The time had finally come. For a Konohamaru and Orochimaru fic. Oh yes. You heard me right. While I understand the love and desire that everyone has for Chiyobaasama and Sakura, there are other couples that need attention as well. It wouldn't be fair to continuously leave them as filler and complementary couples. Honestly.

One day, Orochimaru was walking through Konoha. Like he always does. Dressed as the fourth Kazekage. This was a long time ago, obviously. While traipsing about and buying pretty flowers for pretty little boys, Orochimaru noticed the most fabulous little boy yet. Guess who it was!

It was Konohomaru.

Surprise.

Orochimaru couldn't believe his eyes. What was this delightful little creature? "My little love muffin," Orochimaru said, taking after Chiyobaasama. "What are you doing here?"

"Who are you?" Konohamaru said.

"I killed your grandfather."

"Oh," Konohmaru said. He could have sworn the Kazekage was, you know, dead.

Thus, they began their epic love for each other. As Konohmaru intended to make Orochimaru pay for his grandfather. But ended up falling in love with him instead during the course of their first lovemaking session. He was only 11, he couldn't help it. It's called insanity.

--

Later on, when Kohonomaru was older, he looked at Orochimaru and said, "We should get married."

"Oh," Orochimaru said, taking his member out of Kabuto. "Do you really think so? You would have to carry my babies."

"I would love to carry your snakey babies," Konohamaru said.

Kabuto could not help but glow with jealousy. And also pride. His little boy was growing up. Konohamaru was like a son to him. That he sometimes slept with.

It was a little fucked up in the Orochimaru lair.

Meanwhile, Chiyobaasama and Sakura were totally having sex with a strap on.

Anyhow, the big day came for Konohamaru and Orochimaru to get married. It was the most precious day of their whole lives together. Everyone came to see them get married. Naruto and Sasuke. Chiyobaasama and Sakura. And nameless ninjas. And you know, filler people that won't actually make an appearance in this story.

When Konohmaru was saying his vows to Orochimaru, he stared into Orochimaru's deep, wise eyes filled with love and lust and adoration and power. "I will love you forever, Orochimaru. I can't believe you picked me when I was so little and didn't even know what a hard-on was. But you taught me the ways of being a homosexual. And now I'm practically flaming. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. I might have grown up to marry someone normal like a girl. Ew," Konohamaru shuddered.

Orochimaru licked Konohmaru's cheek with his long tongue. "Never you fear, my little maplesyrup, I will protect you from the heterosexuals. Notice I didn't invite any to our wedding. They aren't allowed to come within ten feet of you. Lest you go back. I would kill you if you did that," Orochimaru said lovingly. "Now let's go fuck."

Naruto looked at Sasuke and shook his head. "When we get married, let's not say our own vows," Naruto suggested.

Sasuke couldn't have agreed more.

The end.