A/N: This an angstier story than 'No more sorrow?' I rewrote the whole story, again, because Lina was such a Mary Sue that it scared me at one point. But then again, didn't we all write such stories once? When I wrote this I didn't even know what a Mary Sue was. I hope you like this new version. Reviews are more than welcome. :)

It was autumn. All the leaves had turned into beautiful colors: yellow, orange, brown or red. With some help of the whispering wind they fell very slowly, like feathers, on the ground. Only this was a far more beautiful sight, compared to falling feathers.

I've always liked the red ones. Well, that was before everything had changed in my life. Now, I hated the color. Red, the color of...love, I couldn't even think about that word without wanting to rip those bloody leaves apart, one by one. Now, I preferred the brown ones over the red leaves. After all, brown was the color of death and sorrow.

Sometimes the leaves swished when I walked on them. I'm pretty sure that any other person would have enjoyed this sight, but not me. All I could think of was the pain and sorrow I have had for the past weeks. What had I done wrong to deserve this? I have no idea.

I wish I had someone I could trust. Someone who would always be there for me, no matter what. Someone like a father, or an older brother. Okay, scratch that last thought. Honestly, another Rick wasn't something I was waiting for.

I was glad I knew Kingdom Hearts, because that was the only way I could forget this miserable life for an hour or so. How many times had I hoped for a miracle so far? Still nothing had happened. Maybe nothing would happen. I probably had to stay like this for the rest of my life. I was wondering how many persons I would meet today that would disappoint me now or in the future.

I wish I could live in a world in Kingdom Hearts. Destiny Islands would be the perfect place, or something like that. Sun, sea and the beach. Life would be a paradise, a Utopia. Not that that was going to happen, though. Like I was that lucky. It was more likely that I would turn into a chicken right now. Besides, Destiny Islands didn't exist, so the chance to see such a place was nihil, anyway.

As of lately, I was more worried about the strange dreams I had had for the last months. Every night I dreamed the very same. I was running away from something, or someone, but I was far too slow. I did not dare to turn around and see who – or what. It was more like a 'what' in this case – was chasing me. All I could see was its shadow. Someone was calling my name somewhere in the background. It sounded like a scared little boy. Just when that someone grabbed me from behind, I would wake up, sweating and as scared as I was in my dream.

"Joohoo! Hellooo? Is there anyone? Lina, I'm talking to you! Do you even have the slightest clue what I'm talking about?" Rebecca, my best friend, practially yelled in my ear.

I slowly returned to reality. I hadn't noticed that she was walking next to me, let alone talking to me. I tried to remember anything she had said and sighed. Unfortunately, my brains always let me down on moments like this.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Bec. Could you repeat it, please? Eh… I heard something about...a disco?" I asked.

Now it was Rebecca's turn to sigh wearily.

"Yeah. Thanks for listening to me, Lin. I really appreciate that. Well, at least you've heard the last thing I said, even if it was minutes ago I said that. For the rest, though…"

Rebecca had everything a girl wanted to die for: rich parents, good notes, she was attractive, cheerleader captain, popular, etcetera. Her life was like a picture perfect book. So everyone wanted to be friends with her.

I've always wondered what she saw in me. Why did she want to be friend with someone like me? I was not popular or rich, nor a cheerleader. Hah, the thought only made me shrimp. I only was slightly smarter than she was, which also was a small wonder. She had said that it was my cheerful mood that always attracted her so much. Well, one wouldn't say that if they saw me now…

"Sorry," I said, once again.

I didn't know what else to say. I waited for her to get more furious, something that always happened when she thought that nobody was listening to her. When nothing happened, I was even more surprised.

"I said I'm going to the disco tonight. Lauren came up with it."

Lauren was another cheerleader thus a very popular girl. I didn't really like her.

"The disco? But...what are you going to do there?" I asked, completely surprised.

The only thing that Rebecca did, was shopping. She had never mentioned something about going to a disco.

"Oh, nothing special. I'm going to do my homework for maths, that's all."

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Duh, what do people usually do when they go to a disco? So...do you want to go with us?"

"No."

Going to the disco was the last thing I wanted to do right now. I realized that I sounded ruder than I had actually meant. Rebecca stopped walking and looked at me, surprised.

"Huh? What? Why not?" she asked.

What else did she expect after what had happened a week ago?

I shrugged.

"Not in the mood," was all I wanted to say about it, hoping that she would catch the hint and drop the subject.

Unfortunately, this had the opposite effect.

"Aw, come on, it'll be fun! Or is it because of Tony?" she looked at me, curiously.

I caught my breath in a half-gasp. His name made me shrink from the pain. I said nothing. I didn't want to talk about him. Not now. Not ever again. Not after what he did to me. I had trusted him. He had cheated on me. Wasn't I good enough for him? What did that other girl have that I didn't? Blond hair?

It was so unfair. I thought that he loved me. I didn't want to see his face anymore. I didn't get it why nobody knew what had really happened, that night when I found him kissing another girl. Of course, everyone at school knew we broke up, but they didn't know why. I guess he was hiding it, for some reason. Maybe he was ashamed of what he had done. That served him right, the bastard.

"So yes, it's because of him," Rebecca said, when I still remained silent.

I sighed once again. Why couldn't she just shut up and mind her own business, before I really got mad?

"Lin, sometimes I really don't get you. You've got to forget him. Life goes on, you know? There are boys enough here, so if you don't like him, then just choose another one, like I do..."

I was disgusted by this statement. She really didn't understand all this, did she? Did she even understand what real love meant?

"Anyway, guess what?"

I looked at her and we continued walking. It was getting pretty cold. Our faces were red, thanks to the biting wind.

"What?" I asked, glad that she changed the subject that quickly.

This was one of the moments she tried to cheer me up again. Sometimes I really was glad I knew her. Her attempts did never work, though.

I realized that I still had a disgusted look on my face, so I tried to look as neutral as I could.

"My brother's coming home this weekend. Oh, he's so unbelievably stupid. Now I have to listen to his boring stories about university and other uninteresting stuff, bleh! He's such a...jerk. A spoiled brat, I really hate him!"

Was she being serious? Milan, Becca's brother, was the only one who was always happy to see me. I had had a crush on him, a long time ago. There were times I thought he felt the same for me.

"Well, at least you have an older brother. Wish I had one. Do you even realize how lucky you are with such a fantastic brother? Why are you talking like that about him? He's always so nice and trustful and funny and-"

"What? I simply can't believe what I'm hearing now. Whose side are you on?" she yelled.

As if it wasn't obvious enough yet. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Someone was being a drama queen again.

Apparently, she could read the answer in my eyes, because the next thing she did, was say, "You'd better watch out with what you say to me, or else-"

"Or else what?" I said sharply, challenging her.

I didn't like the way she talked to me.

"Don't talk to me like that! I've got masses of friends. I don't need you!" Rebecca cried.

"So what are you still doing here? Why don't you go to your disgusting friends and leave me alone? I think that's the best for both of us!"

It had slipped out my mouth before I had been able to stop it. Rebecca's brown-colored eyes widened slightly. She kept looking at me like I had just hit her in the face. I suddenly wished I had done that.

Then she said coldly, "Oh, don't worry, I will, if that's really what you want. But first..."

She smirked. I wondered why. It looked almost scary.

"Have you seen the girl was that Tony kissed?" she asked me.

"Eh... no. I was too shocked. I haven't seen her face...why?"

I narrowed my eyes, wondering what she was up to. It had to be something bad, otherwise she wouldn't have smirked like this.

"Hehe, now I'll teach you the meaning of being chocked."

"Which means..."

Why didn't she just tell me what she was up to?

"Here it comes: that girl...that was me," she whispered softly, but I heard it loud and clearly.

Now it was my turn to widen my eyes. The world slowed down, while my heart began to beat faster and faster. It beat that fast that it hurt, like it wanted to escape from my body.

"W-what?"

No, that was impossible. It just couldn't be like that. This was all a lie. She was just teasing me because she was very mad. I was dreaming. I was having a nightmare and I would wake up very soon in my own bed and in my own bedroom.

"Surprised? Well, that's what you get if you mess with me. I told you to steal that tank top for me, but you didn't listen to me. But I have to admit, he's a great kisser. I totally forgot where I was, when his lips touched mine. Such a pity you don't want him anymore," she grinned.

I felt how I began to shake. I felt so unbelievably cold. I started to run away. I kept running and running, without looking where I was going. The tears started to run down on my face. I couldn't stop them anymore. My legs brought me somewhere, I didn't have to think where to go. I kept running, even when I couldn't feel my legs anymore. The wind slashed in my face, like the wind was crossed with me too, but I ignored it and kept running.

I ended up in my own bedroom, where I lay on my bed and started to cry again. There was nobody to comfort me, simply because I had nobody to comfort me. The whole world seemed to have become my enemy. Why was it always me? I couldn't take this any longer. If there wouldn't happen a miracle soon...

I lay on my bed for a while, staring at the white ceiling. Well, I couldn't say it was white. Not anymore. The white paint was getting dirty yellow.

Then I stood up – my head hurt like hell. It always did after crying. I remember a time where I cried to feel better and it had worked – and started to search for my favorite game. I really needed it to take my mind off it, like some people needed cigarettes or drugs. Kingdom Hearts was my drug. Now where was it? I was sure I put it in my PS2 yesterday. I searched everywhere, but I still hadn't found it.

"Where could it be?"

"Are you looking for this?" a voice asked.

I turned around, already recognizing his voice. Who else could it be? What did he want now? It was Rick, my pathetic little brother of twelve years. Oh, I really hated him with a passion. He was always annoying and mean to me, for no reason. He was such a spoiled brat, too.

I tried to stay calm and nice though, because I knew what would happen else. He would get really mean. And mom would choose his side, of course, like she always did.

He had something in his hands; my game. Now that was just great.

"Um, yes, I was. So eh...can I have it back, please?"

I tried to take it back, but he quickly stepped away. A smirk appeared on his face, when he realized that he had found a new way to piss me off today.

"I heard you crying. Why did you cry your brains out now? Is it because of Tony again? Oh please, get over him, already," he started to pester me.

I felt how red my face became. Suddenly it was very warm and fuggy in the room. How funny was that, a few minutes ago I had felt so cold that I had lost the feeling in my arms and legs. Now, it was vise versa.

"Shut up," I whispered, trying to control my anger.

I didn't look at him.

"Oh, are we pissed already? Oh boohoo, poor you. Little Lina is a little baby. Now she wants to work off her emotions by beating Heartless and Nobodies, hahaha!"

"Just give it back to me and get the hell out of here!" I screamed.

"Or else?"

I couldn't control myself anymore and got a red haze before my eyes.

"That's enough already!"

I jumped and grabbed the game he was holding. Then we started fighting. Well, he was actually the one who started. All I wanted to do was to get that game. Maybe he thought I was attacking him. He never trusted me.

He wanted to slap me in my face. But I had expected that - I know, where's the trust? - and pushed him away with all my strength.

He fell backwards and his head bumped against the heating system. He didn't get up. His eyes were closed and he slowly turned pale…or was that due to the light in my room? Something was terribly wrong with him. Then I saw the color red, dripping on the heating system. Red, the color of blood. His blood…

"Rick?"

He didn't open his eyes.

"Rick? Please get up. Open your eyes and say something to me. This isn't funny anymore!"

Still no response. Then maybe he wasn't joking at all...

"Please, Rick... Rick?"

Oh no. He was dead. Oh my god! I just killed my little brother! I killed him because of a game!

I started to shake, violently. I started screaming from horror and I felt tears coming down on my face. My mother opened the door and walked into my room. I always hated it when she did that, but now, for the very first time in my life, I really was glad to see her.

"Lina, stop that! Why are you acting like an idiot? You're screaming the whole town together. What-"

Then she noticed Rick lying on the floor. Her eyes widened, instantly.

"OH MY GOD, RICK! SOMEONE CALL A DOCTOR!"

What did she just say about screaming the whole town together? I guess it was a family thing. She quickly left my room and ran to the telephone. I still couldn't move. The only thing I could do was just stand there and looking at my brother with widened eyes. Maybe it would have been easier for me to have a sister...

A/N: So, the first chapter is done, at last. And yes, I know it's a bit too much angsty and such, but don't worry, that will change. Oh, and this story is not a biography or something. People I know kept asking me about it. :P I have a younger sister, and thank heavens she's the sweetest person I know. Let me know what you think of it. Reviews are welcome.