Disclaimer: I, Kato Shingetsu, do not own any of the things referenced in this fanfiction. This story was made for the purpose of humor ( you know, lols and the like). Please don't email me asking for monies as I have none.

Other disclaimer: Don't be all getting' up in my grill cause I be smoking twenty G's and- Ok I have no idea what I just said. I'm not even sure it that was English. I think what I meant to say was ' If you are going to review, review properly ….. Word to your mother.

Chapter One- The History of Mary-Sue's Part One (The Early Ages)

It seems as long as written word has been around so has Mary-Sues. The first Mary-Sue's came about during the Hellenistic period of writing. In this era, it was common to write leisure stories about a man falling in love with a not-so-bad prostitute who ends up being the long lost daughter of the wealthiest man in town. They get married and live happily ever after.

I swear the moment I read that in my history book I thought I was going to gouge my eyes out. To think that such sap was invented without the use of the internet.

After viewing history I have noticed something. Whenever a civilization has a period of relaxation they come out with some terrible writings. Apparently you do have to suffer to write great things.

Now then, I think it's time we go over what a Mary-Sue is exactly.

The first Mary Sue of our time was written by some Star Trek fanatic. The main character was named Mary Sue, fell in love with all the male character, save the world (or something) and died in the process.

Based on various websites I have visited I've noticed a pattern. Mary-Sue's are alternate characters, usually female. The purpose of a Mary-Sue is to fulfill the desires of the author (usually sexual) with a canon character in a published format. The Mary-Sue is perfect in anyway and adapts to almost any situation. Usually she has some sort of supernatural or divine lineage.

Case Study: Sadako Yamamura

For the past few days I have searched for a character that has a balance of strengths and weaknesses.

…Alright, let's analyze Sadako Yamamura from The Ring by Koji Suzuki.

As we all know Sadako Yamamura is the vengeful specter and main antagonists in the Ring universe. In the story you watch a tape that has her visual and mental imprints, a spell per se. This spell claims you in one week.

But what of Sadako? Why was this spell made?

Now if you haven't read the original books this is where things get trippy. And if you have read the books I'm going to be paraphrasing.

Sadako's a hermaphrodite. This tape was made as a way to imprint her memory onto future generations of the world. Of course things didn't turn out the way things were planned.

Now what are the strengths and weaknesses of Sadako Yamamura. Aside from the obvious ability to come out of your T.V. and claim your soul? In the novels Sadako's telekinetic abilities are key plot devices. She is able to imprint her thoughts onto various items in the story.

Her weaknesses are simple. Sadako's weakness is fear. Fears include, fear of being alone, fear of death, fear of inability to pass on genetics to future generations. So much fear can end up destroying someone.

Well, I have rambled on enough. If I have bored you, I apologize.

Anyway, next time we will dive deeper. I haven't figured out what to report on yet.