When Bad Guys Play by the Rules
But only when it suits them of course
By: The Master-genius with a very short attention span-Windsifter
Who's very weak by the way
And thinks robots *of all kinds* are cool
GO ZOIDS! GO TRANSFORMERS! GO GUNDAM! GO ALL OTHER SHOWS WITH ROBOTS IN THEM THAT I'VE FORGOTTEN!
Except for anything from Cubix cuz I don't like that show...
I love robots, unfortunately, none show up in this fic, Cell doesn't count...
-I don't own anything Dragonball Z related, except for a pile of graphic novels and a Piccolo figure. *sighs*
Which includes all characters... in this fanfic... yeah... just shut up...-
Cell yawned as he looked over his cards, ever since he and the other villians he had "teamed up" with had been imprisoned by that Piakuhan, he had taken to playing cards with the Ginyu Force. Yes, they were low-life, low-leveled clowns, but they were the only source of entertainment in the tiny prison cell.
"Got any... Twos?" Cell asked Burter, looking at his cards, he only needed one more Two...
"Go Fish," Burter yawned as he glanced at his cards, he then slouched back into the slumped position against the wall.
Cell shrugged and picked the top card out of the deck, he then grinned. "Hah, got my Two anyway," he sneered before placing his pair of Twos down. He leaned back, mildly pleased with himself.
Burter simply snorted, Cell was already winning with 4 pairs as compared to the rest of the players with their one pair or two. He himself only having 3. "Yeah, whatever. Frieza, got any Sevens?" he asked as he looked at his hand.
Frieza sighed and flicked a Seven at him, "Question. Why are we playing "Go Fish" instead of "Poker" or something more serious?" he asked as he studied his nails with nonchalancy.
"Because there's nothing here to bet besides clothes, and you and Cell aren't even wearing any," Jeice immediately answered, combing through his hair with his right hand. He had declined from the present game, prefering to stare vacantly out through the bars, at the 'real' world.
Most formalities had been done away with long ago, after a casual friendship proved more interesting then ranks, Frieza even *almost* didn't mind being mildly insulted, provided he could insult just as much back.
Frieza sighed, "True, how dull..."
Burter sighed suddenly before standing up and walking over to the bars of the prison. "I'm starting to go INSANE in here!" he yelled as he started bonking his head against the bars.
"No shit... bet you go next..." Guldo answered, referring to poor Recoome who had gone utterly out of his mind and had began stalking the others in the cell with a spoon, he had then been removed for his own safety, he had scared Frieza's father SO much, that they needed to remove King Kold as well.
Cell yawned again, "I wonder how my children are doing..." he wondered out loud, thinking about the 7 ADORABLE creatures he had spawned, oh yes, he loved his CUTE little Cell Jrs...
Frieza suddenly blinked, "Children? Since when did YOU have children Cell?!"
"Hm? Since, about... the day I died," Cell told him, shrugging. "I could have sworn I told you before..."
"Heh, Cell?! With KIDS?!" Guldo asked incredulously, chuckling at the thought. He layed his cards down, foreseeing that the card game was over.
Cell frowned with a twinge of annoyance. "And what exactly is wrong with me being a father? I'm a pretty good one! My children are absolutely the most SWEETEST things you will EVER set eyes on. And they are all VERY well-behaved..."
"When was the last time you saw'em?" Jeice asked, twisting over to look at Cell.
Cell frowned unhappily again, remembering when Gohan MURDERED them... "The last time I saw them was when that MONSTER Gohan murdered them all..." he sighed angrily, then sniffing, remembering the cute faces of his children...
"Oh, I'm sorry," Jeice apologized, realizing he had stepped in a sensitive area. He then twisted back to look out the barred door.
Guldo suddenly straightened up, blinking all four of his eyes. "Wait! You have KIDS?!" he asked urgently, looking at Cell with obvious excitement.
Cell looked at him oddly before answering, "Yeeess..."
"As in, short little, not-quite-fully-grown, still-in-need-of-help, KIDS?!" he repeated, making sure of what he just heard.
"Yes, I. Have. Kids. Seven of them," Cell told him, becoming quite confused by Guldo's actions.
"As in, not baby goats, or anything?!"
"Say, Guldo, are you feeling... alright?" Jeice asked nervously, they did NOT need another Recoome on their hands...
"And you're saying they're DEAD??!!"
"Hey! Do I start mocking YOUR parenting skills?" Cell asked angrily.
"But-but they're all DEAD?! Right??!" Guldo asked again anxiously, shaking in excitement.
"...yes..."
Guldo grinned widely. "You have KIDS Cell! KIDS!! DEAD KIDS!!!!" He then proceeded to do some sort of twisted victory dance around the prison cell, chanting in a joyous voice "Cell has Ki-ids! Cell has Ki-ids! Cell has Ki-ids!"
Frieza stopped him coldly by the arm and lifted him up, becoming rather annoyed in the last minute by the four-eyed alien. "And why exactly are you acting like a fool over this?"
"BECAUSE! THOSE kids, are our ticket out of this cell!" he told Frieza, not fazed in the least by Frieza's anger with him.
Frieza immediately dropped him, even the CHANCE of getting out of their own private cage was worth putting up with the pea-colored, over-eyeballed Ginyu member. "What do you mean our ticket out of here?!" he asked in surprise.
At the mention of a way out, the rest of the prisoners snapped to attention, ANYTHING was better then the perpetually BORING prison cell.
"What do MY children have to do with ANYTHING in your crazy scheme?" Cell asked suspiciously, he REALLY wanted to get out, but he loved his Cell Jrs. way too much to put them in harm's way. Fighting a pack of weaklings on Earth was ONE thing, using them for crazy escapades was quite another.
"Everything! It's in the RULEBOOK!! The RULEBOOK!" Guldo yelled at them, not making too much sense to the rest of the group.
"And that means..." Jeice asked,still wondering if Guldo wasn't just a little "out" of it.
"Come ON! Doesn't ANYBODY here READ?! The rulebook says, and I state, 'And in the process of becoming a member of H.E.L.L. if any spawn, child, or produce, below the age of 18(or at whatever age adolescence , should be sent also to H.E.L.L then the parent and/or relatives must be made eligible to care for the minor, without exception. Do you KNOW what that MEANS?!" Guldo asked excitedly.
"No, no we don't," Burter answered truthfully, "Have you LOST it Guldo??"
"No you idiot! It means, if Cell's got kids, they gotta let him out so he can take care of them!"
Cell's and also the rest of the group's mouths dropped open at this information. The solution had been in front of their NOSES, the whole time.
Frieza regained his composure first, giving Guldo a suspicious look. "And what, persay, would this do for US? WE aren't related to them, "suddenly though, he remembered the fact that Cell was partially made up of HIS DNA," well actually, I am. But the rest of you aren't." Frieza shrugged and smiled widely, being a grandfather had its perks.
"Suuure we are... we're their... Uncles..." Jeice grinned at Frieza, Frieza shrugged, not particularily caring.
"Exactly!" Guldo grinned, nodding up and down.
"Excuse ME! Can we get a little SERVICE around here?!" Cell yelled angrily, banging on the bars of the door. "Come ON now!"
Cell and the rest of the imprisoned group had been making as much ruckus as they possibly could for the last half-hour, needless to say, they had help from the various screaming and yelling at them to "shut up".
"We could use a little HELP here!" Guldo yelled, racking a tin cup against the bars.
"Hell-oooo??" Frieza yelled.
"In need of assistance down here!" Jeice yelled..
"Want. Help! COME ON!!" Burter yelled anxiously, the walls were starting to close in on him...
"WHAT??!!" yelled a nearby voice, the villianous team shut up for a moment as they heard someone FINALLY coming to check up on them. "Now what in the H.E.L.L's firey blazes is goin' on a'round t'here? Here I am, s'tryin ta get ta sleep, and dere's all this ruckus comin' from down here! WHAT?!" the demon asked in an angry voice, he rubbed the back of his red head, and brushed through his thinning grayish-black hair.
"Excuse me *sir*, but is seems to be, that there has been a mistake in imprisoning us," Cell told the rather increpid old demon.
"What's this all about?" the demon coughed as he readjusted his glasses.
It's seems, that you have no right to imprison us," Cell continued slowly, making sure the elderly demon actually HEARD them.
The demon blinked at them before bursting into a fit of laughter. "Yeah! That's sure a good ol' one! We gots no rights ta imprison ya! Real good that is!" he told them between chuckles, he wiped tear from his eyes. "Believe me! I've been workin' here for 150 million sump'thin years, and I'll tell ya this, EVERYBODY who comes in here was meant ta BE here yup!"
"And tell me, did any of those people have KIDS with them?" Cell asked, giving off a confident smirk.
The demon lost the smile for a moment and blinked. "Uh, no... Can't recall any ever haven' kids with'em..."
"Well I kinda DO have kids with me, and according to the RULEBOOK, that gives me and my comrades here, a Get-Out-Of-Jail FREE card, doesn't it?" Cell told him.
The demon turned pink for a moment before he whipped out the giant rulebook and started to study it. After about five good minutes (in which the Cell in the other waited VERY impatiently through) he looked up with an astonished look on his face. "Well doggon'it! It's TRUE!" He yelled in a shocked voice.
"No shit" Guldo yawned.
"Uh, just a minute! I gotta go tell mey superior about's this!" the old demon told them in a shocked voice before hurrying off.
Wait a minute!" Jeice yelled, as the demon speeded off. "Ah come ON! Let's get OUT already!"
"We better get out of here soon, or I'm liable to do ANYTHING at this point," Burter growled angrily, the walls had subsided... for now...
Frieza sighed, "This is REALLY starting to get on my nerves."
(3 hours later)
Cell concentrated strongly over the cards held before him, there were two, if he chose the right one, he would win. The wrong one however... "Hm, this one," he said as he plucked a card out of Jeice's hand. He turned it around... "Darn!" he yelled angrily as he looked at the grinning face of the joker. "I HATE this game..."
Jeice shrugged, "Old Maid isn't THAT hard of a game..."
"Stop that Burter, it's getting on my nerves," Frieza yelled at Burter, who had been banging his large blue head against the wall for the past half an hour.
Burter stopped slammig his head against the wall but only barely. "I can't help it! I got to get out of here!"
"Well crushing your already-empty head isn't going to do much is it?!" Guldo exclaimed in annoyance, he had become slightly peeved in the last few hours.
Burter sighed, "You just don't get it..."
"What don't I get, the fact that beating your head on a wall doesn't get you anywhere?! You are such an idiot Burter!" Guldo yelled, throwing his cards to the floor in frustration.
"Come on! We don't need a fight here!" Frieza yelled.
"Oh shut up! At least I didn't make a PASS on Vegeta!" Burter yelled angrily.
Frieza gasped in horror, "What?! I-I never m-made a-a- THAT'S IT! YOU DIE!" Frieza leaped at Burter just as Guldo did.
"Help!" Burter screamed as he tried to fend off the two attackers.
"What the-?! Heck, come on, we're practically out of here! we don't need this you sorry bunch of slaggin'-" Cell started yelling angrily.
"Hey! At least THEY can win at OLD MAID!" Jeice yelled at Cell, trying to protect the rest of the Ginyu Force.
"SHUT UP!" Cell screeched before attacking Jeice.
"Here they's are boss!" the increpid demon said as he finally came back from speaking to his employer.
"So... these guys have kids...?" King Enma said in disbelief as he watched the dead villians duke it out.
The fight stopped suddenly as the group suddenly realized just who in fact, was there. An uncomfortable silence spread throughout the cell as the villians untangled themselves and looked at their jailor.
"Uh, hi..." Guldo said uncomfortably.
"I'll ignore what just happened, it'll make things easier...... my underling here says one of you has kids..." King Enma said as he rubbed his large red forehead.
"That's ALL of us," Burter quickly reminded, "We're all related! Yeah! Me, Guldo, and Jeice, we're... uncles!"
"Yeah! That's the ticket!" Jeice quickly added.
"And you?" King Enma asked as he looked at Frieza.
"I, am a grandfather..." Frieza said with pride, shooting a dirty look to the remaining Ginyu force when they began to snicker.
"That's odd, you don't look all that old..." King Enma said suspiciously.
Frieza shrugged, "This is H.E.L.L."
King Enma nodded in agreement before turning his eyes to Cell, "And what are you?"
"A biological android created to be the perfect destroying machine. I'm the father," Cell said as he shrugged.
"You're an android," Lord Enma repeated, a bit suspicious about his reproduction.
"A BIOLOGICAL android," Cell emphasized.
Lord Enma blinked before taking out his large "Who's Who book", "Names of the kids?" he asked nonchalantly.
"The Cell Jrs." Cell told him, his heart swelling at the thought of his SWEET little children...
"The Cell... Jrs...?" Lord Enma repeated incredulously.
"Hey! I had them in the middle of a battle and they were... MURDERED ten minutes after! I didn't exactly have much time to NAME them now did I?!" Cell yelled angrily, hatred waxing at the thought of his children's murderer.
"Riiight...," Lord Enma said slowly as he gave Cell an odd look. He then began to page through his book, "Cell jrs, Cell jrs... let's see..." after about 5 minutes of paging through the book he finally found the little buggers, "Cell, Cell Jrs! Here we are, jeez..." he said in surprise as he read up on them...
"What? What's the jeez for??" Cell asked earnestly, eager to hear about just how his children were coming along.
"It says here your... children, are being quite a handful down in the nursery," Lord Enma told him as he paged through the "bad deeds" the children had perfomed. "They've driven out 57 caretakers, pulled various pranks on everyone there, and-" at this point Lord Enma gasped, "Th-they've stolen some of my special FRUIT! Why those-those little-" Lord Enma seethed, he absolutely HATED it when people touched his fruit, much less TOOK it.
Cell simply swelled with pride, "Of course, they ARE the children of a perfect being, of course they would be perfect," he said as he stood up straighter then usual, the rest of the group simply looked at him strangely before shrugging it off.
"Okay, that's it," said Lord Enma, steaming mad about the fact that his fruit had been STOLEN. "YOU are going to TAKE CARE of these little brats! I will NOT tolerate such HEINOUS acts in H.E.L.L.! My special fruit... if they were anybody else I'd-"
"Excuse me Lord Enma, but it's a bit hard to take care of *ahem* OUR children, if we're behind these bars..." Burter reminded Lord Enma as he pointed at the bars of the cell.
"Hm? Oh, yes, let them out," Lord Enma said nonchalently as he looked at his hickish-underling. "But be WARNED-" Lord Enma suddenly shouted out before the demon could make a move. "If you try to take over the underworld you'll find yourself right back in here again! You got me?"
"M'okay" Cell shrugged.
"Good," Lord Enma nodded seriously. He blinked and shrugged, "Okay, let'm out."
"Yessirree Mr. Lord Enma Sir!" the old demon said excitedly as he complied.
"I really do wonder how my sweet little Cell Jrs. are doing..." sighed Cell as he imagined his children.
*sings* Oooh, this is not the end, but it could be, I don't knooow...
Kinda depends on that fact, if people like it, then I'll write more parts, if people hate it, then it's just dandy as a short little story. I know I liked it, I also know I have many, many jokes for the Cell Jrs.... but like I said, I really don't know, I'm not totally and utterly DEPENDING on reviews... I just like them, they feel good... I like attention, I like much attention... *shrugs* Besides, even if nobody does, I know... I have plenty of other things to work on... like SAIYAMON, for instance, now THERE'S a comedy...
But only when it suits them of course
By: The Master-genius with a very short attention span-Windsifter
Who's very weak by the way
And thinks robots *of all kinds* are cool
GO ZOIDS! GO TRANSFORMERS! GO GUNDAM! GO ALL OTHER SHOWS WITH ROBOTS IN THEM THAT I'VE FORGOTTEN!
Except for anything from Cubix cuz I don't like that show...
I love robots, unfortunately, none show up in this fic, Cell doesn't count...
-I don't own anything Dragonball Z related, except for a pile of graphic novels and a Piccolo figure. *sighs*
Which includes all characters... in this fanfic... yeah... just shut up...-
Cell yawned as he looked over his cards, ever since he and the other villians he had "teamed up" with had been imprisoned by that Piakuhan, he had taken to playing cards with the Ginyu Force. Yes, they were low-life, low-leveled clowns, but they were the only source of entertainment in the tiny prison cell.
"Got any... Twos?" Cell asked Burter, looking at his cards, he only needed one more Two...
"Go Fish," Burter yawned as he glanced at his cards, he then slouched back into the slumped position against the wall.
Cell shrugged and picked the top card out of the deck, he then grinned. "Hah, got my Two anyway," he sneered before placing his pair of Twos down. He leaned back, mildly pleased with himself.
Burter simply snorted, Cell was already winning with 4 pairs as compared to the rest of the players with their one pair or two. He himself only having 3. "Yeah, whatever. Frieza, got any Sevens?" he asked as he looked at his hand.
Frieza sighed and flicked a Seven at him, "Question. Why are we playing "Go Fish" instead of "Poker" or something more serious?" he asked as he studied his nails with nonchalancy.
"Because there's nothing here to bet besides clothes, and you and Cell aren't even wearing any," Jeice immediately answered, combing through his hair with his right hand. He had declined from the present game, prefering to stare vacantly out through the bars, at the 'real' world.
Most formalities had been done away with long ago, after a casual friendship proved more interesting then ranks, Frieza even *almost* didn't mind being mildly insulted, provided he could insult just as much back.
Frieza sighed, "True, how dull..."
Burter sighed suddenly before standing up and walking over to the bars of the prison. "I'm starting to go INSANE in here!" he yelled as he started bonking his head against the bars.
"No shit... bet you go next..." Guldo answered, referring to poor Recoome who had gone utterly out of his mind and had began stalking the others in the cell with a spoon, he had then been removed for his own safety, he had scared Frieza's father SO much, that they needed to remove King Kold as well.
Cell yawned again, "I wonder how my children are doing..." he wondered out loud, thinking about the 7 ADORABLE creatures he had spawned, oh yes, he loved his CUTE little Cell Jrs...
Frieza suddenly blinked, "Children? Since when did YOU have children Cell?!"
"Hm? Since, about... the day I died," Cell told him, shrugging. "I could have sworn I told you before..."
"Heh, Cell?! With KIDS?!" Guldo asked incredulously, chuckling at the thought. He layed his cards down, foreseeing that the card game was over.
Cell frowned with a twinge of annoyance. "And what exactly is wrong with me being a father? I'm a pretty good one! My children are absolutely the most SWEETEST things you will EVER set eyes on. And they are all VERY well-behaved..."
"When was the last time you saw'em?" Jeice asked, twisting over to look at Cell.
Cell frowned unhappily again, remembering when Gohan MURDERED them... "The last time I saw them was when that MONSTER Gohan murdered them all..." he sighed angrily, then sniffing, remembering the cute faces of his children...
"Oh, I'm sorry," Jeice apologized, realizing he had stepped in a sensitive area. He then twisted back to look out the barred door.
Guldo suddenly straightened up, blinking all four of his eyes. "Wait! You have KIDS?!" he asked urgently, looking at Cell with obvious excitement.
Cell looked at him oddly before answering, "Yeeess..."
"As in, short little, not-quite-fully-grown, still-in-need-of-help, KIDS?!" he repeated, making sure of what he just heard.
"Yes, I. Have. Kids. Seven of them," Cell told him, becoming quite confused by Guldo's actions.
"As in, not baby goats, or anything?!"
"Say, Guldo, are you feeling... alright?" Jeice asked nervously, they did NOT need another Recoome on their hands...
"And you're saying they're DEAD??!!"
"Hey! Do I start mocking YOUR parenting skills?" Cell asked angrily.
"But-but they're all DEAD?! Right??!" Guldo asked again anxiously, shaking in excitement.
"...yes..."
Guldo grinned widely. "You have KIDS Cell! KIDS!! DEAD KIDS!!!!" He then proceeded to do some sort of twisted victory dance around the prison cell, chanting in a joyous voice "Cell has Ki-ids! Cell has Ki-ids! Cell has Ki-ids!"
Frieza stopped him coldly by the arm and lifted him up, becoming rather annoyed in the last minute by the four-eyed alien. "And why exactly are you acting like a fool over this?"
"BECAUSE! THOSE kids, are our ticket out of this cell!" he told Frieza, not fazed in the least by Frieza's anger with him.
Frieza immediately dropped him, even the CHANCE of getting out of their own private cage was worth putting up with the pea-colored, over-eyeballed Ginyu member. "What do you mean our ticket out of here?!" he asked in surprise.
At the mention of a way out, the rest of the prisoners snapped to attention, ANYTHING was better then the perpetually BORING prison cell.
"What do MY children have to do with ANYTHING in your crazy scheme?" Cell asked suspiciously, he REALLY wanted to get out, but he loved his Cell Jrs. way too much to put them in harm's way. Fighting a pack of weaklings on Earth was ONE thing, using them for crazy escapades was quite another.
"Everything! It's in the RULEBOOK!! The RULEBOOK!" Guldo yelled at them, not making too much sense to the rest of the group.
"And that means..." Jeice asked,still wondering if Guldo wasn't just a little "out" of it.
"Come ON! Doesn't ANYBODY here READ?! The rulebook says, and I state, 'And in the process of becoming a member of H.E.L.L. if any spawn, child, or produce, below the age of 18(or at whatever age adolescence , should be sent also to H.E.L.L then the parent and/or relatives must be made eligible to care for the minor, without exception. Do you KNOW what that MEANS?!" Guldo asked excitedly.
"No, no we don't," Burter answered truthfully, "Have you LOST it Guldo??"
"No you idiot! It means, if Cell's got kids, they gotta let him out so he can take care of them!"
Cell's and also the rest of the group's mouths dropped open at this information. The solution had been in front of their NOSES, the whole time.
Frieza regained his composure first, giving Guldo a suspicious look. "And what, persay, would this do for US? WE aren't related to them, "suddenly though, he remembered the fact that Cell was partially made up of HIS DNA," well actually, I am. But the rest of you aren't." Frieza shrugged and smiled widely, being a grandfather had its perks.
"Suuure we are... we're their... Uncles..." Jeice grinned at Frieza, Frieza shrugged, not particularily caring.
"Exactly!" Guldo grinned, nodding up and down.
"Excuse ME! Can we get a little SERVICE around here?!" Cell yelled angrily, banging on the bars of the door. "Come ON now!"
Cell and the rest of the imprisoned group had been making as much ruckus as they possibly could for the last half-hour, needless to say, they had help from the various screaming and yelling at them to "shut up".
"We could use a little HELP here!" Guldo yelled, racking a tin cup against the bars.
"Hell-oooo??" Frieza yelled.
"In need of assistance down here!" Jeice yelled..
"Want. Help! COME ON!!" Burter yelled anxiously, the walls were starting to close in on him...
"WHAT??!!" yelled a nearby voice, the villianous team shut up for a moment as they heard someone FINALLY coming to check up on them. "Now what in the H.E.L.L's firey blazes is goin' on a'round t'here? Here I am, s'tryin ta get ta sleep, and dere's all this ruckus comin' from down here! WHAT?!" the demon asked in an angry voice, he rubbed the back of his red head, and brushed through his thinning grayish-black hair.
"Excuse me *sir*, but is seems to be, that there has been a mistake in imprisoning us," Cell told the rather increpid old demon.
"What's this all about?" the demon coughed as he readjusted his glasses.
It's seems, that you have no right to imprison us," Cell continued slowly, making sure the elderly demon actually HEARD them.
The demon blinked at them before bursting into a fit of laughter. "Yeah! That's sure a good ol' one! We gots no rights ta imprison ya! Real good that is!" he told them between chuckles, he wiped tear from his eyes. "Believe me! I've been workin' here for 150 million sump'thin years, and I'll tell ya this, EVERYBODY who comes in here was meant ta BE here yup!"
"And tell me, did any of those people have KIDS with them?" Cell asked, giving off a confident smirk.
The demon lost the smile for a moment and blinked. "Uh, no... Can't recall any ever haven' kids with'em..."
"Well I kinda DO have kids with me, and according to the RULEBOOK, that gives me and my comrades here, a Get-Out-Of-Jail FREE card, doesn't it?" Cell told him.
The demon turned pink for a moment before he whipped out the giant rulebook and started to study it. After about five good minutes (in which the Cell in the other waited VERY impatiently through) he looked up with an astonished look on his face. "Well doggon'it! It's TRUE!" He yelled in a shocked voice.
"No shit" Guldo yawned.
"Uh, just a minute! I gotta go tell mey superior about's this!" the old demon told them in a shocked voice before hurrying off.
Wait a minute!" Jeice yelled, as the demon speeded off. "Ah come ON! Let's get OUT already!"
"We better get out of here soon, or I'm liable to do ANYTHING at this point," Burter growled angrily, the walls had subsided... for now...
Frieza sighed, "This is REALLY starting to get on my nerves."
(3 hours later)
Cell concentrated strongly over the cards held before him, there were two, if he chose the right one, he would win. The wrong one however... "Hm, this one," he said as he plucked a card out of Jeice's hand. He turned it around... "Darn!" he yelled angrily as he looked at the grinning face of the joker. "I HATE this game..."
Jeice shrugged, "Old Maid isn't THAT hard of a game..."
"Stop that Burter, it's getting on my nerves," Frieza yelled at Burter, who had been banging his large blue head against the wall for the past half an hour.
Burter stopped slammig his head against the wall but only barely. "I can't help it! I got to get out of here!"
"Well crushing your already-empty head isn't going to do much is it?!" Guldo exclaimed in annoyance, he had become slightly peeved in the last few hours.
Burter sighed, "You just don't get it..."
"What don't I get, the fact that beating your head on a wall doesn't get you anywhere?! You are such an idiot Burter!" Guldo yelled, throwing his cards to the floor in frustration.
"Come on! We don't need a fight here!" Frieza yelled.
"Oh shut up! At least I didn't make a PASS on Vegeta!" Burter yelled angrily.
Frieza gasped in horror, "What?! I-I never m-made a-a- THAT'S IT! YOU DIE!" Frieza leaped at Burter just as Guldo did.
"Help!" Burter screamed as he tried to fend off the two attackers.
"What the-?! Heck, come on, we're practically out of here! we don't need this you sorry bunch of slaggin'-" Cell started yelling angrily.
"Hey! At least THEY can win at OLD MAID!" Jeice yelled at Cell, trying to protect the rest of the Ginyu Force.
"SHUT UP!" Cell screeched before attacking Jeice.
"Here they's are boss!" the increpid demon said as he finally came back from speaking to his employer.
"So... these guys have kids...?" King Enma said in disbelief as he watched the dead villians duke it out.
The fight stopped suddenly as the group suddenly realized just who in fact, was there. An uncomfortable silence spread throughout the cell as the villians untangled themselves and looked at their jailor.
"Uh, hi..." Guldo said uncomfortably.
"I'll ignore what just happened, it'll make things easier...... my underling here says one of you has kids..." King Enma said as he rubbed his large red forehead.
"That's ALL of us," Burter quickly reminded, "We're all related! Yeah! Me, Guldo, and Jeice, we're... uncles!"
"Yeah! That's the ticket!" Jeice quickly added.
"And you?" King Enma asked as he looked at Frieza.
"I, am a grandfather..." Frieza said with pride, shooting a dirty look to the remaining Ginyu force when they began to snicker.
"That's odd, you don't look all that old..." King Enma said suspiciously.
Frieza shrugged, "This is H.E.L.L."
King Enma nodded in agreement before turning his eyes to Cell, "And what are you?"
"A biological android created to be the perfect destroying machine. I'm the father," Cell said as he shrugged.
"You're an android," Lord Enma repeated, a bit suspicious about his reproduction.
"A BIOLOGICAL android," Cell emphasized.
Lord Enma blinked before taking out his large "Who's Who book", "Names of the kids?" he asked nonchalantly.
"The Cell Jrs." Cell told him, his heart swelling at the thought of his SWEET little children...
"The Cell... Jrs...?" Lord Enma repeated incredulously.
"Hey! I had them in the middle of a battle and they were... MURDERED ten minutes after! I didn't exactly have much time to NAME them now did I?!" Cell yelled angrily, hatred waxing at the thought of his children's murderer.
"Riiight...," Lord Enma said slowly as he gave Cell an odd look. He then began to page through his book, "Cell jrs, Cell jrs... let's see..." after about 5 minutes of paging through the book he finally found the little buggers, "Cell, Cell Jrs! Here we are, jeez..." he said in surprise as he read up on them...
"What? What's the jeez for??" Cell asked earnestly, eager to hear about just how his children were coming along.
"It says here your... children, are being quite a handful down in the nursery," Lord Enma told him as he paged through the "bad deeds" the children had perfomed. "They've driven out 57 caretakers, pulled various pranks on everyone there, and-" at this point Lord Enma gasped, "Th-they've stolen some of my special FRUIT! Why those-those little-" Lord Enma seethed, he absolutely HATED it when people touched his fruit, much less TOOK it.
Cell simply swelled with pride, "Of course, they ARE the children of a perfect being, of course they would be perfect," he said as he stood up straighter then usual, the rest of the group simply looked at him strangely before shrugging it off.
"Okay, that's it," said Lord Enma, steaming mad about the fact that his fruit had been STOLEN. "YOU are going to TAKE CARE of these little brats! I will NOT tolerate such HEINOUS acts in H.E.L.L.! My special fruit... if they were anybody else I'd-"
"Excuse me Lord Enma, but it's a bit hard to take care of *ahem* OUR children, if we're behind these bars..." Burter reminded Lord Enma as he pointed at the bars of the cell.
"Hm? Oh, yes, let them out," Lord Enma said nonchalently as he looked at his hickish-underling. "But be WARNED-" Lord Enma suddenly shouted out before the demon could make a move. "If you try to take over the underworld you'll find yourself right back in here again! You got me?"
"M'okay" Cell shrugged.
"Good," Lord Enma nodded seriously. He blinked and shrugged, "Okay, let'm out."
"Yessirree Mr. Lord Enma Sir!" the old demon said excitedly as he complied.
"I really do wonder how my sweet little Cell Jrs. are doing..." sighed Cell as he imagined his children.
*sings* Oooh, this is not the end, but it could be, I don't knooow...
Kinda depends on that fact, if people like it, then I'll write more parts, if people hate it, then it's just dandy as a short little story. I know I liked it, I also know I have many, many jokes for the Cell Jrs.... but like I said, I really don't know, I'm not totally and utterly DEPENDING on reviews... I just like them, they feel good... I like attention, I like much attention... *shrugs* Besides, even if nobody does, I know... I have plenty of other things to work on... like SAIYAMON, for instance, now THERE'S a comedy...