Well this is my first Harry Potter fan fiction. I would like to thank my beta reader Marjolein222 who is made of awesome, and all of the insane authors out there who provided the inspiration for this fan fiction!

The Great Hall was abuzz with the first feast of the year. However, the excitement was lukewarm. Last year Voldemort had risen, or at least, the Ministry finally accepted the fact he had risen, and mass murderer Sirius Black had been proven innocent, post mortem. Now Harry Potter, once called the nutcase by most of the Wizarding World, was now dubbed the Chosen One.

So, needless to say Harry Potter was experiencing the pain of most of the great hall staring at him and whispering secrets of some sort. It had been bad enough last year when everyone had thought he was barking mad. Now it seemed as if he had become some sort of celebrity. Harry almost missed it when everyone ignored him.

"Cheer up Harry" Ron said. "Least now they don't hate you!"

Harry gave a noncommittal noise as a response. For the moment, his eyes were on the headmaster. Professor Albus Dumbledore looked exactly the same as always, if slightly leaner, but he still had that knowing smile and twinkling eyes. This was Dumbledore. One of the adults Harry trusted the most. So why did he feel so angry with this old man?

Why had this old man sent him a letter, saying that he would arrive at Privet Drive on Friday to escort him to the Burrow, only to never show up? Harry had to spend the rest of the summer listening to the Dursleys complain about whatever unlucky neighbor had made the poor choice to wear paisley and plaid together. It wasn't until a week away from the start of school when Mr. Weasley (much to the horror of Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon) arrived, flustered and worried. He didn't stop apologizing to Harry until Molly had torn him away to feed his undernourished body.

For the first time since his errr…incident with Dumbledore last year, Harry finally saw him. Yet Dumbledore showed him no recognition. No glimmer of apology or anything to show he was sorry. His stomach did a horrible flip-flop as he briefly remembered that last year Dumbledore had refused to make eye contact with him because he was afraid that Voldemort would realize how close they were.

But Harrys' scar had barely hurt all year. Surely Dumbledore wasn't still worried about that was he? No…

Harrys' eyes traveled to a familiar empty chair in the staff table. Like always, the Defense Against the Dark Arts position was empty yet again, and it appeared as if no one had chosen to fill it this year. Snape, as always, looked particularly sour for once again losing his much sought out for spot. Was it just his imagination or did Snape look even more annoyed then he normally did…?

All of a sudden Dumbledore stood up to undoubtedly say the beginning of the year speech. He raised his right hand with a goblet in it. He smiled warmly at the entire student body, but Harry couldn't help but notice he didn't, not once look at the Gryffindor table. Come to think of it, not even Hagrid had showed him any recognition. Not that Harry was too interested in confronting Hagrid anytime soon. Harry had decided not to continue with Care of Magical Creatures, and the last thing he wanted to do was break the news to Hagrid.

"I would first like to welcome the new students, and I hope we can all have a wonderful year!" Dumbledores voice was worn, but it rang clearly throughout the hall. It seemed slightly different to Harry though. Maybe a bit higher pitched. Maybe Dumbledore just had a cold, or Harry was being horribly paranoid.

"Now, in the most ahh, unfortunate situation, Dolores Umbridge has resigned from her position has Defense against the Dark Arts teacher." (Here an unchallenged cheer rang throughout the hall. Even some of the teachers joined in) "Now, I would like to introduce our new Defense against the Arts teacher. Lady Serenity Isabella Maria Raven Capulet!"

The hall doors opened, and everyone craned their necks to see their new teacher.

She had porcelain skin, and startlingly gold eyes, that seemed to hold the deepest darkest secrets of the ocean. She had midnight black hair that flowed down to her waist. She wore very odd wizarding robes. They almost resembled muggle clothing. Which of course would be ridiculous, since it was clear she was not a muggle. The clothes she wore showed off her somehow perfect figure, yet did not denounce her purity in the slightest. She was obviously quite young. Most likely only twenty five or so.

"Thank you Albus" She said in the most musical voice Harry had ever heard. She went and sat down in her seat, and much too every ones' surprise she was followed by an animal. It resembled a cat, only it was pure white with green eyes, and it had wings that had pink fringes.

"Oh, and her familiar, Aphrodite!" Dumbledore said quickly, motioning to the cat.

Harry blinked a couple of times, and was surprised to see his glasses her fogging up. She was…beautiful. She was…the center of his universe. Harry was surprised in himself to find he loved her with all of his heart. Was this why Dumbledore never came for him? Not that it mattered anymore, now all that mattered was how to get Serenitys attention.

He saw that most of the other males were staring at her in the same awe struck reaction, and he knew they were all thinking the same thing. Fools, as if they stood a chance.

He saw that Hermione was awe struck to. "Shes' amazing" Hermione said quietly. "I want to be exactly like her…"

XxXxX

Eloise Midgeon of Hufflepuff silently groaned. She looked at their new teacher through her oversized glasses with much disdain. What was everyone getting so worked about? This new teacher was much too skinny. She looked practically like a ghost. Not to mention it did not suit her proportions in the slightest. She also practically looked like, well frankly, a slut.

Not that really one else thought this. Ernie and Justin were drooling as if they had suddenly been turned into lapdogs. Cedric Diggory was practically jumping over the table to court her or something. Hannah and Susan were giggling to each other wondering if they should try and ask where she got her clothes.

It all made Eloise rather sick.

Wait. WAIT! WHAT?!?!?! What was Cedric Diggory was doing here? He was supposed to be dead! Eloise felt her heart come to a complete stop as she stared at the once dead Hufflepuff champion. No…oh no…there was no way that this could possibly have happened…

But in that instant, he was gone. As if he was never there in the first place. It must have been her imagination. Clearly. She was just being silly. Although why she would be seeing Cedric Diggory was beyond her. She never liked Diggory. He had good looks and all the girls falling head over heels for him. It really caused her to lose hope in humanity.

Although, Eloise had to admit, it was probably due to the fact no boy would look at her twice that she had such a cynical view on this whole thing. She had glasses that clashed horribly with her face, and acne that would scare a puppy away. Of course, this was after most of her acne cleared up. Before, she looked a bit like an oddly shaped tomato. She had sandy brown hair which reached her shoulders that no matter how many times she washed it remained greasy. She also had some baby fat left, which gave her a slightly rounded appearance.

"What's the big deal with this teacher anyway?" She muttered under her breath in annoyance. The students surrounding her suddenly stared at her as if she had contracted the plague.

"She's amazing Midgeon!" Zacharias said in a shocked voice.

"Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to be so cruel!" Susan said angrily.

"That's low, even for you." Ernie said in his typically pompous voice.

Eloise turned a bright pink. She wasn't used to being attacked so suddenly liked this. Usually anyone who knew her accepted the fact she was an incurable pessimist and moved on. She hadn't been expecting such a vicious onslaught of insults. They've seen this teacher for roughly five seconds and already they were ready to defend her to the death?

Something wasn't right here.

Not right at all.

Feeling a bit disgusted in the entire events, she left the hall early to get some must need rest in her dorm. After all, this was her NEWTS year. She needed some alone time to figure out what to do. She had done barely average in her OWLS. She would be taking Charms and Herbology most likely, but Transfiguration and Potions were out of the question. She didn't know what grades Lady Serenity was accepting for her class, but something told Eloise that even if she got accepted into that class, there was no way she was learning from that…thing.

She saw two Ravenclaws' huddled together talking nervously. One had dirty blonde hair and…radish earrings? The other was normal, except she had some acne tinted purple, that seemed to almost be arranged as a word on her face.

"Couldn't stand the new teacher either?" The purple acne girl muttered at Eloise.

Eloise nodded briefly. The girl with radish earrings smiled dreamily. "Ooh that's good. It will be so great to talk to someone else about this. After all if the Derailed Mayders are going to be defeated we will need more people!"

"Derailed… what now?" Eloise asked in confusion, completely drawing a blank.

"Ignore her." The girl with the purple acne said in an embarrassed voice. "I'm Marietta Edgecomb. Seventh year. This is Loony…I mean Luna Lovegood. Fifth year"

Marietta? The name stirred up a vague memory. Something about Susan…she had been ranting about a Marietta last year. Something about DA. Whatever that was.

"Eloise Midgeon. Sixth year"

Marietta nodded with a small smile. "Well, it was nice to meet you. For some reason Cho and everyone else are practically in love with our new teacher. It's kind of creepy."

Eloise nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Yeah it is." And with that, she left. She didn't want to appear rude or anything, but it was all a bit odd to suddenly be talking with two Ravenclaws who she hadn't even known existed until a minute or so ago.

She trudged back to her dorm and collapsed on her old bed. Something told her this was not going to be a normal year.

XxXxX

A couple of weeks trudged on without much hassle. Luckily Eloise didn't have to take DADA so there were soon times when she forgot entirely about Lady Serenity. Sure, everyone was fawning over Lady Serenity, but Eloise had gotten used to it and moved on. She had settled for yet another breakfast filled with everyone talking about how they wished they had more DADA homework. Idiots.

She had talked to the two Ravenclaws here and there, but never went out of her way. This whole thing was blown out of proportion anyway. She was just a stupid teacher. It would all blow over eventually.

"Attention, I would like to make an announcement." Dumbledore said, standing up.

"I, Albus Dumbledore, am resigning from the post of headmaster of this school."

Chaos broke out. What? Dumbledore resigning? Why? How? WHY?!?! Dumbledore waited for the worst of the yells to subside before continuing.

"I am giving up my position, to someone who is clearly better suited for the job. Lady Serenity Isabella Maria Raven Capulet!"

Wild cheers replaced the cries of horror. The color slowly drained out of Eloises' face. This was impossible. How could this be happening?

Lady Serenity stood up and her cat purred happily. "Thank you Albus. I already have plenty of plans to reinstate Hogwarts to its former glory!"

More wild cheers.

"First, The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be Sirius Black!"

Hysterical cheers of happiness. Wasn't Sirius supposed to be dead? But this didn't stop from the hall doors to open revealing a very handsome Sirius Black who was clearly not dead.

"Professor Binns will be replaced with Remus Lupin!"

She was bringing back the werewolf? Eloise had nothing against Professor Lupin. She had learned a lot, but she had been absolutely terrified when the news had been revealed.

"There will be a new dress code! So everyone will be able to dress as gorgeously as me!"

The girls particularly got riled up. They would finally be able to look as gorgeous as the amazing Lady Serenity!

"Co-ed Dorms! Four dances a year! And an Owl dating service!"

Mob psychology took over, and the entire hall screamed in excitement. Anyone who had somehow resisted the charms of the new Headmistress found themselves somehow cheering along as well.

"Finally, yours truly will be the matchmaker for the owl dating service! I will also be looking for a soul mate of my very own!"

All the males, teachers and students alike stood up and cheered, clapping their hands furiously. They had a chance to be with her! They had the chance! All the others were just opponents.

Eloise paled, and took a swig of pumpkin juice to calm herself down. This couldn't be happening. No, it couldn't be happening.

The owls swooped down to give their owners mail, as was custom, and eventually, the hall quieted down as students and teachers alike read their mail.

Eloise had never gotten an owl, so she didn't expect any mail. It surprised, her, to see a spotted owl fly over to her. It hadn't come down from the rafters, but had flown from one of the other tables. The owl had a note tied to her leg, and Eloise hesitantly untied it.

It was written in small neat handwriting:

Eloise

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Remember you are not alone. If you want a place free of you-know-who walk past the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy three times.

Marietta and Luna

Eloise memorized the instructions, and then tore up the letter so no one else could read it. She didn't need to be in some secret club. She would be fine. But, it really couldn't hurt to give it a try right?

The spotted owl was clearly not going away, so Eloise took out her quill and ink and hastily scribbled a yes onto a crumpled piece of parchment and gave it back to the owl. It flew to the Ravenclaw table, and once the two Ravenclaws read the one worded response, they beamed at her happily.

Eloise clenched her fists together. What was this all leading to? She didn't like this one bit. Eloise pushed up her glasses and drank some more pumpkin juice. She had to keep her head in this situation. Merlin knows everyone else had lost it.