd memorized every edition of the MLA handbook since freshman year, quoting it front to back to front again to the amusement of the entire English department.

"My love affair for rules order and the ever changing beauty of written language led me down a road my parents did not want for me. I'm not one for imagination, so I didn't want to be a writer. I can't be a public speaker, and that limited me severely. Editing though, that's the ticket. I make a great editor.

"Did I have a well-adjusted home life or were there many conflicts? The day I told them I wanted to be a copy editor there were. There have been ever since. My parents go on about affording me any and everything in the world. Being able to pay for any education I wanted, for any degree I wanted, but wanting to simply correct the grammar of others.

"I still hear about it. Not in a demeaning, "What have you done? You've ruined the life we built for you," kind of way but they constantly go on and on at the better life I could have if I switch firms, or take this internship, or be the assistant on that project and so on. I just smile and nod my head, reluctant to speak, as the stutter stops the poignancy of my choices from coming across.

"Four years of high school were followed by four years of college, and I'm half way through two years of post graduate studies. I plan to stop there. I could keep going, but our family doesn't need another doctor. It would also lead to public speaking, and that's where I freeze. No point in getting my doctoral degree if it's only going to collect dust at my parents house.

"I'm a very in ward person. I tend to keep my feelings buried deep inside of me. Lately though, I don't know. I see people walking down the street and I want to talk to them. I want to say yes when Karen who sits two desks behind me asks if I'd like to go dancing on Thursday nights. I want to have the courage to speak to Walker the copy guy.

"I want to tell him that 'the establishment can kiss my ass" too. Ok well maybe I won't say it in those words, but you catch my drift. I don't want to be afraid to live any more just because I have trouble speaking.

"That's why I'm here. This guy Don Finninneganegan, he's going to help me do that. His ad in the paper says this method is fool proof. Which is good, that means any fool can use it. That's why I'm down here today, and nothings going to stop me this time. I will not talk myself out of it, like I have for the past three weeks. I'm actual going to go in, and change my life. Learn the universal language and leave the stutter behind. Lick Unamunda, da linkwa looniversahl!

"I think it will give me confidance. I hope it will help lessen my stutter. I know it scares me to death. But at least it's one on one, I don't have to embarrass myself in front of an entire room of strangers. That's a plus. Actually, that's the only reason I've been contemplating this.

"I hope Mr. Finninneganegan, isn't a creep. He sounded nice on the phone, even if I couldn't really understand what he was saying. I wasn't put off though, in a week or two I'll understand him perfectly. I really am excited, even if I'm scared to death.

"My appointment is at six o'clock, I have about ten minutes to get there. It's on the lower east side. I hope that's not a sign or something.

"No, not its going to be good. It's going to be good. Today, Dawn will meet Don and I will change my life.

"Iago doppa diddly anda, dusa doopa doppa diddly anda? Oop scoopa diddly bop, iago scoopa bop da-wow! Iago doppa diddly anda, dusa doopa doppa diddly anda? Oop scoopa diddly bop, iago scoopa bop da-wow! Iago doppa diddly anda, dusa doopa doppa diddly anda? Oop scoopa diddly bop, iago scoopa bop da-wow!"

"Ms. Carlin?"

"What?" She snaps back at the assistant stage manager. "Don't you know it's rude to disturb an actor while they are preparing?"

"I'm sorry. I just, needed to call places."

"Thank you places."

Bouncing on the balls of her feet she chants.

"Nerdy, nervous energy, shy, flower like, child.

Nerdy, nervous energy, shy, flower like, child.

Nerdy, nervous energy, shy, flower like, child."

Letting out a deep sigh she goes. "Let's hit the boards."