Title: And Now For Something Completely Different

Author: TardisIsTheOnlyWaytoTravel

Story Summary: Harry and Luna head to Gotham to visit her Uncle Alfred. Things don't go as anybody expects, least of all the supers of Gotham... HP/Batman crossover. AU.

Author notes:

Yeah, so I've got another Batman/HP crossover I haven't updated for a while... but that's completely different in style and plot.

I'm not nearly as familiar with some aspects of the Batman universe as I should be... mostly I know some of the villains. So excuse me if I get anything a bit off. I've tried.

Edited for eleven errors. Eleven! Blimey.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

CHAPTER ONE

HI UNCLE ALFRED

Harry stood outside the airport with their bags, looking dubiously around at the Gotham skyline as he waited for his girlfriend to hail a taxi. He didn't know what he'd expected, exactly, but this wasn't it.

Gotham City, industrial centre, central office of Waynetech, and home to one of the world's more infamous superheroes.

It was sort of... grungy.

"Harry!"

He looked up to see Luna waving at him. Today she was wearing sparkly red shoes, a purple pinafore minidress with a black tshirt saying 'damn straight I'm good in bed – I can sleep for days' thrown over the top, and the ladybird earrings Harry had given her for her last birthday. The shirt had been from him too, in return for a promise she'd never wear the 'I Shagged the Dark Lord Slayer' shirt ever again, unless she really wanted to. Harry figured that was the best deal he could get on that one.

He picked up their bags and loaded them into the car boot, before joining Luna in the back of the cab.

"Wayne Mansion, please," Luna said sunnily.

The cabbie gave her a doubtful look.

"It's not just anybody who's allowed in there, lady."

"We'll be right," Harry said.

"Besides, we can always break in," Luna added serenely.

Harry nodded seriously.

"That too."

The cabbie gave them another look, even more doubtful than before, but hey, it wasn't his problem. Shrugging, he rejoined the sluggish wall of traffic, reflecting that if two loons were arrested for breaking into Bruce Wayne's digs today, he'd know who they were.

o0o o0o o0o

Alfred paused at the kitchen threshold at the sight of Dick Grayson already in there, eating cereal.

"Master Dick," he said in mild surprise, "I was not aware you had spent the night."

Dick shrugged.

"I crashed in my old room. We were late getting back, so I thought I might as well."

Bruce entered the kitchen at that moment. He was in a suit, and he was scowling.

"Meeting, huh?" Dick asked.

Pop!

"Holy shit!" Dick stared wild-eyed at the guy now standing in the middle of the kitchen.

"Hi," the young man said. His accent was British. "I'm looking for a bloke named Alfred."

"Who are you and how did you get in here?" Bruce commanded calmly. The man turned to him. He was of about average height, with a slim build, messy black hair and green eyes. He was smirking slightly.

"Hi," he said cheerfully, ignoring the question. "I'm Harry. Alfred around?"

"And just who are you?" Alfred demanded.

"Uncle Alfred!" a female voice cried. They all turned to see a young blonde woman removing a silvery cloak, rippling into existence as she did so.

Bruce glanced at Alfred to see him looking as though he'd seen a ghost.

"Luna? Little Luna?" he croaked. "You look just like your mother. Why, last time I saw you you only came up to my waist!"

"You know these people?" Dick asked.

"I do indeed know this young lady, Master Dick," Alfred agreed. "She is my niece, Luna Lovegood. I confess however that this young man is a complete stranger to me."

"Harry Potter," the young man introduced himself.

"Oh my." Bruce had very rarely seen Alfred look flabbergasted before. "The Harry Potter, I presume?"

"He's my boyfriend," Luna explained dreamily.

"That I am," Harry agreed. "On both counts."

"Alfred," Bruce was completely lost by now, "could you explain who these people are?"

"Sorry, sir. As I said, this is my niece Luna, and she is apparently dating Mr Potter. Mr Potter is something of a celebrity in Britain."

"He's also known as Lord Black, the Boy-Who-Lived, Witch Weekly's Most Eligible Bachelor for three years running, The Chosen One, the Dark Lord Slayer, and Oh-Fucking-Merlin-It's-Him," Luna added helpfully.

"Wait a minute," Bruce's eyes narrowed, "Harry Potter, Lord Black as in the Harry Potter, Lord Black who more or less owns Black Enterprises and all its subsidiaries?"

Harry grinned unabashedly at him.

"You know, it's actually rather nice to be recognised for that and not the other thing," he said.

"What other thing?"

Harry waved a hand vaguely.

"Never mind that," Dick protested, "How'd he do the popping out of thin air thing?"

Harry and Luna grinned at Alfred.

He sighed.

"Master Bruce, you might like to sit down..."