He stared at the body for a few brief moments; blood dripping from his knife. The RED Spy lay at his feet, his suite cut to shreds, a stab wound to his heart staining the white shirt underneath a stomach churning crimson.

BLU Spy stared down at the corpse, whom just moments ago was trying to kill him. The his right hand began to tremble as the adrenaline in his body thinned.

His mind was racing; he actually killed him. He had killed a man on his first day in the Fortress.

…[i]Killed.[/i]

---

BLU Spy sat at the foot of his bed staring at his feet, trying to find a reason why he was so upset. This was a war; he was expected to kill people, so he had. He had killed RED Spy in self defense; kill or be killed. So why was he so upset?

He pulled his mask from off his head and tossed it across the room. Reaching into his left pocket he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, sliding one between his lips. He flicked the lighter from his right pocket and inhaled deeply; sweet bliss.

He looked at the mirror above his dresser; staring at the face he saw. He saw a man with short brown hair, green eyes and a five o'clock shadow. He looked tired and distressed; something weighing on his conscience. He was guilty of murder, that's what it was.

A murderer.

A knock at his door broke his chain on thought, "What?" he called out, irritated.

It was engineer who opened the door, his voice coming out with a smooth Texan drawl , "Spy, get yer ass out here. It's supper time."

He sighed but offered a weak smile, "I'll be right there."

Engie raise an eyebrow, "You okay? You look like hell."

Spy shook his head, waving it off, "I'll be alright. Just a long day."

He ran his knuckles across the stubs of his beard, "Who're you tellin'? Now come eat."

Spy breathe in deeply, getting to his feet. The ground seemed to wobble for a moment before he steadied himself, "Alright."

Engineer walked off, leaving the door open. The BLU Spy stashed his knife in his top drawer, pausing moment to stare at the blood stain he has forgot to clean off, before heading off to join the rest of the team.

---

He pushed the peas around on his plate; the one vegetable he couldn't stand. Though, you wouldn't have known by looking at him. He hadn't eaten a thing and had only sipped at his water. His appetite just wasn't with him tonight.

"What iz zeh matter, Spah? You've hardly touched your food." Medic's German tongue cut through his thoughts; he was not someone you wanted to ignore. Not out of fear, just because he always knows what he's talking about.

Spy fumbled for words, "I'm just… not very hungry tonight."

"Zats not good. Not at all. You needz to keep your strength up. It iz war, after all." He nodded matter-of-factly in Spy's direction.

He just looked down at his plate worriedly, "Yeah... War..."

Engineer spoke next, "So, how was your first day, eh?"

He wasn't sure how to answer. 'Fine' was a generic response to give; not a lot of detail and it wouldn't necessarily be lying but it wouldn't exactly be telling the truth either. He could spill the beans, tell them exactly how he felt. But that felt like it would be going to far, especially his first day in the fortress. What should he do?

"It was…" he started, trying to hide the reluctance in his voice, "it was interesting." Should he tell them about the RED Spy? Should he tell them he killed a man? He wasn't sure.

But, it was like Medic said, this is war, "I sorta…" he paused a moment, forcing the words out of his mouth, "[i]killed[/i]… someone today. Their Spy."

The room fell eerily silent. Scout, whom he hadn't noticed was at the table, had a mouth full of meat loaf fall back on his plate. The Demoman set down his bottle of liquor, Medic, Engineer, Heavy, suddenly all eyes were on him. Even Pyro had set his mask aside to gaze at him intently.

Had he actually done something wrong, kill that RED Spy?

Medic spoke first, his words were careful, "You… killed zee RED Spah?"

It was too late to back out now, "Yeah… right before the cease fire."

A huge smile spread across the Engineers face, clapping his hands together gleefully, "That's excellent! Great job!"

Great…job? The Scout seemed to agree, "Holy shit, bro. You killed him? You killed RED Spy? No ones ever been able to touch him before!"

Spy became uncomfortable, unsure of how to react, "They haven't?"

"No, dude! He's killed five of us since that bastard signed on to RED. And you… on your first… wow." Scout leaned back in his chair, seemingly overwhelmed.

Spy was overwhelmed too, but for different reasons. He suddenly felt conflicting emotions: misery and guilt fogged his mind, while pride that he might have done something right clashed with the rest of him. He felt out of place, "It really more of a fluke to be honest…"

"But you still got him! Fuckin' a!" Scout bounced in his chair.

Pyro's voice made him jump, "How did you do it." He had an eyebrow raised. Spy took note of how blue his eyes were.

"I… stabbed him." This is wrong, he thought. It feels like telling them is wrong. He wondered just what kind of world he had stumbled into.

Pyro's eyes narrowed, though, speculating, "[i]Stabbed[/i] him? Just like that."

No, not just like that. Of course there was back story behind it, "Just like that." Great, now he was a liar.

But the man simply shrugged and retrieved his mask, leaving the table. He headed down the hallway and out of sight.

Deciding that it was probably better to leave before he had a complete and utter meltdown, he excused himself, "Look, it's been a long day. I'm… just going to go to bed." He looked to Medic, "Thanks for the food, even if I didn't eat much of it." He hurried from the table to his room, not waiting for anyone to respond.

---