I said I would update some of my older fics, and I am :)

Sam closed his eyes as he tried to move his hand. He couldn't do it. The heated pain made it impossible to move. He groaned and shook his head, a tear rolling down his face. Now he was going to be even more worthless than ever. He wouldn't be able to help Dean. What if Dean needed him? Needed someone with two hands? How is he going to type one handed? He couldn't do research, even book reading would be harder to do and would take a lot longer.

He bit his lip. He wished that he was dead, rather than handicapped.

Dean nodded, as he listened to the doctors.

"So you suggest that he has therapy sessions while he stays here?"

"It's not a suggestion," the doctor said kindly, but firmly. "We requir it, and by law we have that power if we think the person is going to continue to cause harm to himself."

Dean nodded, not sure of the therapy sessions would make things worse or better. It's not like Sam could talk about feeling worthless because he couldn't go on hunts anymore.

But it couldn't hurt, and frankly he wasn't sure how to handle something like this. Normally he would have wanted to take care of Sammy by himself. But right now he was too terrified of losing his brother to think about trying to treat him at some motel-a place filled with sharp objects.

He nodded.

"It doesn't seem we have much of a choice," he said slowly. Suddenly a nurse screamed.

The scream was coming from Sammy's room.

Dean raced towards it, fear in him once more. He and the doctor stared in horror at the bandages that had been cut. Blood was oozing from them.

"No..."Dean's voice trailed off. The Code blue staff had rushed to the bed, causing Dean unable to see his brother. "Sammy? Sam!"

"Sir, you have to leave now," the doctor told him sternly. He pushed Dean out of the room.

"Sammy!"

Dean banged on the door as it shut on his face, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Damn it!" What the hell was his brother thinking?

Less than an hour later, the doctor came back to Dean who was pacing briskly back and forth.

"How's Sammy?"

The doctor sighed.

"We managed to stabalize the bleeding," he said. "It was on the hand that was probably paralized for life. Now it's definantly paralized, far too much damage to fix. But we did manage to save his life again-"

Dean sighed.

"But," The doctor said in a warning voice. "I'm not sure if we can the second time. We have him on 24 hour watch, and his hands are strapped to his bed."

Dean closed his eyes at the image.

"It's for his saftey," the doctor said. Dean nodded slowly.

"All right, can I be the one who watches him? Instead of some random nurse?"

The doctor frowned at that.

"It's a hell of a job, sir, to do that 24 hours a day."

"I don't care."

"Well you'll have to sleep sometime."

"Fine, when I do someone else can watch him," Dean relunctantly agreed. "But the rest...I want to watch him."

The doctor nodded.

"Very well, we'll see how it goes for now."

Dean nodded slowly, his body still shaking from the latest incident, his mouth still dry. This was too much. He nearly lost his brother twice now.

Slowly he walked back to the room where a nurse was keeping a watchful eye on his brother. The doctor had always walked with him and explained to her the change of plans. Slowly Dean sat down next to the bed and stared at his brother, strapped helplessly to it, as he slept.

It was than that a tear slowly ran down Dean's face.

TBC