Dumbledore coughed lightly, bringing the meeting of the Order of the Phoenix to... well, order.

"Now, as you all know, the Dark Lord Voldemort-" He paused for a moment so that his voice wouldn't be drowned out by the unanimous loud gasp. "-has just recently been reborn through a ritual using the bones of his father, flesh of a servant, and the blood of Cedric Diggory, winner of the recent Triwizard tournament. I must admit, this has me troubled."

He cut off the murmurs that began with a wave of his hand, the very force of his personality demanding silence.

"The truth is... I cannot defeat him on my own. Nay, even with the entire order behind me, I can only fail. That is because... there is a prophecy."

Solemnly, he intoned the words. 'The one who- yadda yadda yadda'. At the end he sat down and began carefully stroking his beard.

"Dumbledore," came an anonymous voice. "Who is the prophecy about? Where can we find him?"

"Not is, I am afraid. Was."

All eyes swung to the Potters, who'd gone wide-eyed and pale at some point.

"H-Harry... so that's why..." Lily stuttered, then began pouring out tears. "He... He would have been in his fifth year..."

James' mouth worked open and closed, but no sound emerged. After a moment, a particularly tactless order member decided to speak up.

"Yeah, well, fat lot of good that does us. Unless I'm mistaken, we're fresh out of infant sacrifices."

James launched himself fists first at the loudmouth. Dumbledore casually popped a lemon candy and gave him a few minutes before breaking them up.

"Now, unless there are any more interruptions? I have a Plan."

The world seemed to tremble at the sound of the forbidden words. Naturally, not a one of the wizards noticed.

"In my studies I came across an ancient ritual, designed to summon entities from other dimensions. It was banned by the Ministry because of a certain incident when a half-trained apprentice modified it and summoned some sort of horrible monster, which rampaged throughout the town as it slowly strangled to death. It could not breath our air, you see. But I'm off track... this ritual seems to be just what we need. All we have to do is summon a Harry Potter from another world where Voldemort-" Ah, the shocked gasp Mk. II. "- has been defeated. Simple really."

There was no real discussion. Dumbledore knew best, after all.

xxx

In another time and another place, Harry frowned and rubbed at his ear. Then ducked under a screaming body that came flying through the hall.

"Tai-chou!" He yelled."You done goofing off with these guys yet? Your paperwork isn't going to just go away if you ignore it, you know."

Zaraki Kenpachi roared something at him that seemed to be equal parts threat and... well, more threat, really. Then he picked up another nearby shinigami and hurled him at him. Harry sidestepped the attack with a sigh, ignoring the squeals as the second man landed heavily on the first as he dropped one hand down to rest on the hilt of his Zanpakuto. He carefully weighed his options. If he attacked, then Kenpachi would undoubtedly mop the floor with him. He was a captain, after all, and Harry was only a few weeks out of the academy. On the other hand, if he didn't show that he was serious enough about dragging the Taicho away from his drinking to do at least a little of his paperwork to fight him over it, then he would never do it.

Such was the lot of an Eleventh Squad shinigami.

Before he could actually steel himself to attack, though, he was distracted.

"Un!"

Kenpachi blinked as he knocked back another mug of some frothy liquid.

"Something wrong, runt?" He asked, not unkindly. For him, at least.

"Uh... Not sure, Taichou. For a moment there, it felt like someone grabbed onto my ear and- Un! There it was again! This isn't funny! If someone's there, then come out right.... Gah! Taichou, it has me by the ba-!"

With a sickening wet splurtchy sound, Harry disappeared. For a moment, Kenpachi could only stare. Then he got up from his seat and waved an arm through the spot Harry had formerly occupied. Nothing. He peered suspiciously into his mug before sitting back down and chugging the lot.

xxx

"-Alls!"

Harry blinked as he was suddenly not where he just was and was supposed to be, but wasn't. And then he wondered if that would sound as confusing if he said it aloud as it did in his mind.

"Ah, welcome my dear boy, welcome."

Instantly his zanpakuto left he sheath, razor edge coming to rest against the jugular of a man who, to be frank, he'd gladly never have met again.

"You."

xxx

"You."

Dumbledore had to admit, he hadn't exactly been expecting this sort of reaction from their brand new savior. The sheer hatred and venom that had been pumped into that single word was staggering. The sword began to dig just a little deeper into his neck, just enough to release a thin trickle of blood... Dumbledore's hand began to slowly creep toward his wand.

"You." The young man repeated, glaring at him with young Lily's eyes. "I don't know how you're still alive. In fact, I don't really care, because I intend to rectify that immediately."

"Now, now, my dear boy... there seems to be some sort of misunderstanding."

"Oh, there's no misunderstanding, Albus Dumbledore." He spat the name out like it was something vile. "Except perhaps to how you're here when I know I sent your soul to the beyond myself."

Dumbledore frowned beneath his beard. This was beginning to look like it had been a bad idea.... well there went his perfect record.

"I'm sure we can talk about this like reasonable adults."

"You want talk? Fine. You arranged for my parents murder. You purposely left me in a home where you knew that I would be neglected, at best. When you finally did get around to taking me out of there, you trained me up as your personal attack dog. You arbitrarily labeled entire families, households, and clans as 'evil' for the most minor of reasons, and set me on them when it suited your political, powermongering needs. And when it suited your needs, you denied all knowledge of my existence and ordered me put to death 'for the safety of the people', even as you were carefully picking out your next pawn. Does any of this sound familiar, 'My Lord'?"

Dumbledore was now certain that this had been a bad idea.

"If you would allow me to explain, young man?"

"You can explain your crimes while you burn in hell. This time, I'll make sure you're dead. I'll cremate your body and salt the ashes. I'll bury the urns in the most distant corners of the earth. I'll-"

"Stupefy!"

One of the stunned onlookers had managed to gather themselves enough to cast a spell. To his amusement, young Mr. Potter had been completely caught off guard, as though he hadn't noticed there was anyone else in the room. Hmm. Perhaps he hadn't, at that.... anger did tend to tunnel one's vision somewhat.

Lily lowered her wand to prod at the crumpled form as she stepped forward.

"Th.... This is what my baby boy would grow up into? He... He's got tattoos, and piercings, and scars, and what is he wearing, and his hair...."

She seemed struck dumb until Dumbledore coughed to get her attention, even as he rubbed self-consciously at the bloodstains in his beard.

"If I may...? This is not neccessarily how young Harry would have turned out had he survived. After all, by his own words, he did grow up without parents, and it seems that in whatever universe he has come from, I am myself radically different from who I am here. If you follow me...?"

"Ah... I see. Parallel universe theory?"

Dumbledore nodded and, with a flick of his wand wrapped the other-dimensional Harry in ropes and bent down to retrieve the sword he'd dropped.

Before he reached it, the hilt began sparking and crackling with arcs of electricity. Dumbledore swiftly withdrew his hand and the phenomena ceased as suddenly as it had began.

Fascinating.

He flicked the gnarled wand again and the blade lifted slowly into the air, before sliding gently back into its sheath. Except that that wasn't where he had directed it at all.

"Curiouser and curiouser." He mumbled under his breath.

xxx

When Harry awoke he was seated next to a small coffee table. Tied to his chair, of course. Although...

"You have returned my zanpakuto."

It was a statement, not a question, and the eyes of the bearded man across from him twinkled. They stopped doing so when he easily snapped the cheap ropes binding him, stood up, and slammed his palms into the table.

"I don't know who you are, or why the hell you're wearing his face, but I'll give you one opportunity to give me one good reason not to gut you where you stand. And don't think you'll catch me off guard a second time."

"Ah... I'm afraid we've gotten off on the wrong foot. Please, allow me to introduce myself." Harry reluctantly sat back down. "My name is Albus Dumbledore-"

At that, he looked very much like he wanted to jump back up and draw his blade again, so Dumbledre quickly continued.

"-However, I daresay that I am not the Albus Dumbledore that you are familiar with, my boy. I am Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I need your help."

After a few more moments of visibly fighting his emotions, Harry ground out a single word.

"Explain."

Dumbledore did. At the end of which Harry was even more visibly enraged.

"So... you dragged me here, out of my own dimension, on what seems to be some sort of deluded whim. I hate you. But send me home, now, and I won't kill you."

"Ah..." Dumbledore sighed regretfully. "I'm afraid I cannot do that."

Harry's zanpakuto cleared its sheath and he raised a hand in protest.

"I said cannot, not 'will not'. I'm afraid, however, that the only way for you to return is to complete the task set when you were summoned."

Harry grumbled but slowly eased his zanpakuto back into its sheath.

"So... what's the task, then?"

"Kill Voldemort."

"Great. Just one more question."

His eyes narrowed at the old man.

"Who or what the hell is 'Voldemort'?"

xxx

A.N.

A oneshot Harry Potter/Bleach crossover thingy. Both are AU, to a greater or lesser degree. In Bleach Harry's world, there is no 'Wizarding world', and Dumbledore was a very corrupt politician type who turned Harry into something like a berserk psycho ninja. One Tom Riddle may or may not have been his immediate predeccessor. Haven't thought up a name for his Zanpakuto, but it has some sort of control over electricity, and he has achieved Shikai at least, but probably not Bankai at this point. He's in the eleventh squad, and for good reason, but gets along reasonably well with the beaurocracy and tries his best to keep the papers being pushed properly. He doesn't neccessarily succeed, but he tries his best.

Compared to that, the other is a pretty standard AU-switcheroo. Harry died, parents didn't, they may or may not have more kids now, etc. etc. etc.

Might be, once he finishes killing off moldy-voldy and gets back, he only manages to stick around long enough to get Kenpachi to do a couple sheets of paperwork before he gets summoned by another HP-verse. Maybe that happens enough that he gets some sort of a reputation for suddenly dissappearing for weeks at a time back in Soul Society, or enough that he snaps and just starts slaughtering everyone in the room he's summoned to before they have a chance to get an explanation out. Or maybe he goofs off and pretends to be someone else, or creatively rearranges his family tree. Who knows. There might be a full story in this little plot somewhere, but that remains to be seen.