"I...I can't believe I let that happen to you Bella..." Edward stood next to Bella. She was lying unconscious in the hospital bed. She had been in a car accident. And he had seen it happen. He had been frozen for the first time as someone else called an ambulance. Now they were in a hospital. It was called Sacred Heart Hospital from what he remembered. He remained staring down at Bella's pale face as the beeping of the heart monitor made the only noise in the room. He didn't notice as the sun started to come from behind the clouds, lighting him up like a disco ball.

That's when another man, a taller one with curly brown hair walked in. His face had a scowl on it, one that frightened so many of his subordinates, as he watched the vampire mourn over the woman. "She's not dead yet, Dracula," he said. How Doctor Cox knew that Edwards was a vampire, I don't know. But Edward's probably going to ask pretty soon, so then Dr. Cox can tell us. He then remembered: he can read minds. He tried to prob into Dr. Cox's mind. Desperately reaching for some piece of information. But, like with Bella, he couldn't read this human's mind. Was this human really a human? But Edward decided he should just ask the question.

"How did you know I was a vampire?" Edward demanded with a threatening snarl.

"I didn't. I just said that to see if I could provoke an emotion and since I was able to get you to snarl threateningly at me, I'm guessing that my guess was, as people often say, 'right on the nose.'" Dr. Cox explained flatly.

"So what if I am a vampire? It didn't help me save her," Edward looked from Dr. Cox to Bella as the realization sunk in. She was here because he hadn't been fast enough to save her....

"By God glitter boy, if you're that emo why don't you just take out that Hello Kitty razor right now. And when you're done maybe you can put some nair on it. Then when she wakes up she'll look down to see you writhing in pain and think 'how the hell did this pansy get me pregnant?'And then she'd feel bad for insulting pansies because, despite popular belief, they are very durable flowers. So then she'd have to think of another damn flower but then that will cause her more mental pain because we all know it isn't good for girls like her to think. Then when she finally figures it out, you'll finally figure out how to turn her into a vampire without fangs. Then, glitter boy, you and glitter girl can go off and save the day from the evil glitter girls, glitter boys, and those damn puppies no one puts a collar on."

Once Dr. Cox was finished with his rant, the Janitor walked in, sweeping the floor. He looked up at Edward then back to Dr. Cox, "Is he gay?" he asked.

"Dear God, don't insult gay people like that," Dr. Cox said with an exasperated sigh.

A/N: Okay. I hate Twilight. My friend loves Twilight. So we both came up with a way to enjoy it a little more. Have Dr. Cox do one of his famous rants to him. We also have one for Jacob that I'll put up later if people like this. Just...everyone loves Dr. Cox's rants XD I know I do XD

Anyway. Please, don't kill me too bad for this. It was half my Twilight-loving friend's fault. (Especially the 'Gay' part. That was her fault.)

Oh, and one of my best friends is gay. So keep the homophobic comments to yourself.