Title: Prime Doesn't Get Sick Days

Rating: G

Characters: Optimus

Summary: 'Looks like you missed a spot, Mighty Megatron.' '…Shut up, Starscream.'

--

Optimus sat stiffly on the filthy floor of the Decepticon brig, more embarrassed than he'd ever been in his entire life. (Barring that one time Dion had deviously mentioned how much 'wanna-be tough guy Orion' doted on sparklings when he thought no one was looking. Ariel's friends had awww'd and cooed whenever they saw him for orns afterward.)

He should have known better than to go charging into battle when he knew the minor virus hadn't fully left his system. Oh well. His Autobots would stage a rescue mission soon enough. Optimus couldn't help feeling a little sorry for Megatron - if the warlord had thought it difficult to maintain control of his unruly subordinates before, his loss of dignity that day would increase his problems exponentially.

Still, Megatron had unknowingly contributed to the situation. With the wicked deeds that Prime's cruel opposite number had performed, it was no wonder that his raspy voice would make Optimus queasy.

When he'd doubled over groaning, his enemy might have achieved an unexpected, undeserved victory if he'd just shot Prime instead of pausing to gloat. Out of habit, Optimus had mumbled a warning for the other mech to back away while his fingers fumbled for the pressure points that would release his mask. Megatron merely sneered, and took a step closer to observe his enemy's discomfort.

Well, he'd tried to warn him. After sober reflection on past actions, which a stint in a small cell often encourages, Optimus didn't regret what he'd done at all.

And Megatron's expression when Optimus lifted his head and spewed half-processed energon in his face had been simply priceless.

Optimus idly tapped his fingers against his leg. For once, he appreciated Laserbeak's all-seeing optics. Perhaps Blaster had some new recordings of Earth music with which to bribe Soundwave…

--

"Transaction: Complete. Images: Transferred."

"Good doin' business with ya, Soundwave. Still can't believe that a stiff-necked 'Con like you appreciates the power of good ol' rock and roll."