By Your Side

By Laura Schiller

Series: Shugo Chara

Copyright: Peach Pit

Part 1

"I love you, Ikuto," said Amu. "Will you go out with me?"

There. It was out. Heart pounding, she looked up at the tall, indigo-haired teen in front of her. He gave off passion and mystery like a cloak; the dashing cat-boy who drove her insane with his dirty jokes yet always swept in out of nowhere to save her. Never giving a straight answer, always slipping out of reach. Tonight was the night; her hopes and dreams would finally be confirmed...wasn't it?

Ikuto blinked and shook his head, sending a heavy, silky strand of hai falling into his eyes. He frowned, as if he hadn't heard correctly, then gave a sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

"Geez, Amu...I'm so sorry." He looked it, too; even his cat ears were flattened with chagrin. "Did I make you think...I'm sorry."

"Wha – what?" She backed away. "Are you saying - ?"

"I can't," he muttered, his tail swishing from side to side. "Look, you're really cute. You wake my cat instincts. But. loving someone... I'm just not up to that kind of commitment, you know? And even if I were, you're so young."

"But – I'm almost twelve!" Amu could have kicked herself. How childish could she get?

"And I'm almost seventeen. I'd have to wait for you for...it just won't work."

He sounded as if waiting were an unpleasant chore. Amu could feel the usual angry, indignant pounding in her brain asociated with Ikuto; only this time it was tempered with hurt.

"You – you were all over me!" she spat. "You bit me on the ear, you call me by my given name, you grab me from behind...you mean you were only playing with me? Like a cat with a mouse?"

Ikuto's lips twisted into a crooked little smile. "That's about it, yeah. It's like I said, you're cute. I can't help myself. I didn't mean for you to read anything serious into it."

Amu saw red.

"You're a good kid, Amu. But I'm just not that into dating you. I'm sorry."

He jumped onto a lamppost, then into the nearest tree and so out of sight. Amu was left alone.

The November sky was heavy with clouds; the trees in the park had all but lost their leaves, except for a few brown, brittle survivors stubbornly clinging to their branches. The fountain was dry and besides herself and Ikuto, no one was there. Amu left, crunching the gravel along the path, digging her hands into her coat pockets to keep them from freezing up. Too bad she didn't have pockets for her heart.

Ikuto. Playing the violin by moonlight. Showing up on her balcony at the dead of night. Startling her into spitting out her milk. Catching her when she fell.

Ikuto!

He made her off-balance; she never knew what crazy thing he'd do next. He was the one who almost spoiled her important baking project for Tadase, but brought candy for 'compensation'.

I really thought he liked me. Amu's eyes were burning, but she blinked the tears away. And he does...but not in the right way. Stupid Ikuto.

Stupid me.

She remembered how he used to make her blush and stutter – a volatile mix of anger, shame and attraction – when he said those shady, teasing things to her and about her.

"Don't touch me in erotic places," meaning his ear.

"She jumped into my arms," when she'd fallen by accident.

"If you ask sweetly, I might do it."

"Don't get so caught up in the moment." Laughing at her for staring into his eyes a bit too long.

The way he said her name with a tiny smirk and purring emphasis, as if her name, along with the rest of her, belonged to him alone. At least that was how her romantic, twelve-year-old mind had interpreted it.

So wrong.

"Amu-chan?" said her Shugo Charas, trailing anxiously behind her as she made her way home.

"Don't let him get you down!" Ran squealed fiercely.

"Men aren't worth it anyway," snarled Miki, who had been laughed to scorn by Yoru herself a few moments ago.

"We're here for you, desu," said Suu, perching on Amu's shoulder and giving off a tiny spot of warmth.

Amu barely heard them through the ringing in her ears and the voices in her head, shouting back and forth. The Amu who hated Ikuto, the one who still loved him and the one who wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere and forget everything were squabbling shrilly with each other, giving her a pounding headache.

Suddenly she heard footsteps behind her on the gravel. She picked up speed. If it was Ikuto, she wasn't about to make it easy for him. It wasn't, it could only be some creep stalking her; especially since it was getting dark. She heard him call out, but she didn't recognize the voice or what it was saying until about the third try.

"Hinamori-san!"

She stopped and whirled around.

"Tadase-kun?"

The boy in the light brown coat ran up to her, smiling, pink-cheeked from the cold; as soon as he saw the look on her face he stopped short. His red eyes widened with concern.

"My God, Hinamori-san! What's the matter? Is there anything I can - "

That was too much for her; the tears just overflowed. For a while, she couldn't say a word; Tadase quietly gave her his white handkerchief, put his arm around her shoulders and led her to a park bench, where she sat down and cried until she couldn't cry any more.