The day had started out so well.

He'd woken before his alarm clock, feeling unusually well-rested and content. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact Jack had been too tired to get up to his usual tricks the night before. Ianto enjoyed the adventure that came from sharing a bed with Jack Harkness, but really. Even the polished, unruffled archivist-slash-tea boy has to sleep sometimes.

He'd made breakfast for both of them, coaxed Jack out of bed with gentle kisses and promises of fresh coffee and toast. Outside the sun had been shining bright, chasing away the clouds that hung over Cardiff for three-hundred-an-sixty-four days of the year. Birds were singing in the trees as they walked to the car, the whole scene ridiculously idyllic in the morning sunlight.

He probably should have realised then, Ianto mused darkly as he attempted to scrub sticky, violet sludge out of his hair. He worked for Torchwood, dammit. No day that started well was ever going to end well.

The door to the shower cubicle opened and Jack slipped inside, trying without much success to stifle a grin. Ianto scowled at him, wiping suds from his forehead as they trailed dangerously close to his eyes.

'Violet suits you.' Jack offered unhelpfully, reaching for the shampoo. He lathered it carefully into Ianto's hair, and left it to soak, picking up the soap and turning Ianto round with a gentle hand. The younger man leant against the wall with a sigh as Jack lathered up his hands and ran them over Ianto's tense shoulders, thumbs working artfully into the knot between his shoulder blades.

Yes, Ianto thought, almost falling asleep. He should have known that something terrible would definitely happen. Although in retrospect, the day had continued to be deceivingly beautiful for the longest time. The sun had shone, the rift had been peaceful, and everyone seemed to have taken the opportunity to get the work done that Ianto had been nagging them about for weeks. Even Jack had sat down to try and unearth his desk from beneath the Mt. Everest of paperwork which covered it. Ianto had offered to go find him a spade to help.

He had narrowly ducked the boot Jack had aimed at his head, escaping up to the tourist office and spending a pleasant hour ticking tasks off his list as he completed them. There was something wonderfully pleasing at seeing a long line of precise, neat little ticks mark his to-do list. He'd opened the tourist office for a couple of hours – it never hurt to cement their cover after all, and just recently there had been a complaint to the local paper about 'that bloody tourist office never being open – you'd think it was the entrance to a secret government base or something!'

He'd then spent a pleasant ten minutes chatting to a trio of young siblings – a boy in his early teens, scowling and trying to look grumpy at being landed with his siblings for the day, but not quite managing to hide his protectiveness, a polite, cheerful young girl who seemed well-practiced at dealing with her older brother, and a happily gurgling baby which she held perched on her hip, his chubby little fists waving in the air. Ianto had helped them find a leaflet of things happening in Cardiff that summer, pleasantly surprised at the friendliness of the young, pre-teen girl. He'd waved at them through the window as they left, feeling strangely touched.

Of course it wouldn't last.

The rift had picked the perfect moment to explode, just as Ianto had been about to take a walk across the plass to buy dinner. They had all piled into the SUV, following the co-ordinates to an old warehouse on the docks – fortunately abandoned – and had fanned out in standard procedure.

The alien had been humanoid, Ianto was fairly certain of that in the brief second he had seen it. Long braided hair had fanned around it in a riot of rainbow colours, shifting gently in what appeared to be a private electrical field. He probably would have been able to note more than that – it always made it easier when it came to writing up reports and filing them later if he'd got a good look at the alien – when the bloody thing had rushed him and pinned him against the wall.

Jack had shouted, lunging forward, gun raised, the rest of the team assuming similar poses, however the alien had drawn no weapon, nor done anything to harm Ianto. Instead it had…

…kissed him.

A frozen, shocked pause had followed, during which the alien let out a happy little sigh, taking a step back, and…exploded.

Ianto groaned silently, letting his head hang between his shoulders. Jack snickered softly, kissing the back of his neck. 'There. All clean – although it may take a while to get the violet tint out your hair.'

Ianto cracked open an eye.

'What was that thing?'

Jack leant back under the spray, unashamed of his nakedness as he soaped his hair. 'A Trygon. They're an…interesting race. Kind of like a cross between a 1940's hippy, and a religious zealot. They spend all their lives in prayer and study, until they feel they are ready to join their god in the next world. Then they…well…'

'Throw themselves at unsuspecting strangers?' Ianto deadpanned.

Jack nodded, lips twitching. 'They believe that the perfect death comes from…well, from a kiss.'

Ianto groaned again, aloud this time, head hanging. Jack snorted, patting him on the shoulder.

'Look at it this way – it wouldn't have picked you if it hadn't thought you were cute.'

'Oh that's a great relief.' Ianto snapped, snatching his towel from the hook and snapping Jack with it. 'Gerrout!'

Jack fled, laughing, barricading himself in the next cubicle in order to dry and dress. Ianto scrubbed his hair dry and pulled on the jeans and t-shirt he kept in his locker for emergencies. His PDA jittered on the bench and he picked it up, frowning as a tiny video popped up.

The CCTV footage played in slow motion, replaying perfectly the Trygon's expression of bliss as it stepped back and exploded in slow motion, showering Ianto in electric violet gloop. It zoomed in on Ianto's stunned, goldfish expression, and froze the frame, a line of text appearing under his face.

'PWNED'.

'OWEN!!!!'