A/N: I'm sorry for the long delay in this story. I must admit I have suffered greatly from writters block. So I hope there are still some people out there who are interested in this story.


Chapter 4 – Is it time to move on?

It was three months later and Addison was feeling a lot better, she had stopped craving Valium and she had no desire to drink alcohol again. The children had moved back into the house which she was so happy about. Being completely sober she had begun to realize just how stupid she had been. She missed them desperately and wanted to spend as much time with them as she could, making up for all the time she had spent sleeping whilst using Valium as a coping mechanism.

Alex had not moved out of the beach house though. It wasn't really discussed. He knew Addison was definitely over the worst of it and could cope alone, but he kept telling himself she needed him. Deep down he knew he needed her just as much.

Coming home at the end of the day to a woman he cared about, actually in all truthfulness he didn't really know what his feelings for Addison were, it was all a little confusing and blurry. So in true Alex form he chose to ignore whatever it was he was feeling. It was the whole package he loved. Coming home to Jack and Matilda arguing over toys or taking them down to the beach to play, made his life brighter. He couldn't explain it to himself let alone anyone else.

So he stayed. Addison hadn't asked him to leave so he never volunteered. The four of them co-existed for three months. As unconventional and strange to the rest of the world, to the four people involved it felt calm and safe. Something none of them had felt in a really long time. It was after an evening with Violet, Pete and their two children that questions were asked and Addison began to re-think things.

"Addison, this is none of my business, please just be careful. You and Alex seem so attached to each other, I just think someone is going to get hurt."

"Nothing is going to happen. We are friends that's all he is still helping me and the children love having him there."

"I know they do, and that worries me. It's like he is filling Kevin's shoes and he is playing dad."

"That is not true!" Addison said indignantly. "Jack and Matilda's father is dead, that can not be re-placed, not by Alex or anyone else. The children love Alex because he is Alex not because they view him as their father's replacement."

"I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you. I just see the way you all connect together and you just seem like a family. You don't want the children to get too attached to Alex. The ramifications of seeing another male figure leave their lives could cause real damage at their young age. Just be really careful Addie."

"Good night Violet." Addison said as she left for the day. I need to think about that. Maybe I have been so caught up with my own stuff I haven't considered the children.

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A few weeks later and after much observation Addison decided that she needed to ask Alex to leave. She was scared, he had been there for her, seen her through bad dreams, agonizing withdrawals and yet he still stayed how could she tell him to leave?

"Alex I um I want to talk to you about something. Have you got time?"

"Hey, you sound serious. Is everything okay?"

"I'm not sure, but I think we need to have a talk."

"Um sure, let me just take up Tilda's doll, she will only come down looking for it." Alex said as he picked up Matilda's favourite doll.

Addison gave him a small smile. God this is going to be so hard.

"Okay, she is settled now she has her doll. So what is it?"

"Do you think we are dysfunctional?"

"What? Um well I actually don't think I know anyone who isn't." Alex said in all seriousness.

"I mean you and me, and our living arrangements what are we doing?"

"Nothing, I came to help a friend out, that's it." Alex said getting a little nervous.

"Well Alex I'm all better now, thanks to you and I am seeing a really good grief and drug counsellor and I umm, God this is hard I think that maybe it's time you went home."

"You want me to leave?"

"Not really. But Alex come on I can't be dependent on you forever. I'm also scared that the kids are just getting too attached to you and the longer you stay the harder it is going to be when you do leave."

"I would never do anything to hurt you or the children." Alex said. He didn't want to show his panic but the thought of going back to living alone and being so empty inside was rising up and scarring the shit out of him.

"Oh God Alex I know that. I just think I need to stand on my own two feet."

"Are you sure you are ready?"

"Alex, I don't for 1 minute want you to think that I am ungrateful, but I think that it's time for both of us."

"I'm happy to go back to my apartment; I can get back to my normal life. Who knows I may even get laid again." Alex said convincingly.

"Oh I see." Addison said.

"Um let's see, I could move back over the weekend if you like."

"Oh you don't have to go that soon."

"No you are right, you can stand on your own and it will be good to get back to my own apartment, start getting my life back to normal." Normal, yeah fantastic, staring at the walls when I get home from work, being miserable and lonely. Yeah normal sounds great.

"Um okay well we are still going to see you. I mean we can still go out for lunch and you can still come over for dinner and stuff." Addison said. She too was beginning to panic a little at the thought of Alex not being around every day.

"Yeah we will still see each other, but maybe you are right, we need to get back to our lives. Besides how else are we going to meet anyone if we are always together?" Alex said.

What am I saying? I don't want her dating anyone else. I don't want her dating anyone other than me! Whoa what the fuck? I want to date Addison. Yes you moron you are in love with her.

"Yeah of course. I mean I don't think I'm ready to date yet but you certainly should." God what am I saying I don't want him dating anyone else. Fuck what have I done, Alex please stay, I want to be with you. Oh God yes I think I've fallen in love with you.

"You are right. I should start dating again. Izzie is in the past and it's time to move on. Maybe I should think about taking a trip to Seattle. Facing the past and all that."

"Maybe that is a good idea. I see the sessions with Violet are helping." No! you can't leave. I want you here with me.

"Oh shut up." He said with a small smile. I'm going to miss her.

"You know I think a trip to Seattle might be good for me too. Just for a vacation, I think it would be good for the children and I do still have some friends there."

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A few days later, Alex had moved back to his apartment and resumed his life, such that it was. He missed Jack and Matilda more than he thought possible. But the realisation that he had fallen in love with Addison was what really took him by surprise. He also knew that she wasn't ready for a relationship and he still had a few demons he needed to face back in Seattle.

Addison was still coming to terms with her feelings for Alex and still didn't know what to do about them. Was it too soon after Kevin's death? Was it too soon after her recovery? She needed to be brave and talk to Alex. Perhaps he didn't feel the same, or maybe he did.

The decision was made for her because just as she had gotten up the courage to talk to him it was another month later and Alex was saying his goodbyes and making his return to Seattle.


A/N: I hope you enjoyed that chapter. Any suggestions are more than welcome. Reviews will make me smile!