Pushing Rose too far

Please Note: This idea only came because my friends and I were fooling around at lunch one day and thinking of possible bloopers for Twilight…I love Twilight and am in no way trying to make people think I'm bashing it…I'm just poking some fun at it…

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all of Emmett/ Jasper/ Edward's sexiness….and Carlisle too…but for those who know me…saying he's hot is….weird

Edward's POV

There was Emmett, standing like a retard counting up all his pens making sure he had exactly 20. I mean, who counts their pens??? Oh, and that's not even the half of it. He names his pens too. No, seriously…I'm standing behind him reading the names of these things….Rosalie 1…My love Rose 2…..then ranging from things such as Coconut 5 to Rhubarb 8…I mean…what the freak is a Rhubarb anyways!!!!

On and on his pens say these random names where he had obviously just taken a sharpie to write them on these things…What do his classmates say??? I bet everyone just pays attention to him to see what pen he'll pull out for class that day…Man! Where does he come up with these names?! Not to mention some are pretty random.

Emmett POV

Ok, 20 pens. Man! I don't see why Rosalie pesters me as to why I name my pens. I have VERY good reasons okay! I mean, for the most part, it's so sticky fingers, Edward, doesn't go nabbing them. And I mean some are pretty creative except for pens 13-20 where I simply ran out of creativity and just named them pen with a number after them. But hey, at least I can keep track.

Rosalie 1, My Love Rose 2, Rose 3, Beautiful Rose 4, Coconut 5, Kleenex 6, Milk 7, Rhubarb 8, Pocky 9, Fish 10, Fruit 11, Love my car 12, and then pens 13-20… The hardest part was having to name most of them after food. Because seriously, someone in my shape has to eat and I don't want anyone even having to slightest idea that I'm a vampire and that I don't eat because, well, I don't.

Edward's POV

I couldn't help it. I just had to have Emmett give me a good reason…not to mention, I don't think he's noticed the fact I'm behind him.

"You name your pens?" I asked

Well, as sweetly as I thought I said it, I was apparently wrong and Emmett certainly didn't have the slightest idea I was behind him because that scream was full out.

Emmett's POV

My gosh! Could Edward have possibly let me know he was behind me?!?!!! Man, that scream was possibly the most unmanly thing I've ever done. Oh man and cowering here on the floor is not really helping. I stand up slowly making sure Edward isn't going to jump at me again. I know I should probably say something, but it's not like as if Edward can't read my mind. And knowing him, he probably is.

I stand up and pick up my pencil case which was thrown on the ground when Edward scared the daylights out of me.

"Sooooo..." he continued, "You gonna tell about those pens?? Seriously, of all things Emmett, this has definitely got to be the stupidest."

"Oh I'll tell you," I fought back, "it's so when you steal my stuff, I'll be able to tell." I made sure to emphasize the 'you' so he would hopefully get the point.

"What's with the names though??" he asked obviously perplexed.

"It gave me something to do." I replied. Hey, it was the truth. Did he want me to make up some obscure lie? Because if he did, he certainly wasn't getting one.

"Nope, I don't want you making something up. But I still think your reasons for the names are weird." He said obviously he was tapping into my thoughts…again. Man! I hate it when Edward does that.

It wasn't until then that I realized that I must have been pondering pretty intensely because then Edward comes to me saying:

"Hey, you dropped your pen." He said in all sweetness.

Okay THAT was pushing it, "You have to treat them as if they're living breathing people!!!" Geeze! What was Edward's problem?! They have names for a reason! Or does he think I'm really that retarded!?!

"Sorry. Uhhh…Rhubarb fell when you moved." He said rather hesitantly and with a confused face.

Wow…Edward played this better than most people in my class. Maybe my manliness scared him. Well, at least now I won't look like the only foolishly foolish fool. (Sorry had to add that for those Phoenix Wright fans)

Edward's POV

Emmett finally finished packing up his people pens and just left his pencil case as he finished getting ready for school. Just to poke some fun I decided to take one of his pens. I mean, if his sole reason for naming them is so that I won't take them is pretty intense. I mean, let's see how long it takes before he notices one of them is gone.

I heard Emmett coming back so I just grabbed the first one of Emmett's 'babies' that I could get my fingers on and stashed it in my pocket. I left the room and read the pen's name. It wasn't until then that I noticed how corrupt Emmett's brain really was.

Hope that wasn't too horrible. This was originally intended to be a oneshot but I like this cliffhanger so it shant. Constructive critisizm is greatly appreciated and so are reviews.