Bath

A Naruto Oneshot

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto. Would I be doing this if I did? If I did you'll probably be seeing this in Shonen Jump instead.

"Fuck this." Tayuya spat. "A bath should be relaxing, for Kami's sake! A bath with the dodo of a stupid pigeon knocking the stuffing out of the window certainly doesn't count as a bath, fuck!"

"Calm down, Tayu-chan." Naruto chuckled. "I still can't believe you'll flip the bird at the pigeon until I heard the pre-flip screech coming from the bathroom."

"Well, it certainly doesn't speak human, so I thought I should, and could have spoken bird, you know?" Sporting a foxy grin, the redhead slipped on a large shirt (His) and a pair of short pants, hair still bundled up in the towel, the fleeting scent of rose still detectable. "And I certainly don't screech!"

"Uhh, you know flipping the bird isn't exactly bird speak, right?" Naruto nodded sagely.

"I would give you a deadpan look, but I can't be bothered." Tayuya groaned. "Newsflash, bub, I've an IQ nearly that of your strategist that lazy bum of a Shikamaru. I KNOW. Goddamn it, blondie. I thought you knew this! Is this your dumb blondie day?"

"Well, so where's the 'dodo of a stupid pigeon'?" Naruto asked, pointedly ignoring the barb at his intellect.

"Roasted. Baked. Fried. Barbecued." Tayuya chuckled in glee.

"..."

"Argh, you're no fun to tease. I just stunned it with my flute." She pouted, leg stomping the ground childishly, while her digits slid the ring down her ring finger.

"By your melody or flute-to-pigeon's-head knock out?" Naruto drawled.

"The latter. That's the least I could do for making my bath stressful." Tayuya had an extremely smug look on her face. Naruto thought it was cute.

"You shouldn't harm the bird, Tayu-chan." Naruto groaned, palming his forehead. "What will the council do, if they knew the Hokage's wife to be an animal hitter?"

"Well, Hokage-sama, with all undue respect, I did hit on you..."

"Hn... !" Naruto snapped. "HEY!"

Uzumaki Tayuya exploded in peals of mirth, while an irate Rokudaime Hokage tore after his wife in a run.

"Heh heh... Hiraishin!"

"Not fair!" Tayuya pouted.

A/N: Another Bunny which wouldn't just shut up. Like the bird in the story.