Thanks for the reviews!!!! I'm really going to try with quicker updates, and I hope with this chapter you amazing reviewers can get me too two hundred reviews!!!!

Okay so if there was any confusion with the end of chapter thirteen, I am here to clear it up. Bella was walking by the water, when the water became familiar from when Victoria messed with her, it's like a memory and it's consuming her so she is not in a state of mind… there was never any intention to kill herself.

I wanted to write Bella and Carlisle's conversation over the phone but when I wrote it nothing sparked so that's why I left it out.

Okay another shorty (I know… GRRR!) but I really want to play this out but would help to say that the chapter fifteen will be a longer one.

Chapter fourteen: Lost

The water was inches from touching my face but I just kept staring at it. It was like being dazzled by Edward. I smiled brightly and kept walking into the water that was now cold again. Once the water touched my chin my legs went out and I went under not wanting to come back up.

My body felt tired as I slowly but surely opened my eyes. My vision was blurred; I shut my eyes again hoping for sleep to take over for a few more hours. The thought was nice, while it lasted.

"Bella," A deep voice echoed. The voice was familiar but not Edward.

"Bella, I know you need your rest but we really need to talk."

Then it all came back to me "Carlisle," I said warily. "It's Bella, I need your help." I shot up from my resting place and came face-to-face with Carlisle.

"Bella are you okay?"

I stared at Carlisle with wide eyes. He actually came. I furthered myself away from the bed but kept my eyes on Carlisle.

"You came…" I looked away from Carlisle and took notice to my other surroundings. A single bed, a stand next to the bed with a lamp and a late nineties version of a telephone. There was a TV across from the bed and a closet near the TV, the room was completed with a mini refrigerator and door which I assumed led to a bathroom; we are in a motel. I asked the obvious anyways.

"Where are we?"

"We are at a motel outside of Seattle." He said in his usual vampire demeanor. Which was no movement or breathing as his vision stayed focused but yet concerned on me.

"How did I get here?"

"You don't remember?" Carlisle finally moved and in one step was standing in front of me. He looked more apprehensive now.

"I remember calling you, telling you I need your help… telling you why I needed help and everything after that is blank."

"It did not take me that long to get to Willow Harbor after you called me. When I arrived I immediately followed your scent. Bella you were on the beach, in the water… Bella you were drowning."

After several more minutes of nothing Victoria finally moved. I felt the need to cry or yell but I would not give her anymore satisfaction. In one swift movement Victoria stood me up and with the tap of her finger I fell forward and landed with a fierce splash in water…

"NO!" I yelped and stood up and reached my hands to my head as to block away the memory but instead my warm hands touched my hair which was damp.

I ran my hand through my hair then brought my hand down my neck to touch my shirt; which I just now realized was also damp. I stared at Carlisle in shock looking for some more answers.

"I saved you… I brought you here, and well I was too afraid to change you out of your wet clothes so I just let you sleep. I-"

"What about Dr. Morgan?"

If anything Dr. Morgan should be the one thing pushing me over the edge. I tricked her, stole her cell phone, and most likely due to my action had half the mental institution searching for me right now.

"I took care of Dr. Morgan," He said coldly. "But you are going to have to go back to Willow Harbor."

Not exactly the answer I was looking for but Carlisle was right. I called him for help, to help me so I can get the help I need in Willow Harbor. Though things might not go smoothly once I returned, I could not even imagine what Dr. Morgan thought of me now.

"How did you take care of Dr. Morgan?" I asked wearily.

"It's better if you don't know the details. Let's just say I talked her out of anything drastic." Carlisle smirked at me and I could only assume that it was for my benefit.

"Carlisle-thank you. Thank you for coming. I really do need your help," I felt tears begin to filter in my eyes. "I need help, I REALLY need help. There is no way I can be free of the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder…"

Carlisle gasped when I said Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but I pushed that aside because no one except my parents knew why I was in Willow Harbor.

"…I'm going more and more crazy everyday because I'm not getting any help. There is no way I can talk about what happened. I'd be sent to straight jacket if vampires were even mentioned and I would never tell anyone about you and Esme and… Edward..."

"If there is one thing I know Bella is that you would never tell anyone our secret." Carlisle seemed proud as he said this.

"If you were planning on telling anyone you would have done it before now."

He was right and no matter were was I was in life I would take there secret with me till death.

"Carlisle… I don't even know were to start… to tell you anything. It is very hard for me. I've only just now started opening up to Dr. Morgan."

Not only was I afraid of telling Carlisle about what Victoria did to me I was afraid of what he might do and with the possibility that he would tell Edward… What would Edward do if he found out?

"Well before we talk about anything can I assume that you'd like to get a shower and change out of you wet clothes?" Carlisle walked away from me and grabbed a duffle bag that sat in front of the closet.

"Alice sent th-"

"Alice!?"

"She is the only one that knows I'm here right now." Carlisle confirmed my fears before I could even think them and was not even a mind reader.

"Okay, just as long as it's Alice."

Carlisle handed me the bag. I looked through it. There was a small variety of stylish clothes, shampoo-conditioner and soap made by brand name that I could not pronounce, a hair brush and a few other necessities.

"Take a shower and freshen up, then we must talk."

I did just that. I stepped out of the shower twenty minutes later smelling like strawberries and some other scent I could not identify but it was nice. It felt good, a change from Willow Harbor were metaphorically no one smelled good.

I brushed my hair and teeth. Then put on some new clothes. Alice had a stylish pair of jeans and three different tops, and a stylish pair of sweat pants. I went for the sweat pants and the simplest shirt. I had to wonder what the look on Alice's face was when she put the sweat pants in the bag. Just thinking about thought also made me sad. There were many things that made me angry with the Cullen's – most of which dealt with Edward, but I missed them a lot.

I missed a lot of the things in life, and being out of Willow Harbor was really getting to me in a good and bad way.

Being away only fueled me to skip everything and just stay away for good but in the end running away would just make things worse.

Lastly I looked in the mirror and despite the new clothes and a very refreshing shower I was still the same. Plain, boring, tired, depressed and most of all… Lost.

Next chapter on it's way and feel free to berate for the shortness but remember chapter fifteen is a long one.