Title: He Was Never Mine
Rating: T at best, most likely PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just playing with them
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Tim/Julie, Tim/Lyla at the beginning
Author's Notes: I really need to thank Black Purple Roses for her help and patience. Apart from her beta skills, she also needs to be praised for giving me the courage to finally post that story I've been working on for so long.
Synopsis: Nearly ten years after leaving high school, Lyla reflects upon Tim and how he found his match in Julie. Told through Lyla's POV, with some flashbacks.

It was just your average morning. Lyla woke up at seven in order to polish a paper that was due in the afternoon, but she didn't feel stressed. She had done a good job; she had plenty of data to back it up: everything was just perfect. She was going to ace that class, just like she was going to get her degree easily. Sure, it felt a little weird, being the oldest student (or that was what it felt like) of her promotion, being 27 and all, but there was no way she would ever regret postponing going to college in order to spend 6 years in India building all those houses.

People made fun of her when she announced her project, and she was told on more than one occasion that being a Christian didn't mean she had to devout her life in such an extreme fashion. Though, that was to be expected from small-town people. Sure, their football team rocked and made them part of the sport circuit but when it came to any other type of sensibilities, they remained small town people from Texas, as cliché as it might sound. They really thought she was going away to prepare her path to nunnery but she just went looking for herself in India. After Jason had been hurt, and after their relationship went sour, she needed to mourn a future she had pictured for herself ever since she was 12. It took her a long time to realize that was what her trip was about, but in the end, she just really needed to deal with the consequences of Jason's injury. It wasn't until she found herself in Mumbai that she really saw it, and it took even longer for her to grasp that concept.

She would always cherish the time she had spent in India: when nobody had cared that she was Lyla-freaking-Garrity. But when her mother had remarried and her father had been injured in a car accident, she had felt like she had to come back to Texas and complete her education. Her brother and sister were growing up and they needed their older sister not to be a complete stranger, so she went to A&M. She was pursuing a psychology degree and hoped to find a job in some kind of shelter to be able to help lost people finding their way again.

Mrs Taylor had always been such a great help for her whenever she came to her, looking for a piece of advice or just a general clue about life. People thought that Lyla's religious awakening had made her immune to life and death considerations, but it hadn't. Her faith was her strength, something that helped her remember that she was one of God's children, and that whatever was happening next was His will, but in the end, the future was still a scary prospect. Knowing that you were supposed to go through one's trial was a thing, but knowing whether you were going through it the right way was never assured. Lyla was really looking forward to being able to help others the same way she had been when she was younger.

After getting herself a coffee refill, Lyla grabbed the day's newspaper and started browsing it. World news was always depressing, so she just peeked at it before opening the local section. She was delighted to find a small piece about her father's expanding business. Santiago had gotten a degree at the local community college and then had gone to work for Buddy, becoming his best salesman and his most trustworthy ally. When Buddy had felt like he was becoming too old to keep it running by himself, Santiago had offered to take on half of the business and everybody benefited in the end. He had been bringing new blood to her father's beloved car ownership deal, and the transition had been a smooth one.

God blessed Santiago, he had really been an angel in disguise, and she could never have foreseen how important he would have become to her father. He had been the one thing keeping Buddy from going crazy after her parents' divorce, but she hadn't seen it until later. She had been too pissed at Buddy for his extramarital affair, topped by regular teenage-y resentment she had felt for both her parents, to see how lost her father had been. Santiago had helped him find his way again, becoming his priority for a while, when he had needed his attention to be distracted from the mess that his family life had become. Santiago had been a true blessing. He had taken care of her siblings as if they were his own while she had been in India. He had even coached Lil' Buddy all the way through high school, and when he had made on the football team, the young Mexican had been as proud as Buddy himself.

She knew that her father still nursed the hope that his eldest daughter would realize what a catch that young man was and marry him, making him Buddy's son-in-law. Tabby hadn't fallen in love with Santiago even though she was the Garrity girl he had met the most, but that was easily explained by the fact that she had fallen in love extremely early, with a younger boy named Bo. It had been a Dillon scandalous match because of the age difference, but it hadn't caused a ruckus comparable to the one made when the whole town had discovered the truth about Tim Riggins and... Well, that was a story for another time, Lyla thought, her heart beating madly. She briefly cursed herself for behaving like a 15-years old, and tried to get back to her reading.

She was browsing the art section (how could they refer to summaries of the latest tabloids as "art"? She couldn't figure) when her roommate finally emerged from her own bedroom. Holly was, all things considered the best roomate Lyla had been paired with so far. She was quiet, didn't throw any wild parties and didn't bring back too many boys. She was majoring in science and was very focused on her grades. The first few months, the two girls had simply cohabited together, in a comfortable manner, and they later started talking and getting to know each other more.

"Good morning!" Holly exclaimed; half yawning while seating she seated herself with Lyla at the kitchen's table.

"Sleep well?"

"Like a baby, as always. How long have you been up?"

"Half an hour I guess, maybe more."

"Catching up on news and gossip?" Holly asked; glancing at the newspaper.

"Yep, there's a small piece about my father's deal; it's going great!"

Lyla started peeling back the leaves in order ro show her friends said article.

"Wait... Did the Dallas Cowboys win last night? I didn't get a chance to see the results..."

She opened the newspaper at the sport section for her to see, and Lyla couldn't help but grimace when she saw the main picture. It was showing Tim Riggins in his football gear, with his arm raised in victory.

Holly whistled with admiration.

"What a fine piece of man. You know, I have very little respect for sportsmen; but if this one was to look twice my way, I would totally change my mind and become his most hardcore fan."

" So you tell me each time we come across his picture..."

"Yeah, and you always clam up afterwards, and I'm not sure why? Once, you admitted that you went to high school with him, but that's all I know. What's the story there, Lyla Garrity?"

She sighed heavily and got up to rinse her cup.

"I need to proof-read my paper to make sure it's fine", she clearly avoided.

She went back to her bedroom and got her computer. She brought it back in the living room to get a better internet connection and started working on her paper while Holly finished her breakfast. She checked her emails quickly and saw that she had one from her sister. She almost chocked when she opened the picture attached to it.

"What? What is it? Holly asked, making her way to the computer.

At first, Lyla felt like she was going to hyperventilate, but she quickly got a hold of herself and just sighed.

"It feels like he's everywhere today. I was thinking about home, and I thought of him. His picture was in the paper, and you want to know more about him. It's like I can't fight him or it or whatever. But why today? What makes today so special."

"Who?" Holly asked. "Oh, I see.", she said after glancing at the pictures that had had her roommate breaking down.

She rose to seat next to her friend on the sofa and asked:

"Lyla, what's the story with you and Tim Riggins? Why is your sister sending you pictures of him and another girl?"

"Actually, she's just sending pictures from a party that was thrown back home. And it's a long story."

"If you want to tell me about it, I've got all the time in the world." Holly said. "Do you want to talk about it? I won't force you to if you don't feel like it.

"I know, but I guess him being everywhere is just God's kinda obvious way to tell me to open up about my past. Doesn't He have better things to worry about?"

"What's that Christian saying again? The ways of the Lord…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You're preaching to the choir here. It's just that, in the end, he was never mine…"

Holly got them both fresh cups of coffee before sitting in front of her roommate. Lyla started reminding her about things that she already knew, like Jason's accident and what it had done to their relationship. She learnt about Lyla's first affair with Jay's best friend, Tim, and how badly it had ended.

She then proceeded to tell her about his second campaign to win her heart.

"He showed up at the station where I worked, with flowers, though I never got those. He was just … everywhere. And at some point, I realized I wouldn't have it any other way. I loved how he always was in my face, how I could rely on him. The first time around, we had slept together, just seeking comfort, it was filled with desperation. He had tried to get me to stay with him, but now I know that I only felt real sincere love the second time around. We started dating in senior year, and at first, it felt like it was meant to be. The weirdest thing that happened was that Jason Street actually gave us his blessing? It was unexpected, but at the same time, it had never felt truer."

"Sounds perfect", Holly whispered; "but wasn't it just the honeymoon-phase thingy?"

"I guess it was, in a way, but it didn't stop altogether. It was progressive. When he had gotten in a very bad place with his brother, Tim once found himself living at the Coach's place, with his family. The pictures my sister sent me were taken at a party at the Taylor's house. Tim had gotten chased out of the house for something he hadn't done, but I never learned this tid bit until maybe two years ago. The Coach had misunderstood a scene he had witnessed, when Tim had put Julie, that would be the Coach's oldest daughter, to bed after she had had too much beer over a boy. The Coach thought it wasn't that innocent and had thrown Tim out. He had this reputation…. Well, let's face it, he was a womanizer, Dillon's manwhore, the one girls would always rely on to get laid. Anyway, it wasn't true but Tim had gone back to live with his brother. Yet, he stayed really close to the Taylor family. He even bonded with baby Gracie Bell. The Coach's wife would have him over for dinner at least once a week, but I didn't learn about it until we had been seriously dating for a little less than three months. The Coach's Wife, Tami cornered me at lunch hour and told me that she would be glad if I finally joined her family for dinner the next Thursday, when Tim would come."

"What was she doing at school?"

"She was a counselor there before she got the principal's job."

"She's the counselor who inspired your vocation, right?"

"Exactly. Anyway, she truly had no idea that Tim hadn't been relaying her invitation to me but I went along with the lie or omission Tim had been feeding the both of us and pretended that this Thursday, I would make an effort to be there. When I next saw Tim, I told him about the invitation and my promise to show up. We didn't fight over this, even though it was what I had thought would happen because he just never felt like he had been caught lying. In his mind, he just wasn't, he really thought he was doing all the boyfriend" things and duties, since he sometimes had dinner with my family and I sometimes dined with his brother, Billy and his fiancée Mindy. He just didn't think that his weekly dinner at the Coach's was something we had to do together. I guess or rather I realized later that since we had agreed that we had different routines, with me going to church every Sunday and working at the radio station; and him going to practice and all, he felt like his evening at the Taylors' fell under the "routine" etiquette/label. It wasn't a chore or anything for him, far from it and I guess that's one of the reasons he was so reluctant to let me in on it."

"Did you go to the Taylors' that Thursday? What about the following one?"

"First, let me tell you about that first Thursday. I was really nervous, and as if to spook me more, so was he. Looking back, everything makes sense, but then, oh boy, it just didn't. Ever since we had gotten together, he had been cool with everything, whether to wait until we rekindled our sexual relationship or the fact that I wanted to set rules, but on that day, in his truck, he was so… un-cool. He was fidgety and everything, so nervous, almost as an expectant father is in the delivery room…."

"Like my brother Stu when Pearl was giving birth, I get the picture. That kind of nervous makes me nervous too, and it also annoys the crap outta me."

"Exactly. He was making me edgy, and I also wanted to physically hurt him. The Taylors tried to seem oblivious to the tension radiating from us when we finally made it to their door, but Tami knows best. It's like the most reliable rule in Dillon Country. She tried to make me feel welcome in her home, but it wasn't an easy job, because, obviously, there was a lot of things I had been missing.