I stopped, shocked. My minded blanked.

Josh pulled away, panting. "Listening?" He asked me.

I noticed that everyone else's grip on me had also loosened.

"Listening." I answered.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"Your house." I answered slowly.

"And what's your name?"

I snorted. "Elisha." I answered. What was with all the questions?

"What's my name?"

"What's with all the questions?" I finally asked.

Everyone let go of me then stepped back. I found the whole family staring at me.

Then it all came back to me.

"Oh no." I whispered. "Oh no. No, no, no." I keep going as I crawled backwards until I hit the wall.

Everyone just stood where they were still staring. I hated the looks. Some were worried, cautious, understanding. I would have fled the room had I known where I could flee.

I couldn't go home, I could barely leave the house.

"No one blames you." Jennifer spoke, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I think we've all come close."Dean added. He didn't make me feel better. Nobody made me feel better.

"Maybe we should just leave her for a minute." Jennifer said turning from me. I didn't like her turning from me, but at the moment it was better than her stare.

Dani moved towards me and I flinched back against the wall. She gave me a sad look but didn't come closer. She let Dean steer her away.

Everyone slowly left, all except Josh. He was still crouched from where he had kissed me. He was looking at me like I was a timed kitten, which at the moment I probably was.

He moved slightly forward and I flinched again. I felt like I wasn't worth looking at. I was a monster worth being locked away.

"No." I whispered again, but this time pleading with him to stay away.

"Jennifer's right, you know. No one blames you. Even Dean is right for once." He smiled weakly at his own joke, but I didn't move. "This is what the newborns are like, what we were all like. And frankly, I think we all expected it sooner."

He took a step closer to me, still crouched. I flinched again, but had nowhere to go.

"I was probably the worse." He continued. "Left the family, demanded a better life style. Wanting more than lifeless animals."

He stepped again and I actually started shaking. "Please don't." I whispered.

"What? I'm only telling the truth. Everyone already knows it. They've gotten over it. No one expects perfection, not now and not possibly ever." He stepped again. "We've all tasted it, wanted it, wished it. It's a struggle every day."

That I didn't use to have. I think I finally understood his hatred for me. He gone through this, everyone had, if I was willing to believe him, yet until now, I hadn't. I was changing so gradually that it hadn't effected me and I gotten away with all the hard work.

"You must hate me."

"Even less each day." He responded with another smile and I weakly smiled back.

He took that as an incentive to come up to me. He watched my eyes until he had his arms all the way around me and my face was pressed into his chest.

Screw the no crying. I'd gone through too much this week not to be allowed to cry.

Josh kissed my forehead, and then rocked me back and forth while I let it out. I hated this emotional rollercoaster I was on and I was sick of trying to control them. It shouldn't be this hard to be myself.

When I calmed down Josh continued with his story from earlier.

"Ten years ago we were living in a small country in Europe. The Netherlands. Very remote out there. Better known for Amsterdam. A lot of awful men hang out there, but don't let that put you off the city. It's the tourist men that are the problem, believe it or not. They get into the drugs, go after the women and think it's their duty to uphold the mistaken belief of the city.

"I made the mistake one night of protecting a girl coming home from an honest job. The guy stalked her and pulled her into an alley way. I saved her, yet he was found the next morning, drained of... well, I think you get the picture.

"Well one taste was enough. I thought even I just went after those unworthy of life, those who wouldn't be missed, it wouldn't matter. After a while it became the same, boring. I realised that I had to stop there, because going any further would require a more interesting hunt. I came back to the family when I felt worthy enough, then we moved down here."

He fell quite and I looked up at him. He had that dazed look that he wasn't all in the present. I leaned my head against his chest and hugged him. Now I felt better. Not because he'd done something worse than me, or because I wasn't the worse of all of them, but because he'd opened up to me. I no longer felt hated.

Josh started running his fingers through my hair and I shut my eyes at the feeling.

Someone burst through the door and I was shoved behind his back.

"You won't be going anywhere." I voice snarled from the door they just entered. "You've broken the one rule again, and this time you won't be getting away with it."