Author's note: First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I'm sorry it took so much time to get this chapter up, I went back home for the holidays and didn't take the time to post.

Thanks to all the reviewers! You guys keep me going! However I would like to point out to Huddys fans (and one in particular) that this fic is explicitly HouseCam, so I don't understand why you bother reading it. I respect other fandoms, but if you feel like ranting, go do sports. It's healthier. For everyone.

Finally I dedicate a line of this chapter to Limaccia for a great idea. He or she will know which one.

Disclaimer: I don't own House M.D. nor any of it's characters (this is getting tiresome).

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Cameron threw her bag next to the coat rack then shut the door with a little more force than necessary. Still wearing her coat she plopped herself unceremoniously on the couch. She had put so much energy in finishing her shift, changing and running back home that she didn't have the strength to do anything just yet. She covered her face with one hand and groaned loudly.

They had lost a patient this afternoon. A teenager. He was skating with his friends and ended up impaled on a fence. By the time he got to the ER he had lost an enormous amount of blood , and despite the three hours that Cameron and her team worked on him, he didn't make it. That's how easily he died. Three hours they had tried. For nothing. On the other hand she had enabled to cure a woman she knew nothing of, apart from her medical file.

How ironic could it be.

Maybe she wasn't fit for the ER.

No. Don't even go there. Doubting is not going to help the situation. She has proven her worth countless times. She has gained respect for her professionalism and skills. She has saved many lives. Losing patients is part of the job, especially in the ER. She would not revert to doubt. She had work too hard to overcome her insecurities, so why go back there now.

Oh, come on. You know why. It hadn't been a stellar month. The ER had been a great change at first, but it has practically been a year now, and it was starting to get its toll. She had settled in a routine. However, the ER is anything but a routine. More like an emotional and intellectual roller coaster. One minute you're bored out of your mind treating an endlessly rambling woman who had been speaking on the phone, ironing her blouse and drying her nail polish all at the same time, and had ended up burning her stomach, because she had only been wearing her underwear and had been shocked by her 'oh-my-god-can-you-believe-it-I-mean-like-totally' conversation with her friend. Next thing you know you're abandoning the multitasking chick to rush to the dying family who's car has been crushed by a truck. Hardly the steadiest of routines. Sure, occasionally you had a good laugh because of a stuttering middle aged man who 'accidentally' sat on one of his kids big color markers, or the teenager who managed to staple his nose. Those moments were rare, though. Having to deal with death that you knew how to avoid because the diagnosis was crystal clear but you didn't have enough time to save the person, those stupid deaths, these were the most difficult to cope with. And unfortunately not uncommon.

For once Cameron let herself wallow in self pity. Her job, her 'time-out' with Chase. The couple had also settled down in a routine, despite their hectic jobs. But for Cameron, that wasn't enough. Or more exactly she was content with just that. Until Chase had to talk about moving in together, settling in, perhaps even moving away from Princeton. The idea hit her hard. And beyond that, all the planning Chase was slowly but surely pushing for, Cameron found herself struggling with an issue she thought she had overcome. Her lack of trust. And Chase hadn't been blind to it. She had tried very hard, had spend hours talking herself over her husband's death, that something similar was not bound to happen again. All the stalling, it wasn't only because of her past, of how damaged she was. No, it wasn't just that.

If she was absolutely honest with herself there was only one major obstacle preventing her from leaving. One gruff, 6'2'' with stunning blues eyes obstacle. Cameron thought many times of leaving Princeton, but the thought of never seeing House again was more unbearable than the dull pain she felt every time they were close. She knew what it felt like not being able to see the one you love and being powerless to change the situation. Now, if she tried hard enough she managed to stop herself from drowning in his eyes. Of all the controlled composure she mastered throughout the years when facing House, those magnetic eyes were her biggest challenge.

Not for the first time, she had felt this control slip away this afternoon. The most difficult aspect of being around House was that she never felt indifferent. She could be angry, mesmerized, annoyed, shocked, hopeful, helpless, but never indifferent. Once again this afternoon he had thrown her off with just a few words.

It's disappointing to think that you've trained the best doctors only to find out they've joined the hospital' sewing club. No matter how hard she tried she could never protect herself from House. Every time he threw her off her painfully built emotional balance, she had to pick up her feelings and tried to rearrange them in a way not to get worked up the next time they met. It was always the same vicious circle. He'd give her hope than blow her off, which ended up in doubting and self-reevaluation. She was getting tired of it. She was getting tired of everything. She wondered when she would collapse, and she couldn't even be bothered to anticipate a solution.

. . . . .

House threw his backpack and jacket in the general direction of the coat rack before slumping down on the couch. The end of the day had been downright shitty. Wilson had thrown him out again, only summoning him to 'talk to her'. Despite his abrasive nature, House wouldn't push Wilson too far for a while. He was well aware that he had been desperately close to losing his best friend, and for once in his life he would be mindful of his behavior towards another human being.

Every time he had failed to avoid Cuddy, she smirked evilly like she had some dirt on him before barking to get his ass down in the clinic. Foreman too kept on smirking, which did nothing to improve House's mood. The only people he had successfully avoided were the rest of his team, who had spent the rest of the day treating their patient and being useless in general.

Talk to her. Right. What the hell was he suppose to say? Besides was there anything to say at all? He meant what he had said. She had nothing to do in the ER. Even she acknowledged it. He merely voiced out what they both already knew. A little forcedly. As usual. Every time he was around her his mouth took over his brain and he always ended up blurting something mostly hurtful and generally tactless . He could never remain cool headed around her. She was a constant distraction. She'd either be annoying, intriguing, beautiful, or just… there. Every time he managed to figure her out, she would come up with the most unbelievably uncharacteristic thing to say to whack him on the head. Like when she said that a threesome every seven years might actually help a marriage. Now that had thrown him in for loop. Even two. When he thinks of it she was probably the only person able to render him speechless.

Things were bound to change now that she was working in another department. But now she solved cases before he did?! Was the earth still going round?! Get a grip man!

House sat up, rubbed his hands over his face, then got up to sit down back again in front of his piano. His fingers skidded lightly over the keys, not playing anything in particular.

If he were honest, it wasn't really surprising that Cameron came up with a diagnosis after having spoken with Foreman. They were more in sync when working together than the new team, so a ten minutes discussion over lunch was probably more constructive than all the fussing and brain storming that went on these last days.

The past month had been rather hectic. Wilson coming back, his father's death, the whole ordeal with Cuddy. House wasn't the type of guy to dwell on feelings but it might be time to sort his out if he wanted to stop doing stupid things and concentrate back on work. To top it off his team was starting to get a little too comfortable to his liking with their tendency to wait for either him or Foreman to tell them what to do in order to avoid getting on the wrong tracks. When his previous team started out they were cautious as well, but the Vista version was getting downright assisted, and he couldn't have that. He needed quick minded autonomic employees. There was a limit to guidance.

House finished Rhapsody in Blue and proceeded to his bedroom. He had done way too much thinking tonight and he needed some sleep. He'll talk to Wilson again tomorrow. Just what the hell was he supposed to tell her? Apologies? Would that make the earth go round again?

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Thanks for reading. And please review! Thanks in advance!

I'm sorry if some of you find this chapter boring, but I wanted to establish Cameron' set of mind, how tired and confused she is, and how close to cracking she is.

Also, I have nothing against the new team, so sorry if it comes out as bashing, but it was needed to portray House's annoyance.