Warnings: Yaoi, angst, character death, perhaps OOC, and AU. If you don't like yaoi or ItaNaru, please hit the back button now. :)

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

I held back a scream as the silence consumed me. It was as though I was suffocating, everyone around me watching with blind eyes, listening with deaf ears. I wish someone, anyone, would listen to me, and I want to be heard. But no, they would never listen to me, not even if it was the last words I said with my dying breath. Sakura is too busy with finding Sasuke; Kakashi is too overwhelmed with grief of the past. The others all have something more important than me, something they pay more attention to.

I went through the idea yet again, to leave and never come back. It was much more tempting than going through another day of abuse and hate. Opening the door to my apartment, I looked around and took off the Genjutsu I use when others are around. Instead of looking nice and clean like it usually does, I'm looking at graffiti, scorch marks, and blood…my blood.

Putting down my things on what is supposed to be my bed, I looked out of the shattered window to the city. Children were laughing, couples were smiling; I watched sadly, a part of me wishing I could be like them but knowing that I never could. This wretched demon trapped inside me prevented me from living a normal life.

Everyday I just want to get this voice out of my head. I constantly live with whispered promises of blood, torture and death. The sadistic taunts, to make me kill and massacre, to gain revenge on those who have wronged me; and I yearn for it, to let my nails become claws, my teeth to become fangs, and to tear apart the weak flesh of those around me. To have the feeling of their hot blood on my hands, the metallic taste of their blood in my mouth, the hatred consuming me.

Looking towards the horizon, I watched as the crimson moon made its way into the clouds, painting the sky an eerie red. With one last forlorn gaze, I made my way to the bathroom, and turned on the shower. I let the water glide down my pale, scarred skin, shivering slightly from the coldness. I traced over my scars with my fingers, mentally reliving the experience in which each one came from.

I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist and stared in the mirror. Those deep blue eyes that stare back at me are empty and dull, void of life. I look at my scarred cheeks, a symbol for who I am, and my cursed fate. Angrily I punch the mirror, watching as the fragments fly and become embedded in my fist. I compare the new cracks in the mirror to ones from previous times. The area destroyed was much larger than the others I noticed as I put my hand under the ice-cold water from the sink, washing away the blood.

After bandaging my hand, I sat on my windowsill, merely staring off into the distance. I heard a raven caw in the distance, and I smiled sadly. The stillness of the night always had a way of calming me, for reasons unexplainable. It was as if the unknown predator in me awakens every night; perhaps it's the demon. One thing I was sure of though, I wanted out. Maybe it would be better if I turned myself in, I pondered. I decided to turn to the last place anyone would expect…I was going to the Akatsuki.

I had absolutely no idea where I was going, or where to find them. Perhaps if I let the demon out they would come and find me. Although it was not the most inconspicuous of ways, it would work. I let down all the barriers I had mentally set up between the demon and myself, and gasped as I felt the chakra that was hot like fire pulsing through me. I had felt it before, but not so wild and untamed. It was simply enthralling. I let the feeling consume me as I felt my skin being continuously burned off my body, blood coating the rapidly regrowing skin and my teeth and nails growing sharper and longer. I felt primal, and invincible.

I wasn't aware of my surroundings anymore, the scent of blood surrounding me as I tore through everything close to me. Vaguely I saw cloaked figures approaching and I attacked them, subconsciously knowing they were who I was waiting for but I didn't care. Suddenly it felt as though all the life was sucked out of me, and I collapsed, the demon's chakra receding into my body. I screamed in pain as my body, raw from the lack of skin, hit the ground. I felt something being wrapped around me before I was hoisted into the air, presumably in someone's arms.

We traveled for hours, and I had no idea where we were. All I could see was the darkness of the cloth in front of my eyes. When the pace finally slowed, I smelled the dreary scent of caves, the moist air was cool. I felt myself being laid down and restrained. As the cloth was removed from my eyes I looked at each Akatsuki member. Their emotions varied as they stared down at me from their spots on the statue's fingers. All at once they began chanting and I continued to watch them.

The peace was over soon enough when the full force of the extraction jutsu hit me. The events of my life flashed before my very eyes. All the acts of betrayal, the feeling of pain and torment, the beatings, the hatred, the abuse, the rape, everything that had ever happened I relived. I screamed until my throat was raw and dry. My voice fading in and out as blood trickled out of my mouth. The pain of having something that has been a part of you since birth being torn away by force is the worst pain in the world. With every tug at the demon's essence, a small part of my life was torn away.

Two days this agony continued. I was conscious the whole time, almost constantly screaming. I felt the presence of the jutsu that had been clawing from me retreat and I let out one more strangled cry before the ability to even think coherently was lost. Random emotions and sensations flowed through my body, unable to make sense of anything; I welcomed the black and comforting embrace of unconsciousness.

The first thought that went through my head when I woke up was pain. Everything hurt. I sat up and grabbed my head and I noticed my hand had more scars then before. The room I was in was plain but elegant. The dark colors accented the bare walls, and the small decorations gave the small room some life. Soft silk sheets that were smooth and pleasant to touch adorned the bed I was on. A figure sat at the desk toward the far side of the room, their black hair cascading down their back contrasting with their navy blue shirt.

"So you're finally awake… Naruto-kun." As soon as the voice made its way to my ears I knew who it was. Uchiha Itachi. He continued, "Do tell me what possessed you to let the beast within you run rampant and wild, causing massive destruction to local peaceful villages."

"I wanted to find you all. I was tired of life in Konoha. All the lies and betrayal, and painful memories…" I shook my head and looked away avoiding either the look of pity or disgust that would be aimed at me.

"What did you expect to find with us? Death? Escape? Or perhaps, an alliance of sorts?" His strong voice rang in my ears with its accusations.

"I'm not sure. An alliance is tempting, even though I never thought of it before." I watched as he stopped working and turned around to look at me, the crimson red of the Sharingan boring into my eyes.

"We have already tried extracting the demon from you, but the extraction process was a failure. I'm sure you would be more useful as an ally than a prisoner. The leader has already informed me that if you were interested in an alliance I should give you this." I took the cloak that was handed to me. It was the traditional Akatsuki cloak. I looked at the ring on top of the cloak; it had the kanji for "south" on it.

"The ring was previously Kisame's, he died while we were trying to tame you in your demonic state. The ring goes on your left hand's ring finger and you will be taking his place as my partner. Starting immediately." I merely nodded in acceptance. His words held no emotion, even when mentioning Kisame's death. Perhaps he is as cold hearted as I was told.

I wrapped the cloak around my body and slid the ring on my finger and watched as he continued working. His hand made smooth and elegant movements most likely forming flowing kanji that would put mine to shame. I don't know how long I sat like that, simply watching, but it was apparently a fairly long amount of time as he made a remark about it.

"Do you enjoy watching me as I fill out my report? Or perhaps you have learned how to sleep with your eyes open." Itachi's voice was so monotone, I almost didn't realize what he said was a joke.

"I have nothing to do." I replied. I watched him gesture to a bookcase full of books. I raised one eyebrow wondering why I had never noticed them before. Standing, I walked over to them and picked one off the shelf randomly and opened it. After skimming its contents I soon realized that this wasn't a book but rather his journal. My eyes widened as I reached the date that he massacred his clan on.

I have been ordered as my final assignment as a Konoha shinobi to exterminate my family. Their resistance to the Hokage has lead to the fear of a Coup De'tat. It will be difficult and emotionally straining, but I will succeed because it is my mission. Instead of remembering all the kindness they have shown as I kill them, I will remember all the pain and cruelty they have inflicted in the life of that one child. Everyone calls him a demon, but I have seen his eyes, so full of sadness. The demon they all believe him to be felt a great hatred. Their own hatred and grief blinds them and makes them ignorant to the fact that he is but an orphaned child. Through all the torment he has remained pure, and for that I envy him. My soul has been tainted with every life I take.

I couldn't read the rest of the entry for it was stained with blood. However, the fact that Itachi had been envious of me made me wonder. Not only that, but the massacre of his clan had been the order of the Hokage. These revelations made me question everything I had ever been told about Itachi. I glanced over at his hunched figure at the desk, unfazed as part of my world crashed down around me. I put the book back on the shelf and sat back down on the bed.

"Itachi…" I started; he turned around and faced me, telling me to continue with the silent gesture. "Why did you kill your clan?"

"I don't think that is any of your business." Itachi became defensive his crimson eyes narrowed. I cringed inwardly, far too used to that look. I then watched as he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as his eyes landed on the blood-stained book in my hand. "You read my journal didn't you, Naruto-kun?"

He stood and walked over to the bed as I nodded once in response, his figure looming over mine. I sat perfectly still as Itachi reached one of his hands out, cupping my cheek gently. Part of me expecting a blow, I subconsciously flinched away and he frowned at this action.

"There is no need to fear me, although you have been lead to believe that I only want to hurt you that is not true. In fact, that is the last thing I would want to do." I watched as the crimson glow of the Sharingan faded into ebony black as he spoke these last words to me. We sat there for a while, a silent message passing between us. Abruptly Itachi removed his hand from my cheek, the familiar warmth that I had grown accustomed to in the short amount of time, lost.

At that moment, I don't know what possessed me, but I reached out and grabbed his wrist loosely. He and I both knew he could pull away easily if he wished to. Instead Itachi stopped and stood there. Slowly I let my hand go lower until I was holding his hand with my own. It stayed like that for a few seconds before he slowly moved his own fingers so that they twined with mine. As quickly as that happened it was undone, and my hand was left empty by my side as I watched his figure leaving through the doorway.

I blinked, my blurry vision focusing on the surroundings. I don't even remember when I had fallen asleep, or how long I slept, being underground removed all limitations of day and night. I heard the sound of breathing to my side and I glanced at the figure that lay next to me on the bed. Unsurprisingly it was Itachi, his long hair free from its restraint and now freely falling in his face. I gently brushed the strands away, his skin cold against my hand. His lips were a pale pink, not the normal hue of most people, but fainter giving him a more death-like appearance. My fingers skimmed over them, and slowly I leaned down, my lips hovering above his until they made contact with each other in a barely noticeable kiss. My eyes widened when I felt his lips moving.

"Do you not have the courage to do this when I am awake, Naruto-kun?" Itachi asked as he opened his eyes peering into my own; I gasped and pulled away. "Do memories of the past prevent you from making your own future? Are the unkind words of those that came before me so powerful that you doubt every move you make?"

Accusation after accusation made me pull farther and farther away. The words themselves harsh in nature, but the voice they were delivered from soothing and curious. I wanted to run and avoid this confrontation like I had done with so many others in the past, but I could not.

"What do you know of my past, Itachi? The past horrors that plague my life and prevent me from moving on and allowing a true smile to form on my face?" I looked at him.

"I know they were many and they were terrible. But they are the past and you must let the past become faded memories as you make a better future for yourself."

I let one tear be shed as I listened to his words. He brushed the tear off my cheek and I looked into his eyes. I put my head on his shoulder as his fingers combed through my hair in a soothing manner. Itachi moved my head and kissed my lips tenderly, and I kissed back. It wasn't one of love, but one between two souls who share tragic pasts seeking comfort in the other.

Pulling away, I let the tears fall silently down my face, landing on my lap. It was as though I was washing away my past with these tears, promising a better future. I felt Itachi's arms wrap around me, my tears staining his shirt, and I closed my eyes and I allowed myself to sleep. For the first time in my life, I allowed a slight smile to make its way upon my face, and I felt safe.

I have returned from my long period of absence with good news! I am almost halfway done with my multi-chapter fic, after restarting from scratch about.... 7 times. So, since I have such a large portion of it done finally, I should hopefully be able to begin posting it by January :D

But about this one shot. It was actually for a Fanfiction contest at my school's anime club, and was limited to five pages. So I hope you enjoyed this oneshot and look forward to "The Wanderer".

Edit: I put the journal entry in italics, which I originally though I had, but apparently not. Also, I altered the scene with Itachi looking at the journal a little clearer, and hopefully better. :) Many thanks to Twinfetish for pointing these things out to me!

Ja Ne
~Keshra