What He Never Said

Summary: Why didn't Kayashima ever tell Nakatsu that Mizuki was a girl? Rather drabble-ish. [Kayashima x Nakatsu].

Rated: K+

こんにちは皆さん！(I don't know if will actually display that, but I hope so.) Anyways, there's not NEARLY enough fanfiction for Kayashima and Nakatsu, the cutest little couple of Hana Kimi, so I finally wrote this one. It's not much, so if you're looking for yaoi smut, it's not here! Sorry to disappoint. But I hope you like it anyways.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hana Kimi.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did Kayashima never tell Nakatsu that Mizuki was a girl? To tell the truth, he wasn't quite sure himself. He had known Mizuki was a girl from the first time he had seen her, and when Nakatsu began to question his own sexuality and wrestle with his feelings, why didn't Kayashima alleviate his stress? But if Kayashima told himself there was no rhyme or reason to his madness, he would have been lying. He knew very well why he didn't want to say anything; he just didn't know what gave him the strength or audacity not to keep his silence.

Kayashima knew from the first week he had met Nakatsu that he harbored feelings for the blonde soccer player. Needless to say, he had been surprised to realize it, but he never questioned or doubted himself. It was just part of him, he reasoned. But what did bother him was how he continued to fall for Nakatsu more and more. It was strange, he thought, that at first Nakatsu's chipper attitude had bothered him and twitched at his nerves – he was used to solitude, after all – but eventually, he grew to like it so much, that during the school breaks, he actually ached for his roommate's company. His thoughts began to revolve almost solely around one subject, and whenever he heard anyone mention Nakatsu's name, he jumped to attention. He had fallen completely and irrevocably in love.

But during that first year, Kayashima accepted his feelings would never be returned. Nakatsu was unquestionably straight, so Kayashima quickly came to terms with the fact that there would never be anything more than a friendship between them. Instead, he strived to be the best friend he could be to Nakatsu; if he couldn't be his boyfriend, he could be his deepest confidant and caretaker. And frankly, it wasn't hard. His deep feelings for the boy made it enjoyable to listen to Nakatsu, as trivial (and sometimes inaccurate) as his problems were. He just listened, sometimes offering advice, and it wasn't long before he had become something like Nakatsu's dog or diary; tell him everything, because he would never tell another soul.

But then, in their second year, Ashiya Mizuki had arrived. Frankly, Kayashima was surprised that no one else, other than Yuujirou and himself, had noticed she was a girl; she hid her femininity so poorly. But he supposed people just saw what they expected to see. And Nakatsu was no exception; when he developed attractions towards Mizuki, he thought not once of the possibility that Mizuki might be a girl, but turned directly to questioning his sexuality. Kayashima could still remember when Nakatsu had first approached him about that as vividly as if he were living it right then.

Kayashima had been working diligently on his Chemistry homework, but before the door had even opened, all thoughts of ions and molecules were chased from his mind the moment he sensed an all too-familiar aura. But it was unusually pensive, and when Nakatsu entered the room, Kayashima saw worry lines creasing his forehead.

"Okaeri nasai," he greeted calmly, feigning interest in the chemical formulas before him. He did not pry; he had no doubt Nakatsu would tell him what bothered him and look for his advice.

"Tadaima," Nakatsu replied, but on autopilot. Then he sighed. "Kayashima," he said slowly.

Sensing the coming question (though not what it could possibly pertain) Kayashima calmly began to clear his desk; he wasn't going to finish tonight anyway. "Hmm?"

Nakatsu hesitated, not as if debating whether or not to confide, but more like he hadn't quite finished mulling the thoughts in his own head, and wasn't sure how to word his dilemma. "Um . . . do you . . . I mean, could I, do you think, could I be gay?" He looked uncomfortable and rather red as he waited anxiously for a response.

Kayashima was struggling not to hyperventilate. He had always thought it wasn't possible, and that it was the one biggest thing that kept him from ever having a chance with Nakatsu. But could he be saying . . . ? It couldn't be possible, but what if it was . . . ? Hardly daring to believe it, he said slowly: "I don't know. Why?"

"Well," Nakatsu explained, turning redder than before, but at the same time, his aura took on a pink tinge. "I-I think I like Mizuki. Like, a lot."

Kayashima felt as if someone had torn out his heart, trampled it and put it through a paper shredder, before returning it to his chest. Mizuki, of course! He should have known! How could he have been so stupid to think it could ever possibly be him? He felt furious tears prickling behind his eyes, but he had no one to blame but himself.

"Kayashima?" Nakatsu asked apprehensively, the navy blue of confusion and worry darkening in his aura.

Kayashima looked up, miraculously retaining his passive expression. He opened his mouth to tell him it was nothing; Mizuki was a girl, and Nakatsu was just sensing that subconsciously, but the words that left his mouth were very different. "So? You're still you."

Nakatsu smiled uncertainly at this, but his aura was still dark. "Yeah," he said slowly. "I guess." And as he wandered off to the bathroom, Kayashima was left with the sense that he had just been a terrible friend and worse confidant. Guiltily, Kayashima rolled into bed and buried his face in his pillow, not knowing he should cry or scream at himself. Conflicted, he settled for a chocked sob and an angry swipe at his pillow. When Nakatsu returned from the bathroom, Kayashima found that for the first time in a year, he didn't want his roommate's company, and he pretended to be asleep. He didn't truly fall asleep until well past midnight, and even then, he was troubled and restless.

-----------------------------

Did'ja like? If so, REVIEW. I have recently posted about six incomplete fanfictions on , and whichever one gets the most reviews (respectively, as my Harry Potter one will most definitely get the highest number), will be continued. So if you want to see Kayashima and Nakatsu get together, SEND A REVIEW!

Flames are also appreciated, and won't count towards a review. :)